Then she was on the ground, and Little Jane shook herhead to clear the ringing in her ears. It didn't help. Nothing seemed to help.From her bedroom, they could still hear Jude banging on the door.
Her father sank to his knees, the gun clattering on thefloor. He rocked forward, his eyes squeezed shut, and tears flowing down hisface. Little Jane's mom went to him, and fell to her own knees, wrapping herarms around him. It was an intimate moment, and Little Jane looked away, made uncomfortableby the sight of her father crying and being consoled by her mother, a sight heryoung mind could have never imagined.
Little Jane dropped to her own knees and looked at Ruby.Her eyes were big, and she couldn't tear them away from Caitlyn's body."Are you ok?" Little Jane asked.
"Why did Daddy do that?" she asked.
"He had to. Caitlyn was going to hurt us."
"Is he going to shoot us too?" Ruby asked,concern on her face.
Little Jane smiled, and smoothed a stray strand of hairout of Ruby's eyes. "No. Dad would never hurt us," she had said,firmly believing her own words with every fiber of her being. "Dad wouldnever hurt us."
****
But the truth was he had hurt them. He had hurt them whenhe had refused to go into Little Jane's room and kill Jude. He had hurt themwhen he had decided to lead them through the city to his boat in an effort toescape the city, leading to her mom's execution at the hands of the militarywhen they discovered she was bitten. Then, when they were escaping theColiseum, he had hurt them one last time, turning into one of the dead andkilling Ruby, leaving Little Jane all alone in a world where nothing madesense.
The loneliness was the hardest part. There were peoplearound her, but they looked at her like she was a piece of luggage, somethingthat they had to carry with them out of duty or responsibility. They didn'tknow her. They didn't know her pain. How could they? They were adults, beingscapable of choosing their own path and dealing with the consequences. For herentire life, Little Jane had been controlled, told what time to go to bed, toldwhat to have for dinner, told what kind of grades to get in school. Now therewas nothing. No one was going to tell her what to do, and the entire world hadopened up to her. She was on her own, literally and figuratively, and theweight of that freedom had crushed her to the ground.
She pushed herself off of the multi-colored carpet, itsflares of colors going all over the place like some sort of absurd fireworksshow. She looked up at the hatch in the ceiling, and then she climbed.
No one saw her. No one paid any attention to her. Whywould they? They weren't family. They weren't mothers and fathers. They weresimply adults, comfortable in their own world, comfortable in their own power.They couldn't know her or her pain. On top of the roof, she saw one of theblack men sitting on the ground, lost in thought. They weren't as scary andviolent as her father had always said, but then again, her father had beenwrong about a lot.
She walked across the roof, the ground feeling soft underher feet. And then she threw herself off of it. As she fell, she thought, Sothis is what freedom feels like.
Chapter 3: Popcorn and Raisinets
She was down there. They all knew that. No one had paidattention to her. No one had helped her, and they all felt a sense of guilt.Lou felt it most of all. He stood at the railing, watching as her broken bodystumbled around down there, Jane, Brian's daughter, the last member of a familythat had been cursed from the get-go.
He had risked much to save them, and, in the end, it hadonly ended in death. He wondered if things would have been different if Zekehad been there. What would Zeke have done? he thought. The truth was, hedidn't know. He didn't know what Zeke would have done; he didn't know what heshould have done differently, but he knew he should have done something.
Lou was too busy getting lost in his own thoughts,wallowing in his own self-pity, contemplating doing just what Jane had done.One minute she was there, and the next, she was gone. All he had seen was abrief flash of the hair on her head as she disappeared from sight.
He hadn't even had a chance to yell. Now he stood at theedge of the roof, trying to avoid seeing the remains of Zeke and the animatedcorpse of Jane. She looked up at him, her arm twisted at a sharp angle, theside of her face caved in. With her one good arm, she reached up to him,inviting him to join her.
Just a little bit ago, Lou thought that he had wantedthat. Death would be simpler. He wouldn't have to figure anything out. Hewouldn't have to take responsibility. But seeing her down there, among thedead, he only knew one emotion. Outrage. None of this was right. He was throughwith self-pity. He was through with letting events happen to him. It was timeto take charge.
Now it was time to set things right. He held out his hands,keeping his eyes locked on Jane. She did her part and kept her eyes locked on him.He felt the weight of the rifle as Blake placed it in his hands. It was hisresponsibility. Lou had saved them, back when Little Jane and her family weretrying to flee on their boat. He should have kept looking out for them, but hehad
