“Brooke. Your daughter’s doing well for a twenty-eight weeker.” She smiled as she brushed past me and into the room. “She’s in the NICU. They’re helping her breathe, but she’s a fighter.” She lowered herself onto the bed, and I knew I needed to give them some time.ooooooooo
Brooke
Everything hurt. My head, my side, my stomach, but most of all my heart. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Warren did this with every intent of killing our daughter. How could someone who was supposed to love me be so callous? Did he ever love me? I’d been asking myself that a lot lately, but I was having a hard time believing that the answer might be ‘no’.
“Your daughter wasn’t oxygenating enough, so she’s on a ventilator. She’s a fighter though, just like her mama.” The nurse, Donna, smiled softly before glancing away at something. “Brooke? Did he do this to you?”
I nodded, and it hurt. “Yes.” I grimaced. “He wanted to have sex, and I didn’t, so he pushed me down the steps.” A single tear slipped from my eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
“He’s never gonna hurt you again. I’m going to help you. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you the last time.” Donna squeezed my hand. “Do you want to see your daughter?”
“It hurts to move.” I gasped as I attempted to sit up.
“If we can get you in a wheelchair, I’ll take you to the NICU.” She motioned to the door, and then pressed a few buttons on the bed to cause it to rise. After placing a pillow in my lap, she turned me where my legs hung off the side of the bed. “Hold the pillow against your stomach for support and lean on me.” She braced my back as I stood, and slowly helped me sit in the chair. My head spun for a moment, but then the ache in my side came back.
“You’ve got a couple of cracked ribs, and C-sections hurt, but it’s nothing that won’t heal.” She patted my shoulder and then turned to push me into the hallway. “Hey, Dr. Blake?” she called out as we passed the nurse’s station. The doctor from before turned and forced a smile on his face.
“Yes, Donna.” He placed a pen in his pocket and leaned against the counter.
“Can you call your brother for me? Brooke here, needs to talk to him.” She began moving as he nodded and we rounded the corner.
“Who’s his brother? A doctor for the baby?” I scrunched my brow and it caused my head to throb.
“His younger brother is a cop. He can get the paperwork started to get you away from your husband.” She said it so matter of factly as we entered a room with gowns stacked by the door. “I’m gonna drape this over you. It’s to keep everything sanitized in the NICU.”
She wheeled me through the next set of doors, and I was faced with rows of incubators. There were beeps of all different speeds; some bassinets had signs, some didn’t. Three nurses moved around with precision, checking each baby, and making notes. A young woman sat in a rocking chair in the corner, cuddling a baby to her chest. She was humming quietly as a man stood behind her. He looked so scared, but you could tell he was trying to hide it.
“Morning, Maggie.” Donna waved. “We’re here to see baby Ellis.”
“She’s right over here.” She led the way to an incubator in the far corner. “She’s been doing well so far, no apnea.”
I stared at my daughter through the glass. She was covered in tubes and wires. She was so tiny, barely two pounds. Her little arms twitched every few seconds like she was searching for something. The cap on her head barely fit. There were these little fabric sunglasses covering her eyes, and the diaper was as big as she was.
“It looks worse than it is at the moment. She’s a fighter.” Maggie smiled softly as she opened one of the little portals. “Would you like to touch her?”
I needed this. I wanted to hold her, but we weren’t there yet. I slowly lifted my arm. It felt like a lead weight was holding it down as I stretched it out and reached inside. I carefully touched her arm. She flinched, but then settled as I started talking to her.
“She knows your voice,” Maggie encouraged.
My daughter settled as I told her I loved her, and then she wrapped her tiny fingers around mine. “She’s holding on.” I started to cry.
“She’s your purpose,” Donna whispered from behind me. It was like déjà vu. My world paused before starting to spin once again. I’d heard this before, but it wasn’t here.
“You told me that the last time.” I glanced at Donna. “That she was my purpose.”
“She is,” Donna reaffirmed. She didn’t tell me I was wrong or question what I was talking about. She let me be right in this moment. “What’s her name?”
“Ava,” I whispered back. I let my thumb slide lightly over Ava’s hand. “I love you.” I sniffed as I leaned impossibly closer. “I’m gonna protect you, and you’re going to have a great life.” Her fingers twitched again, and I knew she understood me.
It was that moment that changed it all. I wasn’t going to live in fear ever again. I was going to flourish on my own. I had a purpose, a reason to leave, and that purpose was her. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I will. Today was the beginning, the beginning of a new life, a life away from pain and fear.
Chapter 6
Brooke
My days have been spent going from
