None of my father’s threats hit home.
My gaze was stuck on the image of Hazel. Hazel with another man. Hazel who had been lying to me all along.
Rage trembled through me, and I turned and walked from Mortimer’s office, hardly seeing anything on my way down to the lobby. Speaking to no one. Hearing nothing.
I was home some time later, I didn’t know when, and the picture was still in my hand. I stared at it, standing in the entry hall, the house quiet around me. My pulse raced.
The front door opened.
“Damien.” Hazel’s honeyed voice, lies on lies, reached me. “I tried to call you. My dad—”
“Was it worth it?” I asked, turning to face her, sick to the stomach.
“What? Damien… you’re pale.” And so was she. Pale with puffy, red eyes. Had my father called her and told her the jig was up?
“I know.”
“What are you—?”
“I know,” I growled, the words catching on my teeth. I flicked the photo onto the floor.
She took a step and picked it up, turning it over. Her glittering green eyes widened and her cheeks pinked.
“I know everything.”
“Damien…”
“You taped us,” I said. “Gave my father everything he needed to disown me. All you ever wanted was money, and that’s proof of it. Fucking other men on camera while you’re with me.”
“Damien. Stop,” Hazel said, and tears spilled down her cheeks. Her lips curled back over her teeth. “This isn’t me.”
“Liar.”
“Think about it, idiot,” she snapped. “I was with you on this day. The entire day. We were at the resort with your father and brother.” She threw the picture at me. “It’s Kara. OK? Kara is doing porn, and I’m trying to get her to stop.”
I refused to believe it. It was all too easy for her to lie to me. There wasn’t any way that conversation between us could’ve been recorded if not for her. She’d betrayed me, and this was just another lie to cake on top of it.
“Damien, I need—”
“You need what, exactly?” I asked. “I’ve given you more than enough of my time and attention.” An odd feeling had started up in my chest. A ripping and tearing. An ache that was unrecognizable to me, but reminded me of childhood. Of watching my mother leave. “I want you to pack your shit and get the fuck out of here.” Shit, I had to get the fuck out of here too. This was my father’s house, technically. “Your house is ready for you to move back in to. All fixed up, courtesy of me.” Boy, did I regret that now.
She opened her mouth and closed it, and the tears kept streaming down her cheeks. She swallowed, drily. “I didn’t do whatever it is that you thought I did,” she said.
“Save it. I know exactly who you are, Hazel McCutcheon. You have no integrity.”
“I have no inte—?” She cut off, smacking her cheeks. “I didn’t do this, Damien, but I’ll leave. I’ve got… other things to deal with now.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” I nodded to the picture, still lying on the floor. “Real important shit too? When’s your next appointment? Or filming? No idea what they call it in the biz. Maybe you can enlighten me.”
“You’re horrible,” she sobbed. “You’re just a horrible, horrible man. I should’ve known better than to get involved with you again.”
“Ditto. Get out.”
She took my grandmother’s ring off her finger and placed it on the entry hall table. Hazel didn’t look back at me but walked for the door, taking her coconut scent and duplicitous smiles with her. The front door shut, and I was alone and empty again.
32
Hazel
Anything that had been damaged during the fire had been replaced, apart from the sentimental items that nothing could ever replace. In a way, I wished that the box of my high school memories, the same one that contained that single photo of Damien and I together, had been burned too.
It would’ve made sense.
But that wasn’t the case. It was still in there, in my closet, waiting on the top shelf, and I sat on my bed, trying not to feel it staring at me.
I hated him.
But not because of his furious tantrum about Kara’s porn career or the fact that he mistakenly believed I had betrayed him. Though his shitty actions helped.
No, I hated him because I had done the unthinkable. I had gone against the core of our “contract.” I had fallen for him, and there was no going back.
My heart, previously shattered by the news that I would lose my father in just a few short weeks, had been utterly destroyed by that final flow. I loved an unlovable man who would never return my feelings because he didn’t have any of his own.
I rubbed the hollow spot on my chest, tears welling in my eyes. I refused to shed them.
So much was wrong.
So much.
My father dying. My heart broken. My dreams gone. But I had to cling to a semblance of sanity, go through the motions, and keep what was left of my family together.
“Why are you staring into space?” Kara asked, from my doorway.
I shook my head. “Don’t you knock?”
“I mean, I could’ve knocked but you wouldn’t have heard me. You’re all zoned out. What’s the deal?” She entered my room, wearing another barely-there dress and a full face of makeup.
“Oh, I don’t know what the problem could be, Kara. Dad’s dying, and I don’t have a job anymore, so I’ve got to get another one.”
“Hey, you know, you could try—”
“I swear to God if you suggest I start doing
