I frowned. “How is it a choice?”
“Between being the strong person I know, or letting your fears rule you,” she said. “If you’re afraid of being broken again, Josie, then you will be. And in that case, you’re right. You can find other places to live, rebuild your life, but there are only so many times you can rebuild yourself.”
I just nodded, looking down at my tray through a haze of hot tears, willing them back. When they wouldn’t be denied, I blinked them free and swiped them quickly away.
“So one, foreclose and lose everything,” I said, pulling apart the croissant. “Or two, marry Martin and keep the ranch, but risk the integrity of it.”
“Or three . . .”
I stuffed the flaky bread into my mouth, not even tasting the warm, buttery goodness before I swallowed, shoving everything else down with it. She was right. I was letting my fear rule me. But I couldn’t put my ranch down as collateral for my heart. It wouldn’t be fair to my employees to hope again and lose. That would be even more disastrous.
I can’t make you trust me.
“There isn’t a three,” I said softly.
Chapter 13
1904
Josie
I was sweeping, pushing, and pulling wet sticks and small debris from the long, wraparound porch when option number two came to call. Martin LaDeen, in all his puffed-up glory and enclosed carriage, rolled up, straightening out his suit as he stepped down.
“Miss Josephine,” he said, brushing his hands over his jacket before stepping up to hold one out to me.
I wasn’t usually a fan of proper greetings, so the lack of a “Miss Bancroft” was on point, but today, for some reason, it rankled me. Perhaps because this man had no personal knowledge of me, and yet wanted me to saddle up with him in spite of it. It felt presumptuous. Then again, today was the day.
“Mr. LaDeen,” I said, taking my time resting my broom against a railing. I turned to let him take my hand in his meatier one just in time to see the disdain color his features.
I had on my daily outfit. Breeches, riding boots, and a top shirt. Sans hat. I had rounds to make shortly, checking on any further damage to the buildings, and I needed to check the herd and double check Malcolm’s estimates on fence repairs. In short, I was at work, and this was my work uniform.
Mr. LaDeen had never seen me in it, however. We’d only met twice, once when I was meeting with my accountant in town and again at the party, both times looking much more put together than now. Then again, if he’d worked here at the Lucky B once, when Ben was here, he would have. My daily wear hadn’t changed in five years.
“I hope my unannounced visit doesn’t offend,” he said, kissing the backs of my fingers a little too long. It was all I could do not to yank them back and wipe my hand on my shirt. “Or catch you at an inopportune time,” he added, gesturing toward the broom, as if it were the traitorous culprit that had me dressed so offensively.
“Not at all,” I said. “I was just doing some chores.”
“On your birthday?” he said, a grin pulling at his lips. “Surely one of your help could take care of chores today.”
“My help.” I chuckled. Maybe too harshly. “Well, one of them is feeding the animals, and the other is in town to pick up food to feed us, so . . .” I grabbed the broom handle, needing something in my hands. “I’m it.”
He paused, as if about to say something before clearly thinking better of it, placing his other hand over mine on the handle to cover it instead.
“Well, all this will change, I assure you,” he said softly. “You won’t have to do such inappropriate tasks again—”
“I don’t mind,” I said, clenching my jaw. “Cleaning makes me feel productive.”
“Understandable, understandable,” he said, nodding. “But would you like to change and let me take you to lunch for your birthday?”
“Of course,” I said. “After you tell me why you were fired from here several years ago.”
He withdrew his hand as if I’d burned him.
“Excuse me?”
“I couldn’t believe I didn’t remember you,” I said. “Imagine my surprise. Then again, not everyone is memorable.”
His face became a mottled canvas of pinks, reds, and something resembling plum.
“I don’t know what you think you’ve heard,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “But you shouldn’t listen to gossip, Josephine.”
“There was no gossip,” I said. “I found my father’s notes and ledgers. His shocking revelation right after the big storm that ‘Heavy Lean Deen’ was stealing from him.”
It wasn’t a complete lie. There were notes and ledgers. Maybe not about him, but that was inconsequential. There were also years of teaching me to call a bluff.
The plum color turned positively purple and spread down his neck.
“It was all a conspiracy because Malcolm didn’t like me,” he sputtered. “He spread rumors about me—”
“Actually, he told no one and fired you quietly,” I said, turning to resume my sweeping. “You can go, Mr. LaDeen.”
“Josephine . . .”
“Sorry you wasted your day,” I added.
I heard a huff of breath behind me. “You don’t understand just how profitable our relationship could be.”
Profitable.
I looked back at him over my shoulder.
“I’ll survive the disappointment,” I said. “Goodbye.”
The front door opened as his carriage jerked and sped away like his horse wanted away from him as well. Lila stepped out onto the porch.
“I take it you heard?” I asked.
“I might have,” she said quietly.
I swallowed, gripping the broom handle as I watched the dirt cloud behind the carriage.
“Can you find me something appropriate to wear, please?” I asked, the words thick on my tongue as I shut my eyes tight against them. My heartbeat was loud in my ears. “For a ride into town?”
I felt the pause. “Would you like me to try to ring up Mr. Green?” she asked. “The line may
