A small smile picks up the corner of my lips. “So, even if I am positive, and my baby gets it, they will still live a long life?”
Chills winces, her expression falling. “The treatment helps them live longer, but not long, Prinie. The life expectancy for an infant born with HIV is approximately ten years.”
My hand rushes to my mouth as I glance at Wraith.
He’s shattered.
Chills reaches out, grabbing my hand. “The thing is, though, Prinie, you might not even spread it to the baby when it’s born. Your child could be completely virus-free, but in saying that, you can also spread the virus through breast milk, so even if the baby makes it through childbirth without contracting the virus, you can’t breastfeed if you test positive.”
Grief overwhelms me as tears slowly trickle down my face. “Should I…” I stutter. “Should I… not have this baby?”
“What?” Wraith gasps.
Chills raises her hands. “I wouldn’t go making any rash decisions just yet. All your tests so far have come back clean. You might be pulling the trigger when there’s nothing to run from. You hear what I’m saying, Prinie?”
“But in six months when the last tests come back, it will be too late. I’ll be six months pregnant.”
“Yes, but wouldn’t you rather take the chance on you coming through this clean with a healthy baby than coming through it clean and knowing you gave up too soon? But, of course, that’s a decision for you and Wraith to talk over. Don’t let me sway you either way. I just want you to think this through clearly, and for me to give you all the details you need to make an informed decision.”
“We definitely need to talk this over,” Wraith instructs. “And you need to have some more bloodwork done for confirmation before we make any grand plans.”
Wraith’s trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what.
“When can you fit me in, Chills?”
She walks over to her closet grabbing some clothing. “Meet me downstairs in ten. We’ll go to the hospital now.”
We both head out of Chills’ room to wait downstairs.
Chains is already down here with Kobe, and the club girls are getting a start on the morning’s activities.
As I pace the floor waiting, Wraith reaches out grabbing my arm to stop me. “Did you mean what you said?”
My muscles squeeze together as I wallow in his hurt eyes. “I… I just want to do the right thing.”
“By who?”
I scowl. “The baby, Wraith. I don’t want it to be born with some horrible disease that I give it, only for our child to die by the age of ten.”
“But what if you are fine! What if we do this, then at six months you’re cleared, and this is the only chance we have at our happy f-family?” His voice breaks at the end.
It’s clear this is cutting him up.
He wants our child more than anything.
I rush forward pulling him to me. “Why can’t things ever be straight-forward and easy with us?”
His hands smooth over my hair. “The hardest times are sent to those who overcome the biggest hurdles. They’re sent to try us, to let us know when we fight we will still come out on top, that we’re worth fighting for. And, princess, we’re fucking worth fighting for. Every single moment has led to this!”
Tears well in my eyes as I stare up at him. There’s so much love and adoration pouring out from his very soul. “Who knew under all that stone was a heart of gold?”
He leans down, pressing his lips to mine softly. I needed this. I kiss him back as I hear soft footsteps approaching.
“Sorry to break this up, but we should get going. If you still wanna do this?” Chills softly mentions beside us.
I pull back from Wraith.
Somehow, someway, he’s made me feel okay about this. I don’t know how he managed to calm my racing thoughts, but that’s the magic and madness of my old man. He simply gets me. Understands what I need in the moment I need it. Even when I don’t know what that is.
“C’mon, let’s go do this,” I tell him.
We link our hands together, walking with Chills out toward her car.
Time to find out if we’re having a baby.
Wraith and I hung around the hospital while Chills did her doctor thing. It was hard to sit and wait knowing so much was up in the air. If I had a life growing inside of me, it would change the path Wraith and my relationship was taking forever. Sure, I was already his Old Lady, but sitting there in the hospital, I had no idea whether we would be leaving as parents or just another couple with their hopes dashed.
Chills finally came out and gave us the news.
We are pregnant.
Without a doubt.
The car ride home was filled with all the questions we could ask and all our options.
Chills was there to guide us, and in the end, there was only one choice we felt we could make.
We are keeping the baby.
My tests so far are clean. The chances of Sava having any catastrophic diseases aren’t massively high. He looked the picture of health before he was killed, so the odds are in my favor. Chills is going to do some digging, see if she can source his medical records somehow to speed the process along. If she can see his medical history, it might help put our minds at ease.
Until then, she told me to keep my stress to a minimum. She gave me all the necessary vitamins and all the instructions I needed.
As I place them on the counter in my bedroom, I take in a deep centering breath.
Wraith turns
