After a bumpy ride, we arrived at Reese’s house. His dad and girlfriend were still out—maybe having their own enchanted evening—and we followed Reese upstairs to his bedroom, where he closed the door.
He flicked on his turntable and music filled the room. Pete lit a joint, calling it “the most unbelievable Thai stick he’d ever smoked,” and passed it around.
Reese opened a bottle of champagne, which he poured into four water glasses. “May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.”
This was it. My prom. Sitting on the floor of Reese’s bedroom, my gown ripped and wrinkling with every passing minute, drinking and getting high.
Reese turned out the lights and told us to make ourselves at home. Great.
Jaime’s soft moans and the sloshing of the waterbed knocking into the baseboard transmitted that she and Reese were having sex. Right in the same room as us! Gross. Even Reese’s expensive speakers couldn’t drown that out.
Pete chuckled and whispered, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” He leaned over, kissed my neck and began fondling me through my dress. Inwardly I recoiled, revolted by the idea of having sex in the same room as our friends. He kept pushing, murmuring I should relax as the music blared, lyrics burning into my brain.
I hear you crying in the night, So stop putting up a fight
I’m knocking on your door baby, and where I’ll take you is outta sight
A tear slid down my cheek as Pete hiked my dress up and tugged off my underwear. Rough strands of tacky shag carpeting scratched my backside. He hovered over me for a second before entering me.
Ain’t no pain because I need you, and you want to see it through
I need all your loving, and won’t stop until you say I do
I desperately needed Pete’s love, but this resembled cheap, seedy sex in some rundown Oakland motel. My arms robotically encircled his back as I tried to obliterate the noises coming from the bed. They only got louder. Why was Jaime moaning so loud? Wasn’t she self-conscious, or was I some kind of super square?
Stop thinking so hard honey, and open yourself up to me
You can run but you can’t hide, cause I’m here to make you see
Everything turned murky. My head reeled. In the dark, I couldn’t make out Pete’s features clearly. I focused on his face, but the stereo components offered the only light in the room, and his eyes recessed into shadows, taking on a menacing quality. He smiled down at me, his lips curling into a cruel grin. I shut my eyes tightly as sweat blanketed my body. Pete’s mouth crashed down on mine, stifling my urge to scream.
I’m the only one for you and you know it to be true
So let me take you to the top baby, and stop acting so blue
I kept my eyes closed, willing everything to cease: Pete (or whoever he was), the haunting music, Reese and Jaime’s groans, and the terrible panicky feeling consuming me. Please, God, get me out of here.
31
Easy Come, Easy Go
I felt like myself the day after prom. Not in terms of my normal innate sense of happiness—I hated how my not-so-enchanted-evening went—but physically, I went from creeped out to chilled out. I guess pot and champagne didn’t mix well and I swore to steer clear of the combination in the future.
The heaviness in my heart wasn’t as easy to fix. I couldn’t ignore chinks in my knight’s armor, and particles of doubt wriggled their way into my mind.
Despite my despondency, I agreed to meet Pete and our friends at The Pyramid that afternoon, one of our hangouts in Joaquin Miller Park. The intention, as always, was to barbecue since the site contained picnic tables and a grill, but often the only thing we had to cook was beer.
I pulled up in the Volvo, still enthralled with driving on my own, and parked next to the other cars.
“Paisano, please tell me you brought some chow!” Jim yelled.
“I have a bag of Doritos. Want some?”
“You’re an angel. I’m starving! These losers were supposed to bring burgers but—”
“All that’s here is Budweiser?”
He feigned surprise. “How did you know?”
I grabbed the chips and tossed them to Jim as I walked down to the picnic area. He plowed into the bag like he hadn’t seen food in weeks.
“Slow down, Jimbo, or you’re going to choke,” I said.
He stared at me, grinning, and his eyes widened. He pointed and said, “Oh, shit!”
I swiveled around just in time to see the Volvo begin its slow decent down the slope toward us. My mouth dropped as I ran to the car, but didn’t get there until it crashed into a wooden barrier.
I dropped to the ground in a squat, my head falling into my hands. My heart thumped with gusto then sank into the abyss of the unknown.
Tears threatened, but I blinked them away and stood up to assess the damage. There was a huge dent in the front grille. I spotted the culprit: I had not fully depressed the emergency brake, and when I fetched the chips, it must have jiggled it loose further. The car was in neutral and without the brake fully engaged, it rolled. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
My friends gathered around the car. The guys burst out laughing.
“Shut up, you assholes!” I shrieked. “Don’t you realize how much trouble I’m going to get in? My parents are going to have a cow!” Several cows.
“Anna, come on, you have to admit, that was funny!” said Reese.
“You won’t think so when I’m dead.”
Pete put his arm around my shoulders. “Things could have been
