The phone rang and I answered it mid-sentence.
“Why do you think you’re so good at that?” Speak of the devil. Pete!
I willed my heart to slow down as I sat up, rearranging myself to lean against my pillows. “At what?”
“Cheerleading.” I loved his voice—smooth, mid-toned, teasing.
“I’m not sure. It comes naturally, for being totally unnatural.” Mindlessly, I moved my right arm out and to the left, practicing one of our moves.
“I don’t know. People walk around with their arms straight up in the air all the time, chanting things.”
I laughed. “Right. You might remember, I’m also pretty loud.”
“It’s hard to forget.”
“You really think I’ll make it?”
“Damn sure. I wasn’t kidding earlier. A lot of those girls aren’t getting it.”
“Michelle struggles. She’s just not coordinated.” I pictured her arms flapping around.
“She’s one of the worst.” Pete chuckled.
“Stop laughing. It’s so not funny. She’s going to be hella upset if she doesn’t make the squad.” I wound the phone cord around my finger.
“Anna, she’s not gonna make it.”
I didn’t argue, picturing Michelle’s sad face and pushing the image from my mind.
“What are you doing Friday night?”
Oh my god. Was he asking me out? Stay calm. Breathe.
“Hello?”
Speak, Anna. “Sorry. Um, nothing. Why?”
“A bunch of us are going to see Dawn of the Dead. Want to come?”
I was up and pacing now, my bare feet sinking into the carpet with every step. My Princess phone followed, thanks to an extra long cord. “The zombie movie?”
“None other.”
Although not a fan of flicks featuring the creepy undead, he could ask me to anything and I would say yes. “Okay, but it will probably be stupid.”
“And that’s why we’re going.”
“Can I ask you something?” More pacing. Find the guts, Anna.
“Sure.”
“Are you asking me to go with you, like a date, or just as friends?”
He paused. My heart fluttered erratically. I paced some more, waiting for his response.
“Just friends…but maybe we could be more again. I never stopped liking you.”
My heart filled my throat. He still liked me!
“Cat got your tongue?” He laughed.
“It’s just, you were pretty mean to me for a while, so I’m surprised, that’s all.” And happy, happy, happy!
“You pissed me off. And then you started dating that jerk.”
I sat on bed, the water sloshing underneath me. “You were right about him one hundred percent. More, actually.” I so did not need to think about Alec ever again. A memory flashed of him grinning at me in his room right before he raped me. I shook my head and clenched a fist to dissolve it.
“It took me a while to cool off.”
Deep breath. “And now you are?”
“Totally jake.”
“Jake?”
“That means cool. You familiar with Jake Lamotta?”
“Who?”
Pete sighed out loud. “You’re hopeless. Jake Lamotta was a badass boxer. Known for being good under pressure, people started saying everything was jake. Comprende?”
“I think so. What we were talking about?”
“That everything’s jake between us.”
“That makes me happy,” I said. “And I mean that.”
“I don’t think I could sleep tonight if you were unhappy,” he said with his token sarcasm.
I smiled.
We said goodnight, and I jumped up and galloped around my room. He still liked me! Even though he said we were just friends, he also said maybe we could be more. In my fragile heart, it all rang true. We could be more.
16
Tryouts
The day of cheerleader tryouts arrived. My hands shook as I packed my outfit into my backpack. Paired as tryout partners, Michelle and I purchased matching outfits consisting of white shorts with a red stripe along the sides and a crimson tank top. I zipped my bulging pack closed.
“I’ll be there, honey,” my mom said, pouring herself another cup of coffee. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m nervous. What if I forget the words to my cheer? What if I screw up the moves?” I finished my orange juice, but couldn’t choke down any food.
“You’ll do fine. God will guide you.”
I tapped my foot in a staccato rhythm against the linoleum floor. “I don’t want to look like a lame-o. Half the school will be watching.”
My mother cocked her head and gazed at me adoringly. “You couldn’t look like one if you tried. You’re lovely, dear.”
“You have to say that. You’re my mother.” I rose to put my glass in the dishwasher.
She stood, holding me at arm’s length. “I don’t have to do any such thing. I think you’re special, and you have practiced your heart out. You’re going to be great.”
“That’s what Pete said, too.”
“Maybe that boy is smarter than I thought.”
“Mom!”
“I’m teasing. Go finish getting ready.” She picked up her coffee, and I headed for my room.
“And Anna?”
I turned.
“Knock ’em dead.”
My classes dragged on, and the more I checked the clock, the slower it ticked, I swear. By the time the bell rang at the end of the day, I practically leaped out of my skin. Maybe the adrenaline would work to my advantage and make me jump higher. I changed in the girls’ bathroom and hurried to the auditorium, where students, parents and faculty milled around. Directly below the stage, two long tables with chairs were reserved for the judges, and several rows of seats behind them were roped off, set aside for contestants. I spied Michelle, who motioned to me to join
