"I’ll be in the library," I said curtly and strode off.
My plan had been to come home then spend time with Molly and Ella, but I'd gotten the unwelcome message loud and clear. Unexpected pain ripped through me as I made my way to the library. The strength of it shook me.
How I’d felt when Penelope left me for another man was nothing compared to this pain. Angry with myself, I hurried to the library and banged the door shut. I wasn’t going to think about Ella. I was done with exposing my vulnerability to women I thought I could trust.
I turned on my laptop and though I was tired, I forced myself to work. It would wipe away the questions floating in my mind, demanding answers I did not have. All I knew was that I didn’t want to play games. I'd thought Ella was different!
I stayed locked up in the library until it was dinner time. It grew dark and I stood up wearily, my body stiff from being seated in one position for hours. I found Ella and Molly already in the dining room eating.
"I hope I'm not too late," I said, inserting a cheer I did not feel into my voice.
Molly smiled, but Ella didn’t even bother to look up at me.
When my food came, I ate without tasting any of it and kept a conversation directed at Molly. I felt relieved when dinner was over and I could escape.
In the living room, I sat with Molly and read from her storybook. Then when it was bedtime, I carried her to her bed and tucked her in. I kissed her goodnight and left. At the door, I almost bumped into Ella as she was entering Molly's room.
She jumped back as if I had seared her.
Our gazes met and to my shock, her eyes were red rimmed. She had been crying! To my dismay, her tears spilled over her lower lids and ran down her cheeks.
"Ella, what is it?" I asked, everything in me screaming for me to pull her into my arms. I slipped my hands around her waist.
She stepped back.
Her rejection felt like a slap to my face. Undeterred, I took a step closer. "I don’t understand? Please, talk to me." I sounded desperate but I didn’t care.
She wiped her tears away with the back of her hands and stared at me almost defiantly. Ella had become a stranger. "I'm fine," she said. “I just want to say goodnight to Molly.”
I held her arm lightly. "You’re not fine. Please," I begged.
"We can talk downstairs. I'll come and find you," she said, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Okay,” I said with a frown and went downstairs to wait for her. No matter how much I wracked my brain, I couldn’t come up with anything I’d done to hurt her. I truly hadn't done anything that I knew of.
I waited for over half an hour. She wasn’t coming. My gaze bounced around the living room. I felt disjointed. Lost. As if my world had tilted. If she couldn’t even talk to me—then it was over.
Whatever it was we had before was over. I looked up at the ceiling and refused to do what my instincts commanded—march up the stairs to her room and demand to know what had caused her change of heart.
But I didn’t want to force her to have to tell me the words.
I felt too tired to go back to work and too tense to sleep. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Maybe the news would distract me. I watched the action on the screen but my brain refused to process what I was seeing.
Instead, images of Ella played in my mind. I saw her laughing, sleeping with her lips slightly parted, and drawing, her brow creased in concentration.
All the memories led me back to wondering where it had gone wrong? Had I missed some signs of her getting tired of me? Then a memory came to me. Something that had been nagging me. Ella's distraction and her habit of checking her phone constantly.
I felt as though someone had doused me with icy cold water. Could I be so unlucky as to have two women cheat on me?
She'd spoken about an ex, a man she had been in a relationship with for a long time. Perhaps they were communicating again, and she wanted to get back with him. Could I really blame her?
What had I offered? The only thing I had offered Ella was sex. And she could get that from any man. Something stirred in me. Something I hadn’t felt in years. Jealousy. The thought of Ella with another man made me want to growl and punch something.
I switched off the TV, turned off the lights, and trudged up the stairs. I strode across the hallway and stopped in front of Ella's room. What if I entered and told her how I felt? How did I feel?
I raised my hand and stopped just before I touched the doorknob. I couldn’t do it. I knew I wanted her back in my bed but what if she didn’t want to be there? What if she had found someone else to love her? I turned away and headed to the stairs.
I felt miserable, lonely, and sad. I longed for Ella. She'd become such a big part of my life in such a short time. Resolutely, I shed my clothes and slipped into bed. It was going to be a long night.
Luke
I was working from home the following day. I'd slept badly and finally managed to fall asleep at almost five in the morning. Which meant that I overslept and woke up at nine.
I felt moody. Angry with myself and the world when I went downstairs. I stopped on the first floor when I heard Molly and Ella's voices coming from the playroom.
I pushed the door
