‘Pass him a violin,’ said Marjorie.
‘A publican becomes aware that some of his customers are smoking cannabis in his beer garden,’ said William. ‘Is he committing an offence?’
‘He most certainly is,’ said Sir Julian, ‘because he is allowing his premises to be used for the consumption of a controlled substance.’
‘And if one of the customers smoking the cannabis hands it to a friend, who takes a puff, is he also guilty of a crime?’
‘Of course. He is guilty of both possession and of supplying a controlled drug, and should be charged accordingly.’
‘Madness,’ said Grace.
‘I agree,’ said William. ‘Not least because the force doesn’t have the resources to pursue every minor crime.’
‘Hardly minor,’ said Sir Julian. ‘In fact, it’s the beginning of a slippery slope.’
‘What if the landlord or the customer wasn’t aware it was a crime?’ asked Beth.
‘Ignorance of the law is no defence,’ said Sir Julian. ‘Otherwise you could murder whomever you pleased, and claim you didn’t realize it was a crime.’
‘What a good idea,’ said Marjorie. ‘Because I would have pleaded lack of knowledge a long time ago if I could have got away with murdering my husband. In fact, the only thing that’s stopped me doing so is the knowledge that I’d need him to defend me when the case came to court.’
Everyone burst out laughing.
‘Frankly, Mother,’ said Grace, ‘half the Bar Council would be only too willing to defend you, while the other half would appear as witnesses for the defence.’
‘Nevertheless,’ said Sir Julian, passing a hand across a furrowed brow, ‘am I right this time?’
‘Yes, Father. But don’t be surprised if cannabis is legalized in my lifetime.’
‘But not in mine, I hope,’ said Sir Julian with feeling.
‘It sounds to me,’ said Marjorie, ‘that even though your father would have failed the exam hopelessly, you must have passed.’
‘Despite kicking a protester in the balls,’ said Sir Julian.
‘No, I didn’t,’ said William.
‘No, you didn’t pass, or no, you didn’t kick the protester in the balls?’ demanded his father.
They all laughed.
‘You’re right, Marjorie,’ said Beth, coming to her fiancé’s rescue. ‘As of next Monday, William will be Detective Sergeant Warwick.’
Sir Julian was the first to stand and raise his glass. ‘Congratulations, my boy,’ he said. ‘Here’s to the first step on a long ladder.’
‘The first step on a long ladder,’ repeated the rest of the family, as they all stood and raised their glasses.
‘So, how long before you become an inspector?’ asked Sir Julian, before he’d even sat back down.
‘Pipe down, Father,’ said Grace, ‘or I might tell everyone what the judge said about you during his summing-up of your most recent case.’
‘Prejudiced old buffer.’
‘Takes one . . .’ said all four of them in unison.
‘What’s next on your agenda, my boy?’ asked Sir Julian, in an attempt to recover.
‘The Hawk is planning to shake up our entire department, now the politicians have finally accepted that the country is facing a major drugs problem.’
‘Just how bad is it?’ asked Marjorie.
‘Over two million people in Britain are regularly smoking cannabis. Another four hundred thousand are snorting cocaine, among them some of our friends, including a judge, although in his case only at weekends. More tragically, there are over a quarter of a million registered heroin addicts, which is one of the main reasons the NHS is so overstretched.’
‘If that’s the case,’ said Sir Julian, ‘some evil bastards must be making a fortune at the addicts’ expense.’
‘Some of the leading drug barons are coining literally millions, while young dealers, some of them still at school, can make as much as a hundred pounds a day, which is more than my commander is paid, let alone a humble detective sergeant.’
‘With so much cash swirling around,’ said Sir Julian, ‘the less scrupulous of your colleagues might well be tempted to take a cut.’
‘Not if Commander Hawksby has his way. He considers a bent copper worse than any criminal.’
‘I agree with him,’ said Sir Julian.
‘So what does he plan to do about the drugs problem?’ asked Grace.
‘The commissioner has given him the authority to set up an elite unit, whose sole purpose will be to track down one particular drug baron and take him out, while the area drugs squads concentrate on the supply chain, leaving the local police to handle the dealers on the streets, and the users, who are committing other crimes like burglary and theft to fund their addiction.’
‘I’ve defended one or two of them recently,’ said Grace. ‘Desperate, pathetic creatures, with little purpose in life other than getting their next fix. How long will it be before those in authority realize it’s often a medical problem, and not all addicts should be treated as criminals?’
‘But they are criminals,’ interjected her father, ‘and they should be locked up, not mollycoddled. Wait until it’s your home that’s burgled, Grace, then you might feel differently.’
‘We’ve already been burgled, twice,’ said Grace.
‘Probably by someone who can’t hold down a job. Addicts begin by stealing from their parents,’ said William, ‘then their friends, then anyone who leaves a window open. When I was on the beat, I once arrested a young adult who had a dozen TVs in his flat, scores of other electrical items, paintings, watches and even a tiara. And then there are the fences, who are making a small fortune. They set up so-called pawn shops for customers who never intend to claim the goods back.’
‘But surely you can shut them down?’ said Beth.
‘We do. But they’re like cockroaches. Stamp on one of them and half a dozen more come scuttling out of the woodwork. Drugs are now an international industry like oil, banking, or steel. If some of the biggest cartels had to declare their annual profits, not only would they be among the top hundred companies on the stock exchange, but the Exchequer would be able to collect billions more in taxes.’
‘Perhaps the time has come to consider regulated legalization of some drugs,’ said
