His broad shoulders fell and his light blue eyes turned sad but resigned. “I don’t know. Is it too late, Kat?”
My mouth formed to say the word ‘yes,’ but my heart zipped my lips, willing me not to do something stupid. Something rash.
“Why now, Terry? Why not before I was shot? Why not when I was in the hospital near death?”
“I had some business to take care of,” he admitted. “These are for you.” He shoved the flowers at me like an anxious little boy, as if they would bite.
I eyed the oversized arrangement and the heavy crystal vase that housed them and backed away.
“I can’t carry them. Too heavy. Doctor’s orders.”
Somehow, he’d won the first battle, an unintended invitation into my home, a place he’d steadfastly avoided since I moved in right after college.
“How are you feeling?”
I shook my head. “Don’t act like you care, not now. I wanted you there when I was lying on that table waiting for the anesthesia to kick in, not knowing if I would live or die. I needed you there when I woke up in the middle of the night, screaming in pain. Screaming at the memories that wouldn’t quit. That’s when I needed you, Terry. Not now.”
His blond head bobbed up and down in understanding. “I know and I’m an asshole. Worse, I’m a coward.”
“Definitely an asshole,” I shot back and crossed by arms, but the effect was ruined by the yelp of pain I let out. Okay, can’t be too bitchy just yet.
“Where do you want these?” He nodded at the vase and took a few steps back, his eyes silently pleading with me to follow him.
I did because it was Terry, and what the hell else could I do?
“I’m not sure yet. Why are you here?”
“I love you, Kat. I am in love with you.” His shoulders relaxed completely as the words, totally sincere, left his mouth. “I don’t deserve your love, and I sure as shit don’t deserve a second chance, but that’s why I’m here. To beg you to give me—give us—another chance.”
Hell yes. I went to cross my arms again before my brain reminded me of the blinding pain from moments before.
“Why now? Because you feel guilty that I could’ve died without knowing or because I almost died?”
“Neither. Both.” His lips lifted into an uncertain, vulnerable smile that turned my insides to mush. “Because the few short weeks we had together, they were amazing. Hell, they were the best goddamn weeks of my life, and not just hearing you scream my name and learning what makes you come.”
My heart raced at his words, and if it could have, my belly would have clenched with desire. As it was, his words caused an uncomfortable wetness between my thighs.
“That’s not on the calendar anytime soon. With you or anyone else,” I added because dammit, he’d broken me.
Terry nodded and took a step forward, grabbing my hand and gently guiding me into the living room and back to the sofa.
“Don’t worry Kitty Kat, memories of you have gotten me through the last couple weeks. They can get me through a few more if it means you’ll give me a chance.”
“Why should I, Terry? You chose Jasper over me. You left me. The moment we could have been something great. Something real, you ran.”
“I did. I ran because I’m a coward, because I’ve loved you for so long that I didn’t really believe I could have you. That I could keep you. But,” he sighed and grabbed my hands, kissing each of my knuckles hungrily, like he was afraid it might be the last time he got to touch me. “Those weeks, as great as they were, they weren’t enough. Not for me, and I don’t think they were enough for you either.”
They weren’t. Not by a fucking long shot. “Why now?”
“Because the thought of you dying and those few weeks being all we had together, it fucking pissed me off. It made me realize that if I stopped being a punk ass bitch, I could have years, possibly even decades like those weeks. And I want decades, Kat. I want decades with you so damn bad I can taste it.”
A smile spread across my face at his words, so heartfelt and so difficult for him to say that his cheeks were a deep shade of red.
“And Jasper?”
Terry shrugged. “Fuck him.”
I snorted a laugh of disbelief and he smiled. “That’s quite a turnaround from the last time we spoke.”
“I was wrong. You were right. It isn’t his business, no matter what kind of relationship you or I have with him. This love, this thing that I feel for you, the way you’ve buried yourself under my skin and taken over my heart, it’s bigger and better than anything in this whole fucking world. It’s too important, too special to let anything or anyone get in the way of it. Anyone.”
Holy. Shit. “You really believe that?”
“Damn right I do. The love I have for you, Kat, it shocked the hell out of me. I mean, I’ve always loved you, but when I watched you walk away, so strong and so damn determined not to cry, I realized what I’d lost. What I’d thrown away.” He shook his head, smile bittersweet. “I’m not willing to live my life without you, not if there’s still a chance for us.” His gaze met mine, intense and filled with emotion. “Is there? Still a chance?”
I wanted to say no. wanted to tell him to go to hell for breaking my heart and leaving me so distracted I’d nearly gotten myself killed. But I couldn’t. And I didn’t want to. “How can I turn you away when you’ve owned my heart since I was sixteen?”
“Fifteen,” he corrected. “I still have the note you wrote.”
My eyes went wide. “You do not.”
“Silky locks the color of spun gold. Eyes as blue as the early morning sky.”
He chuckled when I shook my head. “I can
