“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. What kind of girl are you anyway? Do you think you can have two guys at the same time?”
I stared at him, speechless, and swiped at the tears falling faster than I could catch them.
“Well, you can’t,” he said, answering his question before I had a chance.
“I’m sorry,” I half-spoke, half-sobbed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Things just got screwed up.”
“Well, I’ll fix it for you. We’re done. Over. Finito.” He started toward the restaurant.
“Pete, no! Please!” I lunged forward, grabbing his arm. “I don’t want to break up. I want to be with you.”
“It doesn’t sound like it to me.” He jerked his arm away.
“Please, let’s work this out.”
“You lied to me, and you want to be with that jerk of all jerks. You deserve each other.” With that, he turned and stalked back into the pizza parlor, leaving me standing on the sidewalk.
I wavered, debating whether to go back inside. Instead, I staggered in the direction of home, my vision blurred by my incessant gushing tears. I didn’t live far, but my parents would be furious if I walked alone through Montclair at night. I didn’t care. Fleeing was my only option.
I made it to Lucky’s grocery store before Mrs. O’Reilly pulled up. I got in her car as instructed, wiping my face with the napkins she handed me.
“What happened?” she said.
“Pete broke up with me.” Saying this out loud ignited a fresh round of sobs.
Mrs. O’Reilly put her arms around me, murmuring soothing words. More tears flowed.
I pulled away, struggling to collect myself. I dabbed my face with more napkins, my chest heaving as I regained my breath.
“I like Pete. I don’t want to break up.”
“He really likes you, too. He’s just angry right now. Take it from an older woman, these things have a way of working themselves out.” She smiled, nodding her head for emphasis.
“I don’t think things are gonna work out this time.”
Mrs. O’Reilly patted my hand. “Boys are…well, boys. And Pete’s not thinking straight, honey. They can’t when they’re mad. He’ll probably be groveling on your doorstep tomorrow. You wait and see.”
I doubted it, but appreciated her attempt to soothe me. She put the car in drive and minutes later, pulled up to my house and gave me a hug. “You take care, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Mrs. O’Reilly.”
I managed to shuffle past my mom and dad, pretending everything was fine, and went straight to my room. I flopped on my bed and sobbed quietly into my pillow—no need to alarm or summon my parents. Over and over, the same thoughts churned: You’re an idiot. How could you have blown it with Pete?
I sat up, blotted my face and unearthed my journal from its hiding place behind the headboard.
This may go down as the worst day of my life EVER. Pete has broken up with me and I’m devastated. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop crying. I AM SUCH A MORON! Why did I tell him I liked Alec? Why didn’t I just tell Alec to leave me alone? For the record, I did, but then I let him keep calling me. Ugh! No excuses! I let him think he could try. Everything was fine with Pete until Alec came along...and now Pete will never forgive me. He thinks I’m some kind of slut or something! And I’m not!!! I’m nice. Aren’t I? I don’t know how I’m going to survive this. I hella screwed up, and I feel SO alone.
The phone rang, and I prayed it was Pete, calling to say we would work things out.
“What happened to you?” Alec, of course. “Why didn’t you come back?”
I stifled another sob. “Pete broke up with me. I’m sure that news will make you deliriously happy.”
“He what? Why?”
I paused. This was the tricky part, but I came clean, honesty being my new policy. “Because of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He could tell you liked me, and I didn’t lie about you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I told him you’d been calling me.”
“If he broke up with you for that, he’s a bigger idiot than I thought.”
I smiled, just a little. “He asked me if I liked you…” I said, unable to finish my sentence.
“And?”
“And he didn’t like my answer.”
Alec whistled. “Are you admitting you like me, Anna?”
I panicked, not ready for this conversation—why had I even answered the phone? “Look, I’m really upset. Can we talk later?”
“Just answer my question, please. Don’t leave me hangin’.”
“Fine. I told him yes. I told him I liked you both. Happy?”
“Maybe the happiest guy on the planet. And you will be, too. Just wait and see. I’m going to treat you like the princess you are.”
I smiled again despite my grief. He laid the compliments on thick. “What makes you think I’ll be yours?”
“You’ll be mine alright. You already are. And I’ll be taking you to the Homecoming Dance, so consider yourself unavailable should other boys come sniffing around.”
“Alec, this is too much right now.”
“Alright, gorgeous. Wipe those tears, now. He’s not worth it.”
We hung up, and I straddled the chasm between Heaven and Hell until I cried myself to sleep.
8
Surrender
Pete ignored me at school. His friends were reserved, unsure what to do or say. It stung, and every time we crossed paths, pain pierced my heart. I missed the world Pete and I shared, but what kind of guy acted like this? How could he treat me this way? It’s not like I cheated on him. I told him the truth about my feelings and
