Jeremy pushed towards developing their own relationship status to exclusive and for a while Rachel went along with it, convinced that she’d grow to love him back, determined not to rock the boat of three they had created for themselves.
Then little subject of sex came up and ruined the moment. She had up to this point held him off, content with making out, but not wanting to explore anything further, though what he saw was the yet at the end of that sentence.
When she had to lie to him, using sex after marriage as her final excuse and he was so sweet and understanding about it, it only served to make her sick to her stomach with guilt. How long was she going to keep this up? Here was the one guy she had come to like and trust and she was using him, behaving no better than… Sadina.
Now, faced with an altogether different dilemma of no longer lying to keep the facade up, but lying purely to protect him from the hurt she would inflict on him, it was breaking her apart. He was in love with her for fuck sake, but if she continued to string him along, she was denying him and herself the opportunity to find someone they really and truly cared about and who reciprocated.
After a long period of deliberating with herself over the idea of breaking up, she eventually conceded and decided to do just that.
Pulling him aside, her heart in her throat, she came out with it all, admitting that she had no romantic feelings towards him, that it was no fault of his own, that she wore a mask to hide her insecurities and the words spilling from her lips sounded to her as jarringly cliché as it could get, it’s not you, it’s me. She admitted that she loved him, but only as a friend, that he was perfect in every way and she didn’t deserve someone like him in her life.
In a strange turn of events, she wept as she spilled her heart out to him and he remained unnervingly calm throughout the ordeal. Then once she was done, he thanked her for telling him and without a shred of hesitation, suggested that it must have been really hard on her to conceal feelings like that and then find the strength to tell the truth.
His words knocked the wind out of her, to be confronted with that level of consideration was beyond all she could comprehend. She could deal with anger and jealousy; she had become accustomed to that, but this? She didn’t know how to deal with this, so impulsively she ran away.
Everything became really awkward after that, much to the bemusement of Terri who was sensing the tension and no fault of Jeremy’s, she just couldn’t look him in the eye and in an environment where they had to work closely together to achieve anything, was the greatest torture.
Rachel eventually explained everything to Terri, leaving out the part about her sexuality and Terri’s response? Laughter, bold hearty hysterics. Rachel shouldn’t have expected anything else from her, Terri thrived on drama, but perhaps telling her was also for the best, because if there was anything that Terri was good at, it was repairing things and that was precisely what she endeavoured to do.
Working her magic, she got them talking and laughing openly again, this time completely as friends and without any deception. Terri, not one to apologise for anything, admitted that matchmaking probably wasn’t her forte and she’d keep her nose out of it from there on out. Jeremy did express disappointment in hindsight that Rachel didn’t trust him capable enough to deal with crappy news like a break-up, but he appreciated the consideration all the same.
Naturally, he wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of being friendzoned - the infamous friendzone, a word she loathed -, but he accepted it because it was her.
Not entirely sure how to deal with an ex coming to terms with her newfound identity, Jeremy was understandably a little awkward about it, but he endeavoured to help Rachel accept who she was and find love in the process and for the first time in her life, she had someone who knew who she really was and wanted to be a support network. It felt so… wholesome.
Probing, Jeremy discovered her crush on Terri and meaning no malice by it whatsoever, he burst her bubble, by revealing that Terri was completely straight, no doubt about it.
Disappointing though that news was, it at least gave her a sense of closure and now she could start simply regarding Terri as just her friend. Nothing escaped Terri’s sensitive ears though and of course she found out. Her reaction, albeit slightly embarrassing with Terri initially poking fun at her expense, gloating about how she wasn’t surprised Rachel fancied her and how it made so much sense now why she and Jeremy had split, was relieving to say the least. It was the remaining piece of the puzzle towards building an indestructible bond with these two and now that Terri knew the deal, she too made it her prerogative to help Rachel come to terms with herself and find the person she was meant to be with.
It began with a gay club after work, Terri’s suggestion, a scene that was worlds apart from anything Rachel was accustomed to.
Whilst Jeremy looked out of his depth, Terri seemed perfectly climatised; lapping up all the attention she was getting despite not being gay. And there they were, Terri on the dance floor, tipsy and getting free drinks left, right and center, whilst Rachel and Jeremy sat awkwardly in a corner turning down anyone who even showed the slightest bit of attention to them.
