This time when I arrived, I didn't hide behind the open car door. I stood and took a deep breath, inhaling the warm mountain air, which promised to turn into a hot June day in no time.
Five steps, and I had the back of the car open. When I sat down, I was proud of myself for not letting the butterflies overwhelm me. The other thing I promised myself last night as I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling was that I going to woman up and ask the man to Connor and Sylvia's wedding.
Not right away or anything, because the truth was that I knew very little about Andrew. It simplified things in my head to think of him by the name he went by at PT. Cupcake Guy was no longer in the building as soon as he realized I was his client.
What was it with the bakery anyway? It like, shot out some weird Jocelyn pheromones or something. First Andrew buying me the cupcake, then Levi showing up with his ridiculous box of flours. He'd waited for me the day before as promised, after taking Nero to the park and running some of his energy out. There was no more mention of the box, or the movie, and when he asked if I wanted to take Nero on a hike down one of my favorite paths, I agreed.
For some reason, once I was inside those walls, I was a different person. And I needed to figure out how to bring that person out of the Donner Bakery kitchen.
As I wheeled up to the door, I could feel someone's eyes on me, so instead of hitting the button, I yanked the door open with my left hand and pivoted my chair so that I was able to hold the door open for myself.
Andrew was behind the main desk, smiling at something in his hand.
"Good morning," he said without looking up.
"Morning."
The office was empty, which was a little unusual for the morning. His smile was friendly when he aimed it at me. "Ready to work?"
"I guess so."
He hooked a thumb over one broad shoulder, and I saw a long ramp set at an angle up against the wall. "You'll love this."
I scrunched my nose at it. "I almost don't dare ask."
Andrew laughed when he set the clipboard down and came around the corner. "We need to start building your glute and quad strength. You have more muscle atrophy than I'd like to see at this point."
My cheeks were hot when I looked back at the ramp. "Yeah, it's just … easier to use my chair."
He nodded like he expected my answer. Just as he had the last time, he snagged a stool and sat on it. Now he was eye level with me, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from the veins mapping the top of his hands and arms.
Very nice vein action.
"What'd you like to do before you got sick?" he asked.
"Walk," I said dryly, which made him laugh. Then I groaned. "You probably want a real answer, huh?"
"That's a real answer, but yes."
"I was a runner. A basketball player. Volleyball in the summers. I didn't spend much time just sitting around, that's for sure." I waved a hand over my legs. "So this was an interesting transition to get used to."
He looked pointedly at my arms. "It's obvious you still don't like to just sit around."
"No," I said feelingly. "I don't."
Andrew crossed one of his legs over the other and pinned me with a serious look. "So tell me why you're not taking care of your legs too. You clearly spend time in the gym."
Okay. These weren't date feelings. These were 'how 'bout you stop interrogating me' feelings. Suddenly, I missed Denise.
No, that was a lie.
I heard Levi's voice in my head, saying I needed someone to push me. And I thought of the times over the past few months when he'd asked if I wanted to go with him to the gym, and I'd said no.
Trying to think about how to answer him in a way that made sense, I shook my head for a moment. "I'm a bit of a perfectionist," I started. "And I'll never walk smoothly again. I will always look clumsy when I do it. A little ungainly. Everyone around me will hold their breath because they'll be afraid that one wrong foot placement will have me down on the pavement. I hate that feeling. I've gotten used to the way people look at me while I'm in this chair." I shook my head and swallowed audibly. "And that was hard enough. This feels like a much bigger mountain to climb, for some reason."
It was the most honest I'd been with anyone about this outside of Levi. Andrew leaned forward and held my eyes. "You aren't wrong about any of that, Jocelyn. They will watch you that way because they love you, not because they don't believe in your ability to do it."
I blinked away, staring at the ramp like it had morphed into every symbolic thing I hated about this situation.
"Come on," he said, standing from the stool. "Let's go climb up that mountain. Literally."
"What do you mean?" I followed him over, locking my chair into place when he stopped at the base of the ramp.
"You're going to crawl up this ramp."
I huffed out a disbelieving laugh. "Oh goody, for a second I thought you'd really make me embarrass myself."
He smiled. "Come on. Up you go, Abernathy."
And that asshole really did make me crawl.
Underneath the patient instructions, calm encouragement, and educational pedigree that assured me he knew what he
