I had her.
I was fucking her.
I was loving her.
My hands traveled up and down her sides. Feeling curves that a man could only ever dream of touching. Moving over her breasts, one at a time, feeling her hard nipples against the rough palms of my hands.
I dipped my mouth down to her left breast, tasting her warm skin.
I kissed up her neck, her head going back as she groaned with each thrust I offered her.
My speed naturally increased.
I was no longer able to control myself.
My thrusts became harder. My right hand slipped behind Amelia’s back and I held her. Her hands touched my lower back and pushed, wanting more. Just that notion of her body wanting more…
“I’m ready, love,” I warned her.
“Me too,” she whispered.
Our noses flirted one more time.
Then I kissed her.
And together, we had a moment that we would both never forget.
She was curled up in my favorite heavy blanket, sitting in the corner of the bed, holding a beer. She was naked under that blanket and if there was a sight more beautiful than this one, I would dare anyone in the world to challenge me.
Her hair was messy, and she didn’t give a damn about it.
Her eyes were sultry and flirty each time she looked at me.
I put my jeans back on and nothing else.
I casually sat down in front of an easel and just started to scribble. I knew Amelia was watching me and I didn’t mind. There was a time in my life that I would never work on anything - important or not - in front of another person.
And no, I wasn’t drawing a picture of her.
Instead, I worked on some landscape ideas. More specifically, I was attempting to catch the right angle of a downhill sketch. It was a street both Amelia and I were familiar with. Except I was the one in control of the street. So, I left out a certain house on that street because of what it meant. Chances were that what I was working on would become nothing. I had a closet full of sketches and ideas that never panned out. That was just part of the life I lived.
“What are you working on?” Amelia asked.
“Nothing,” I said. I looked at her. “What are you working on, love?”
“Nothing,” she said.
She brought the beer bottle to her lips.
I grinned as my mind flashed images of where those lips had been.
I was hooked on Amelia. And not just from tonight. It was from a long time ago.
I scribbled a few more lines and then stuck my thumb to the paper and started to rub. It made a blurred black line that could work.
I stopped halfway across the page and realized what I was doing.
In a subtle and subconscious way, I was avoiding Amelia.
I stared at my black thumb and shook my head.
I was in love with her.
A real sense of love.
I had felt love before in my life. But it wasn't like this.
There were a few times when I had teetered on the line after meeting what could have been the right person. But I never moved over the line.
With Amelia, there was no line. It was just feeling.
All feeling.
I stood up and turned to face the bed.
There were words lingering on my lips that I never thought I would speak.
Amelia had always been my secret. My girl. The one I protected and the one I wanted to save.
Now she was in my bed.
And I loved her.
Except now she was sleeping.
Her head tilted to the right, her hair in her face.
I’d never seen anything so beautiful in my life.
I snuck across my apartment and got out my camera.
Maybe I would catch some serious hell for taking a picture of Amelia sleeping, but so be it. Maybe there would come a day when we’d sit together and look at this picture and remember the night. What happened. And what it meant.
The camera clicked silently, and the image was forever captured on the memory card.
I put the camera on my dresser and carefully moved to the bed.
I took the drink out of Amelia’s hand and put it on the nightstand. I carefully slipped my hands under her body and eased her down to the bed. She let out a purring groan and sighed. I was instantly hard. I had to smile because I couldn’t believe what she was doing to me.
I tucked Amelia in.
I kissed her forehead.
With the back of my fingers I moved her hair out of her face.
She let out the same sound and I had to kiss her forehead one last time.
I slithered off the bed without her waking up.
I stood there and began to sift through a lot of thoughts.
I thought about Delaney crying at night. Picking her up and cradling her. Or when she lost her hair when she was sick, and I shaved my head to show her hair meant nothing. She told me my head looked like a crooked toe. I told her she looked beautiful.
I thought about Lilah living next to me. That first real gut punch of emotion and how losing her right after Delaney set the tone for what I figured was going to be the end of my life. I chose the path. I chose the ending. I just needed to get there.
The path became clearer when Gram got worse with Parkinson’s.
She cried when I had to feed her.
She cried when I showed her my artwork, wanting to make her smile.
I wanted the end to come sooner rather than later.
And that was the moment a girl appeared from nowhere.
A girl who was hurt, scared, feeling alone… a girl with blue eyes, curly hair, and a look that reminded me that my heart was still beating.
That girl was now a woman. And that woman was now in my bed.
My life was once again forever changed because of Amelia.
Chapter 34
The Touch of a Heart
NOW
(Amelia)
I