I’m not stupid. I knew who he worked for. I knew what he was really asking. I knew what would happen if I said no.
“I couldn’t be happier there,” I lied.
“Good girl.”
A half hour later, we were parked in front of Tony’s gaudy modern-day castle, the home I’d only just sworn never to set foot in again.
“Remember,” Sean said, “if you have any trouble, you come to me.”
I thought he’d drive off, but instead he followed me inside. I headed straight for my maid’s quarters: a small room where I was allowed to keep a few belongings and where I sometimes slept when Anna and Tony had one of their all-night dinner parties. I shut the door behind me, sat on the edge of the cot, and took long, deep breaths. I thought about calling Símon, my brother, but what could he do against men like Tony and Sean? How could I tell him what happened to me? Besides, Símon had his life here, a life he’d worked hard to make, without help from anyone—least of all me. The last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for him.
Before long, I heard shouting in the kitchen. Sean and Tony were arguing. At first their voices were just loud enough for me to hear, but little by little the volume swelled. They took their fight out onto the deck and closed the sliding doors, but I could still make out every word.
“I can’t keep bailing you out like this,” Sean said.
“You can keep doing whatever it is I tell you to do. You’re my errand boy, remember?”
“This is getting too ugly.”
“Oh, you have no idea how ugly things can get. Keep making yourself useful and maybe you won’t find out.”
They yelled back and forth some more, and then everything went quiet until I heard Sean’s car peeling out of the driveway. I sat as still as I could for as long as I dared, afraid Tony would turn his rage on me.
But he ignored me. Morning, noon, and night, we didn’t so much as cross paths.
Back home in my studio apartment, I got on my knees and prayed for the first time since I’d left Mexico. I prayed for a way out, a way back to the broken-down little coastal city I’d dreamed of leaving my whole life. I prayed until the sun came up and it was time to catch the bus and report to work all over again.
Chapter 31
“YOU HAVE beautiful hair,” Tony said. “It’s a shame to tie it back like that, where no one can see.”
Slowly, even gently, he slid the band from my ponytail, then used his fingers like a comb until my hair was hanging loose around my shoulders. We were standing in front of a hallway mirror, Tony looming up behind me.
“See?” he said. “Isn’t that better?”
I nodded.
“And those pants don’t work at all,” he continued. “They look like scrubs. A woman with legs like yours shouldn’t hide them. Let’s get you a pair of those fitted jeans the girls are all wearing.”
I wanted to scream, to run, to turn and gouge his eyes out. But I couldn’t let him know what I was thinking. For such a big, important man, Tony was deeply insecure, even paranoid. Once, I saw him pick up a chair and break it over the dining room table just because Anna teased him about eating a third cannoli. If he knew how disgusting I found him, he’d have beaten the life out of me, then called Sean to come clean up the mess.
“Maybe try a little lipstick, too,” he said. “Red is your color.”
Of course, he only behaved this way when Anna wasn’t around. If she spent the day at home, which was becoming more and more rare, Tony either stuck to his office or went golfing with Vincent or Sean. Anna didn’t seem to mind. Neither one of them looked happy when they were together.
He kept after me for months. Then one day I saw him alone in the dining room, grinding up more of those pills. Instead of a toothbrush, he was using a wooden mortar and pestle, and instead of a cup of water there were two wineglasses sitting beside a half-empty bottle. I knew those pills couldn’t be for me. Anthony didn’t need to wine me or dine me. I was just his little Mexican maid. I slipped away before he caught me watching. Whatever he was planning, whoever he was planning to hurt, I didn’t want to know about it.
I went into the laundry room, transferred a load from the washer to the dryer, then emptied a fresh basket into the washer and switched both machines to their loudest settings. I told myself I wouldn’t leave that room no matter what, not until Tony had done whatever he was going to do. But ten minutes later I heard his voice calling me from somewhere on the other side of the house.
“Serena! Serena!” Over and over again.
I walked toward the sound of my name as if I was in a trance. I found him in the living room, with Sarah. She was lying unconscious on the floor.
“Help me do this,” he said.
He gestured in the direction of the stairs. I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I just stood there, afraid to so much as blink.
“Now!” he said. “You take her feet.”
I obeyed. I’d never felt so much like a coward.
I’d left my country not because I was poor or afraid or even unhappy: I left because I wanted a first-rate education. My plan was to save up, go to a fancy American law school, then return home and fight the cartels. I was going to challenge myself, see what I was capable of. Well, I thought as we hauled my only friend up the stairs as if she was just another piece of furniture, now you have your answer. Now you know who you really are. You work for the criminals, not
