“It must be nice to be so free,” she said enviously.
“I thought so, especially at first. But while I enjoy solitude, I’ve begun to realize that I am not cut out to be alone all the time.”
“You can be equally alone when you’re surrounded by people,” she pointed out.
“You’re right, of course, but I guess I’m used to that kind of loneliness.”
“Why did you come to Mars?” she blurted out.
He didn’t tense, but she could feel his hesitation before he spoke. “I never really fit in anywhere on Earth. I thought maybe Mars would be different. Why did you come here?”
“GenCon sent me.”
“You didn’t have a choice?”
“No.” And she hadn’t, not if she wanted to keep moving towards her goal. A goal that seemed increasingly out of reach. Please let me find some sign of hope at the lab, she prayed before she forced out a small laugh and changed the subject. “But enough of the past. What do you think of Mars becoming an independent planet?”
“I’m all for independence,” he said equally lightly, but then he began discussing trade disparities with a great deal of expertise.
She smiled over her shoulder at him when the discussion came to a close. “I see you know about a lot more than just cyborgs and politics.”
He shrugged again. “I like to read.”
“I do too. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept me sane.” Appalled that she had revealed so much, she immediately tried to take back the words. “I mean, corporate life is very demanding.”
“I’m sure it is,” he agreed, his voice carefully neutral, but to her relief he didn’t press her.
If anyone had told her a week ago that she would enjoy spending the afternoon riding across the Martian desert on a robot horse with a strange cyborg, she would have scoffed at the very idea, but she couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much. The vast emptiness of Mars was as soothing in person as it was from her window—although she suspected a lot of that was due to her companion. John turned out to be both intelligent and well-read but even when they lapsed into a comfortable silence, she was glad they were together.
Her body hummed pleasantly with a constant awareness of the man behind her. How long had it been since she had felt such genuine desire? Although she didn’t dislike sex, she was more used to using her body as an asset. In this case, she had nothing to gain. Except pleasure, a small voice inside suggested.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice that the temperature was dropping until a frigid breeze swirled around them and she shivered. John noticed immediately and pulled her tighter against his body, wrapping his big warm arms around her. She started to pull away, to put distance between them, and then realized there was no one around to see her weakness. What did it matter? With a sigh, she snuggled into him.
“Are you tired?” he asked gently.
“Perhaps a little.”
“I’m going to look for a place to stop for the night.” When she started to object, he tightened his arms again in what felt suspiciously like a hug. “You’ve done really well, but it is time to stop. I’d like to get the habitat set up before dark.”
“Can’t you see in the dark?” she asked suspiciously.
He laughed. “Only to a certain extent. And I suspect you’d rather be able to see when you’re using the portable facilities.”
Was she blushing? She refused to admit that she was and returned to his previous statement. “Are you looking for some place in particular to stop?”
“Up there, I think.” He leaned even closer and lifted his arm to point out a long ridge of rock rising out of the desert like the spine of some ancient animal. “That will provide some shelter from the wind if a storm should blow up during the night.”
She shivered again. She had never been out on the surface when one of the infamous Martian sandstorms erupted, but even in the city she had felt the impact of the swirling sand hitting the dome and heard the furious roar of the desert.
“Are you expecting a storm?” she asked, masking her trepidation.
He shook his head. “No, this isn’t really the season for them. I also have some built-in warnings, but it never hurts to be prepared.”
“Did you learn that in the military?”
“I learned that the day my mother dropped me off at the orphanage,” he said quietly.
“Your mother gave you up?” Outrage mingled with her sympathy for him. All she had ever wanted was a child, and here was a woman who had squandered that precious gift. “How could anyone give up their own child?”
She felt him shrug again, but she could hear an ancient pain in his voice. “I assumed she preferred a childless life. And that was only the first in a long line of sudden changes in my life. I learned to get used to it—and to be prepared.”
She put her hands over his where they crossed her stomach and squeezed. It wasn’t exactly a hug, she told herself.
The rest of the trip to the ledge was completed in silence.
The sun was low on the horizon by the time they arrived, sending slanting shadows across the orange sand of the desert and picking up the reds and golds in the rock surface. John guided Winston along the ridge until he located a deep cleft in the side.
“This will do,” he said, guiding Winston into the opening.
Although the area was open to the sky, it felt almost cave-like as the surrounding rock immediately blocked the wind.
“Why don’t you stay on Winston’s back while I get everything set up? He puts out a good bit of warmth, and that will help keep you comfortable until I get the heater going.”
Her instinct for independence urged her to
