And she’ll feel better about agreeing to this shit show charade if she explicitly refuses first.
She finally glances down at the document, and it looks like she kind of wants to laugh, but she can’t. “You want me to acknowledge that this discreet, temporary, simulated consensual romantic relationship during nonworking hours will not interfere with Sentinel’s company policy of teamwork and a harmonious work environment.”
God, I love it when she recites the terms I’ve written.
“I do.”
“And you want me to acknowledge that the discreet, temporary, simulated consensual romantic relationship is not a misuse of your authority over me as an employee and thus cannot be perceived as favoritism or sexual harassment.”
“Do you require further clarification of the terms?”
“I require a blunt object, followed by a stiff drink.”
“I’d be happy to wait for you to consume one stiff drink before proceeding with this discussion.”
“I think I’d be happier if you had come here to murder me.”
“Aww, Coop. I’d never do that. I like having you around.”
“You like bossing me around.” She slides the piece of paper away.
“Not half as much as you like bossing me around.” I wink. “And I don’t mind it either. You’ve been an ideal executive assistant and partner at work. Which is why I think you’d be the most tolerable option as a date right now.”
She blows out a laugh. “Wow. I mean, I can handle the wink, Mr. Cannavale. But I really start to tremble when you lay the sweet talk on that thick.” She gets up from the table and starts pacing around.
I have conflicting emotions about this because now I can see her ass in those jeans, and I’m trying to make this agreement appear as safe and unsexy as possible. But I want to spank that ass. In a very sexy way.
It’s problematic.
“This is not a compromise,” she continues. “You just want me to work with you in an alternate manner, in alternate locations. I would be spending just as much time with you as I would if I had to work at the office through Christmas.”
“It wouldn’t be work. It might actually be fun for you. I mean, it will be a nonstop living hell for me, but you’ll probably find my family very entertaining.”
“I’m not going to find your family anything. What makes you think I’d actually agree to any of this?”
I angle the chair so I can face her, spreading my legs apart and leaning forward. “Maddie. You sound angry,” I say in a kind voice.
“Don’t you attempt to present yourself with open and understanding body language. Don’t label my emotions in an attempt to dissipate them. You think I don’t know every negotiation tactic ever invented? You’re trying to turn me into some kind of escort.”
I am so glad she didn’t fall for that.
“Not a professional escort—I have no intention of paying you for your company. I will, however, pay for all travel, food, and accommodations. Although, of course you will be the one to arrange all of it. I will pay for these things with money, and I will pay for them by tolerating your glares and sarcasm, as always.” I give her a cute little blink and a dimpled smile.
She’s not falling for it.
Good.
“Uh-huh.” She stomps over, leans over the table, and points at the document. She’s wearing her hair long and wild today, and my hands should be all up in there. “What is this clause you’ve initialed here? That you agree to not sue or terminate my services in the event that I should attempt or successfully manage to seduce you? Exactly how drunk were you when you typed this up?”
“I was sober enough to remember the very important bargaining tactic known in the legal community as ‘tit for tat.’ You’ll see that I have also included here that you too will agree not to sue me or quit in the event that you should attempt or successfully manage to seduce me.”
“Did you just use the word ‘tit’ while discussing my hypothetical attempts at seducing you? What is wrong with you?”
“Very little. When discussing nonwork relationships with women, I find it best to be up-front about things. It would be foolish to deny the fact that we’re both attractive, single individuals. In legal terms, we are what’s known as hot as fuck. This will be an isolated period of time in which we’ll be interacting with each other in more casual environments than we’re accustomed to. You might accidentally drink spiked eggnog and get a little frisky.”
“I hate eggnog,” she hisses.
“You also claim to hate me, and I’m not refuting that. But it’s the holidays. The holidays stir up feelings in everyone. It’s inevitable. To be clear—I am not saying this has to happen. I’m acknowledging the potential for these circumstances. There will be alcohol. You’ll be seeing me in a new context, and chances are good that you’ll want to have sex with me. And I, for one, do not wish for such circumstances to result in the end of our working relationship if they should occur once or several times.”
“Are you saying there’s no chance that you’ll want to have sex with me due to these hypothetical circumstances?”
“I am definitely not saying that. I wouldn’t say that. But until you sign this, I won’t say that I want to.”
She shakes her head, and there’s so much anger and adrenaline coursing through her veins that I’m pretty sure she could flip me and this table over right now. But I just want to bend her over it. “Fucking lawyers.”
“Fucking right. I like having you as my assistant, Cooper. But I need you to accompany me to these family events. And I want to minimize the potential impact on our ability to work together. That is why I require a signed agreement stating that we will not let this interfere with our
