The woman stopped laughing and said, "I amtoo."
Rudy straightened out his bedraggled clothing as hecontinued, "I thought maybe this guy might have some sort of weapon in hisapartment, so I was trying to kick the door down."
"Maybe we can do it together," she said.
For a second, Rudy thought she was talking about sex, andthen he shook his head. Of course not, he thought. Who would have anything todo with him and his ginger bulk? "Yeah. Let's give it a try."
She counted to three, and they both charged at the door.It splintered off the hinges, and they both fell inward. She was the first toher feet, and again she helped him stand, her warm hands sending electricity uphis arms and into his brain. He was still looking her in the eyes when hebecame aware of how awkward he had become. Then he noticed the surroundings.
The man's apartment looked like some sort of derangedtorture chamber. Whips and chains hung from the walls, and the entire room hadthe smell of old, stale marijuana smoke. A huge, four-person bong shaped like adragon with swooping wings sat on the living room table. The floor was coveredin plastic, and the garish lighting turned the room into a sea of pastels andshadows. The windows were shuttered, and the room was eerily quiet.
"Oh, my God," she said. "Look at thisplace. It just goes to show you, you never know who your neighbors are untilyou break in and find a weird sex dungeon."
It seemed like Rudy would never stop blushing today."Your place isn't like this, is it? Are you some sort of pervo aswell?" she asked.
"No..." he stammered as he tried to think upsomething clever to say. Before he could, she had hopped up on the couch and pulleda whip off of the wall and began making whipping sounds.
"Is this the type of weapon you're looking for? Idon't think it will do much to those people out there, at least not accordingto the news."
"I don't think you want to be touching that. You don'tknow where it's been," he said. Rudy laughed as her face went from mildamusement to outright disgust as it dawned on her exactly what she was doing.The whip fell to the ground, and she ran into the kitchen and began washing herhands.
Rudy followed her. When she was done, she pulled open thefridge and discovered that it was just as sad as Rudy's spread. There was beerthough. She grabbed one off of the shelf and tossed one to Rudy.
"Are you even old enough to be drinking one ofthese?" Rudy asked.
"Pshh. Of course I'm old enough... in Canada. Whatabout you with that babyface?" she shot back.
Rudy popped the top off the beer and took down a swig. Itwas horrible. Despite all of the wild ideas he had about how beer actuallytasted, it tasted nothing like what he had expected. He could not hide hisdisgust, which made the girl laugh even harder. Suddenly, he realized he didn'teven know her name.
"My name is Rudy," he sputtered, trying not togag at the taste of the beer.
"First beer, huh, Rudy? Don't worry; it'll grow onyou. My name is Amanda. You go to Portland State, right? I've seen you aroundthere."
The idea that someone would see him around and still talkto him was a new concept for Rudy. The idea that someone would notice him atall was news as well. "Yeah. I'm a junior. What about you?
"What about me?" she said as she took a swigfrom her beer.
"Do you go to Portland State?"
She laughed at him then, "No. I just stalk randomguys on campus."
"Oh."
Amanda slapped him on the arm, "I'm just joking. Ofcourse, I go to PSU. I'm a theater major."
Despite his revulsion, Rudy took another sip from thebeer. They journeyed into another part of the apartment. It looked like theBritish man's bedroom. It was somewhat less freaky than the rest of the apartment.Rudy didn't know why, but it was comforting to know that the man at least sleptin a normal space. Amanda pointed at the ceiling; it was covered in mirrors.There was also a camera on a tripod in the corner.
Amanda began fiddling with the camera, but Rudy had hiseye on a display that was on the wall. In a wooden display case, two swordshung on the wall. Rudy's eyes were large as he approached the swords. He was nosword expert, but he thought they looked Japanese or Chinese maybe. He reachedup and pulled the curved blade off of the wall. There was another shorter swordunderneath, but it was the larger one that he was interested in. The weight ofthe sword surprised him, but the way it moved in his hand felt good. If one ofthose things showed up again he could definitely do some damage.
"Hey. Check this out," Amanda said. He walkedover to her and looked at the viewfinder of the video camera. On the camera,his neighbor was half-clothed and having sex with some sort of inflatable doll.Rudy didn't watch for long, but Amanda kept watching and laughing. The laughingdidn't continue for long though, as outside the bedroom window, an orange glowcould be seen.
Rudy walked over to the window and peered through theblinds at the building next door. It was engulfed in flames. As he watched, abody fell from an upper floor where the flames were the thickest. Cinders andashes floated past the window. It was only a matter of time before the buildingthey were in would go up in flames as well; of that he was certain.
Amanda, all mirth gone, snaked an arm around his.
Rudy looked at her, feeling as if he were dreaming."Grab that other sword. I think we're going to need it."
Chapter 45: To Sleep or Not to Sleep
Mort's face rested on the cool tile of the bathroom floor.In his hand he held a bottle of pills that he had pulled from the cupboardbehind the mirror. Ms. Luella Bates must have suffered from insomnia judging bythe wealth of Ambien that
