But the question still remained, how exactly did she move on from that. She had been forced to confront her sexuality in possibly the most humiliating way ever, there was no ointment in the world for that burn, she'd only be lying to herself, because she certainly couldn't wipe the memories clean of anyone and everyone who not only saw her kiss Sadina, but get into an altercation with she and that loser she was kissing.
For a while she attempted to convince herself that perhaps she was pansexual or bisexual, only to return to square one again with no sexual feelings towards men whatsoever, pretty woman, all the feels, handsome man, nothing. Eventually she gave up, deciding to churn her energy into what type of woman she liked, all the while trying her utmost and mostly failing to avoid Sadina, an ever present, frustratingly beautiful distraction, who kept her fantasizing and not focusing on work or relationship goals and all it took was a glimpse of her, she didn't even need to be semi-clothed.
This couldn't be healthy for Rachel's sanity, it was the carrot and stick theory and it was driving her crazy enough to consider moving out altogether.
It was in fact the day that she had finally summoned the resolve to move out, that she chanced upon Lori, a pretty half Ghanaian, half Thai woman, who sustained her interest for some time.
Lori was part of her seminar group and was partnered with her for a group dissertation project and whether it was because of her stupid rose tinted glasses for Sadina, or her ongoing sexual conflict, she hadn't noticed Lori before. To be fair, she had barely taken heed of anyone.
Lori was cute, super nerdy cute, with a lot of really geeky interests. She could quite happily sit and discuss something as intricate as the difference between the camerawork in her favourite films from the 90s to modern day and Rachel found that to be somewhat endearing. She was the polar opposite of Sadina, no interest in the spotlight whatsoever and preferring to wrap herself upon in a onesie and watch her favourite sci-fi, than to hit the clubs and make out with as many people as possible.
Their relationship was fairly ambiguous and that made it difficult for Rachel to ascertain whether or not Lori was gay. She didn’t seem to have any interest in males, but that could be simply down to priorities. She also didn’t seem to overtly express interest in females, so that wasn’t helpful and for all the time Rachel spent with her, she couldn’t deny that her feelings towards Lori were purely curious, nothing had developed yet, though whether that was because of the blurred lines, or her fixation on Sadina still, it was difficult to determine.
Lori knew about Sadina and certainly didn’t rate her. She also knew about the kiss she and Sadina had shared, apparently privy to information thanks to the churning university rumour mill. She suggested that Rachel could do better, but left the conversation vague.
So there was that front to contend with and if that weren’t enough of a mind fuck as it were, just as she was beginning to piece back together some semblance of normal life and routine, Sadina, whether out of spite or attention seeking, decided continued to push the boundaries of what was possible in the house, evidently more so than usual. Loud sex, strutting around naked without a care in the world, leaving her underwear everywhere and more.
Rachel had to find reasons to avoid the house, spending more time at the library studying and in doing so, spending more time with Lori, something of a study workhorse herself.
Lori did a great job of quizzing her on the respective modules before and after intense study sessions, so in the end, it all paid off and she managed to make it through the second year, progressing on to the third.
Presented with the option to move out again and possibly move into a shared accommodation with Lori, the decision seemed obvious, but nothing was ever easy.
Sadina somehow got wind of it and at first it wasn’t apparent that that was the case. Her behaviour had changed, but it wasn’t obvious enough to put a finger on. It began with a few chance encounters with each other in the house and out, despite Rachel’s best efforts to avoid her and then those encounters became more and more frequent.
Then she apologised for her behaviour at the club one random night, the very first indication that she even remembered any of it. The admission and apology left Rachel flushed with embarrassment all over again, but she accepted the apology and forgave her. That must have been the sign of the floodgates opening, because suddenly she started behaving as though they were best of friends again, despite the awkward past few months.
The first sign that she knew something about Rachel’s decision came when one night, whilst Rachel was reading in her room, Sadina knocked at the door and entered when acknowledged. She was behaving more coy than usual and asked if they could talk. When Rachel obliged, she took a seat at the end of the bed and asked what Rachel had planned accommodation wise for the following year.
Unable to maintain eye contact and lie to her face, Rachel gave her a wishy washy answer about potentially moving, despite every intention of doing just that. Sadina went on to butter her up about how well they got on, how Rachel would be missed and how it wouldn’t be as much fun without her, a steady stream of bullshit that Rachel annoyingly found herself
