“Of course, I am,” he snorted at me. “I’ve tried to keep my distance from you for years. Fucking years, Kat. And it was easy when you were strutting around all high and mighty. The bitch. Acting like you were better than everyone else.” His words were filled with anger, maybe even hate.
“I wasn’t,” I insisted, cutting off his diatribe before tears filled my eyes. “I always thought you hated me; guess I wasn’t far off.” I blinked and looked away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he hurt me. More. Of hurting me more.
“I know that’s not who you are, Kat! You were nothing at all like you presented yourself to the world, which only made everything worse. Every fucking thing. How could I resist that smart mouth and those sexy designer clothes you prance around every damn day? You eat like a frat boy, cuss like a sailor and you do it all with the grace of goddamn princess. I didn’t stand a fucking chance.”
I swear, I swooned a little at his sweet words, his compliments, even though I was apparently the only person who was happy about it. But the more I thought about it, I wasn’t happy about this either.
“Yeah well, right back at you, Terry! You think I wanted this? Knowing that heartbreak was certain? Knowing that you would never in a million years choose me? Well I didn’t, but I couldn’t resist you. Not your smile, your laugh, your attention. Your body.” I shook my head and looked away again, threatening every tear gathering behind my eyes with certain death if they fell before I made it back to my car.
“So? Where does that leave us, Terry?”
“Where does it leave us?” His voice was thick with sarcasm. I took a step back at the anger that darkened his blue eyes.
“Just…fuck. Go back to your fucking life, Kat.”
Go back to your fucking life. It was the same as if he’d said, you’re not welcome—or wanted—here.
“So that’s it? Jasper throws a goddamn hissy fit and now that we can actually go public and be together, you tell me to go away?”
I stared at him, looking for any sign, any hint that this wasn’t what he wanted, but I could see the signs of resolve in his squared shoulders, his stick straight spine and the white line of his lips.
“Oh. Okay. Right. I get it now, you’re a fucking coward.”
He said nothing. There was no indication my words had even registered because Terry was done. With me, anyway.
“I love you, Terry, I meant those words when I said them, and I mean them now. I was hoping this was, finally, the start of something good and real for us. I guess I was wrong. Again.”
“You were.”
Ouch. “Yeah, well, fuck you and have a miserable life!”
I walked away with my head held high, my steps slow and deliberate because I refused to run away like a heartbroken little girl. I took my time walking back to the car, and since I didn’t have any place to be, I headed to Mayhem and booked a suite for the next week.
That was where I’d drown my sorrows in expensive alcohol and room service, and then I would put all thoughts of Terry Manning away and get on with the rest of my life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Terry
“I’m an asshole.”
That was my mantra over the past three days, ever since my idiotic blow up with Kat. “Such a fucking asshole.” And according to her, a coward as well.
Kat was right. We both knew it, me in particular, which is why I’d spent the last three days drinking away my sorrows with the curtains drawn and rock music blocking out all thoughts of anything.
Or anyone.
No visitors, no phone calls. No people whatsoever.
The only person I couldn’t seem to shake was Kat and the look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes, watery with tears she was too damn strong to let fall in front of me. It only made me love her more.
“Not that it fucking matters. God, I really am an asshole.”
“You are but we love you anyway.”
The deep voice scared the shit out of me, and I grabbed my piece and aimed it in the direction of the intruder.
“Goddammit, Emmett, I could have shot you.”
Emmett laughed and shook his head. “You’d have to figure which one of me is the right one first. And I’ve been here for five fucking minutes so if I wanted to kill ya, you’d be dead already.”
I lowered the gun with a sigh. “Five minutes, really?”
“Yep. You’re too drunk to be aware of your surroundings, a dangerous habit in your line of work. Wanna tell me why you’re drunk in the middle of the week?”
“No reason. Just taking a sabbatical to figure out…some shit.”
Emmett took in my surroundings. The discarded delivery bags and boxes, the empty bottles and half unpacked grocery bags. He shrugged and took a seat in the chair beside the window, far enough away that I couldn’t just slug him and make him leave.
“Doesn’t look like nothing. Looks like something, a really big something if I had to guess. Plus, you stink.”
He fanned a hand in front of his face just in case I didn’t get the picture.
“Feel free to leave at any time, Em.”
“And miss out on some world class moping from my older brother? Not a fucking chance.” He sighed and looked out the window, trying to wait me out.
“It’s not gonna happen.”
“What?”
I groaned. “You sitting there in silence isn’t gonna get me to talk. Don’t you have fighters to train or something?”
“I do, and I will, but now I’m here. For you.”
That was all he said for a long time, his silence doing fuck all but making me think. About Kat. “I was surprised when I called Jasper to find out why you weren’t answering my calls, and he said you didn’t work for the Ashbys anymore.”
“I don’t.” And I hadn’t heard one fucking word from
