“Ah, yeah,” she said, tugging her tank top over her head and stuffing her bra into her bag.
“Why?”
“I need to get home.”
“I’ll drive you.” I didn’t want to drive her anywhere, I wanted her to stay but the vibe she was giving off was positively chilly, her mood no longer buoyant like it had been twenty minutes earlier. Reluctantly, I moved to the side of the bed, thoroughly confused but keenly aware she’d already decided she was leaving.
“No.” It wasn’t quite a yell, her voice an octave higher than usual, not sounding like the woman I’d made gasp and moan in bed before. What the hell was I missing?
I watched in a stupor as she put her feet into her trainers, careful to keep her distance. By the time I stood up to get dressed, she was grabbing for her bag and heading toward the door.
“Jolie.”
“I’m sorry.” With her hand on the door, she looked down at her feet, repeating the apology, then left without so much as the briefest of glances back.
Rushing to dress, I had no idea what to do. Did I chase her? Let her go? What the hell had happened?
Slumping down into the chair, I rubbed the grit from my eyes, suddenly exhausted. Searching around for my phone, I remembered it was still in my pocket, I’d only pulled out my wallet. Utterly bewildered, I powered on the phone, ignoring the umpteen texts and missed calls from Irina, and called Sandir.
Taking a while to answer, I searched for the time and groaned. Before I could hang up, my best friend’s voice rumbled down the line.
“This better be good. I need my goddamn beauty sleep.”
“Apologies, friend.”
“You all right, Yan?” Sandir asked, an edge to his voice. I wasn’t renowned for making early morning calls.
I was being a pussy bitch. A woman had walked out on me after sex. So fucking what? It was nothing to cry to my best friend about. “Yeah. Sorry, I’ll catch you tomorrow.”
“Oh, no. Wait now. Spit it the fuck out, you wouldn’t be calling me over nothing, Yan.”
“I slept with her.”
Sandir remained quiet, then asked. “Who?” Chewing on my lip, I grimaced when I told him. “You silly fucker,” was his prompt reply.
“Yeah.” Because Jolie was more than a hole to shove my dick in. Anyone with two eyes and an ounce of common sense could see Jolie for the diamond she was, and I’d went and royally fucked it all up by jumping straight into bed with her at the first opportunity I’d had.
“Where you at?” He wouldn’t ask for any other details because that wasn’t his way.
“Kensington.”
He sighed. “She took off afterwards?”
“Yup, took a shower, dressed, then walked right on out the door.”
Sandir burst out laughing, the prick. If he’d been in front of me, I would have put his lights out, friend or not. “Well, fuck, Yan. That’s a new one for you, mate.”
Taking a minute to answer because I was spitting with annoyance at him, I eventually told him, “She’s different.”
“You’re just figuring this out now? She is, and there’s the problem. Bunny doesn’t live in the same ugly world we do. Maybe it’s better she walked away, for her sake. And hey, at least you know your cock still knows how to fuck.”
I stuttered a bitter laugh. “It’s not like I didn’t use it, you bloody idiot.”
“Welcome back to the world of pussy, congratulations on getting fucked, mate. Now get off my bloody phone, I want another couple of hours before I have to bow down to my Lord, and you come punch me.”
“Funny.” I rolled my eyes, secretly thankful for the manner in which he took me in hand. Nobody else could piss me off, then make me laugh a breath later the way Sandir could. “Sorry to wake you.”
“Yan.” Seriousness flooded back into his tone. “I’m going to bitch you out, same as you would me, but anytime you need to call, I’m gonna pick up. Always.”
“Same. Night, Sandy.”
Fuck, I was going soft, right? I couldn’t let others see it though, that would be a certifiably crazy thing to do, people with fewer scruples would take advantage. An early grave was not appealing, not now, not ever. I wanted another thirty plus years on this earth at least, Lev’s organisation was not the sum of who I was, Irina was not the woman of my dreams. There was more to life than them. Change was coming. It was probably better Jolie had walked. I wouldn’t forget her in a hurry, she’d be the beacon I strived for when things got too tough, even if I couldn’t be a part of her life like I wanted to be.
Collecting up my jacket, phone and wallet, I took one last look around the room, smiling sadly, then left the hotel walking out into the quiet night air.
Jolie
What had I been thinking?
Doing something I’d never done in my life left me a little discombobulated. I’d slept with a stranger. A man who looked terrible and beautiful all at the same time, yet still a stranger. His untimely confession had freaked me out. Getting away from Yannick was the only thing to cross my mind when those words idly spilled from his mouth like they should not have affected what we’d just shared. The only place I could think to go was the bathroom, into the shower, and it was there that my head went to hell.
I’d wanted him, of course I had, something for me, even if it had meant nothing to him. In the harsh aftermath, being a notch on someone’s belt, a means to get back in the game, didn’t really feel so delightful, and that’s where I’d faltered.
