“A drink while we wait?” Andrey asked as I stepped into the hallway where he stood with Greg.
Sucking in a breath, I glanced down the hall while tugging on the lapels of my jacket, waiting for my stomach to right itself. I was long past being able to do this anymore. No, that was utter bullshit, I’d never been comfortable acting the way I just had, it wasn’t in me no matter how many people proclaimed I was as nasty and as violent as they came.
This club really wasn’t my style, but it would be ten minutes before Sandir and Tayte would join us, and a yes, I needed a stiff fucking drink. “Sure. Then I’m off to Caulder’s.”
Andrey, Tayte and Greg took their leave after the club while Sandir and I headed to Caulder’s. I didn’t really want another drink, but I had a hankering to see a certain pretty pink-haired waitress, wanting to nail down exactly what it was about her that had me seeing her face when I’d fallen asleep these past few nights.
In truth, she was the one stopping me from going out and fucking some random woman just to get it over with. I wanted Jolie, and only Jolie, it was the weirdest thing. She was the sort of woman who had an absolute amount of respect about her, a woman who would never in a million years let me treat her like a hole, and I had no intention of doing so. She didn’t flirt or throw herself at me, or any of my men. Dignified, she was so beautifully dignified, I was certain one night with her would be my undoing and I wasn’t afraid of what that meant.
“You’ve definitely got the hots there for Bunny, Yan” Sandir said as we sat down at a table in the far corner, away from the busy bar. No VIP tonight.
“Yeah,” I laughed, shaking my head. “Think I just might.” I trusted Sandir with my life, told him everything, no point denying again what was right in front of his face.
“I like her. She looks like a decent woman.”
“Maybe. She finds out the kind of man I am, she’ll probably run a mile. Wouldn’t blame her.”
“Could be she already knows. She walked in on some pretty gruesome shit.”
“She’s afraid of me,” I grumbled, still upset over her initial opinion of me.
“Most people are. Surely you ain’t surprised?”
Sighing, I took a long gulp from my soda lime. “I don’t want her to be.”
“You know, you’re a fairly decent guy when you ain’t chopping fingers off. Don’t sell yourself short. I think Bunny might just be the woman who can see past shit like that if she was really into someone.”
Scanning the bar, I was disappointed I hadn’t yet clapped eyes on her. “Guess we’ll see, won’t we?”
The room was noisy and dark, but I still nudged closer to Sandir and dipped my head down so my mouth was hidden when I spoke. “How many people have you killed, Sandy?”
“Seven,” he answered without hesitation.
“They keep you awake at night?”
Glancing at me, he took a minute, his tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip. “No, not really.”
“Yosef does.”
“He wasn’t a paedo or a rapist, Yan. He was your brother, of course he’s going to keep you awake at night. You beat yourself up far too much about him, his death wasn’t on you. Fucking bastards playing games.” Those men warranted his indignation because Irina’s father and mine, Lev too, had been playing games. Moving pieces into place they had no business moving, pitting one brother against the other in an effort to come out on top. I was an easier person to bend to will, Yosef the stronger of us and not likely to toe the line like they wanted. All they wanted was a soft touch with the Ischmov name, and they’d settled on me because there was no way Yosef was ever going to sit down, do as he was told and shut the fuck up. He was too greedy, too egotistic, too much my father. My future had been decided without my input long before I’d understood what was going on.
“Clive was neither of those things,” I stated, thinking back to the stupid twit.
“Maybe not, but four million is a fuck ton of cash to try to rob, never mind their betrayal. They both belong where they are.” I hummed at the back of my throat wondering why I found it so difficult to agree. “I know you only have Yosef on your hands, but he was one more than you could cope with. What they demanded of you was cruel, Yan. Cruel.”
I’d never questioned the things Sandir did for me, he did them without pause, never grumbling. “I’m sorry I ask you to do these things for me,” I apologised.
Sandir patted his hand on my thigh and smiled. “You don’t ask anything, forget about it. I exorcise my demons well enough, they don’t keep me awake, and I don’t lose sleep.” He picked up his bottle and took a long pull, then put it back on the table with a clank. “I’d love to know about the Princess though.”
Frowning at him, I asked. “What do you mean? You were there.”
“Yes, and I thought I was going to see the worst of you over those few days. I still don’t get it.”
“She was a product of the games we all play to score our little corner of the empire. Charlie was no different in the way he used people.” I flicked his curiosity away, I didn’t
