I put my jacket on and cross my arms in front of my chest too. “Let’s negotiate right now. Shared meals in private—in bed or out of it—are on the table.”
“Agreed. Private serenading of Christmas carols—on the table.”
“Enh. I’ve heard you sing, and I’m going to have to pass.”
“Screw you.”
“Absolutely. On the table… Under the table…”
Eye roll. “Naked dance parties—on the table.”
“Agreed.”
“Christmas presents are off the table.”
“Unacceptable.”
“It’s too much pressure. There will be no exchanging of Christmas gifts.”
“Fine.”
“Sleepovers are off the table.”
“Disagree. Convince me otherwise.”
She starts to say something and then snaps her mouth shut. Her eyes are a little watery, and she looks so vulnerable again. And I’m falling for her again, just a little.
“I just don’t think we should, Declan. You know why.”
I do. I know why, and I want her in my bed all night anyway. But I don’t want her to feel vulnerable. “Yeah. Agreed.”
There’s a flash of something in her eyes, and it may be disappointment. But she nods once and sighs. “Great. Guess that covers everything, right? Probably not necessary to mention, however—butt stuff—off the table.”
I hold a hand up to protest.
“Let’s just get through Christmas Eve dinner and revisit this later.”
I sigh and lower my hand. “Agreed.”
“So how many other girlfriends have you introduced to your family?” she asks with a sing-song voice. So innocent. So unaware.
And I’m finally going to have to make her aware of the thing that I haven’t wanted to talk about, with her or anyone else.
“Just one,” I tell her. “Just one.”
Chapter Twenty
DECLAN: Where are you?
DECLAN: Maddie. Seriously. Are you in your room? Open the door.
DECLAN: You can’t just leave like that. Are you still coming to my parents’ house or not?
MADDIE: Calm down. I’m in the lobby gift shop.
DECLAN: Why?
MADDIE: Because I need to bring a gift for your parents.
DECLAN: They won’t expect one. Trust me. You don’t have to do that.
MADDIE: I need to bring something for your parents.
MADDIE: And I need to be alone so I can process this. I can’t believe you dropped this bomb on me right before I meet everyone.
DECLAN: My dad taught all of us to swim by dropping us into a pool. But he was always right there to make sure we didn’t drown. I’m here if you want to talk. But I’ve known about it for half a year, and being alone all that time hasn’t helped me to process it. At all.
MADDIE: Declan. I’m really sorry that your significant ex is marrying your brother. I’m sad for you. I don’t want to make this all about me. BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO COME WITH YOU AND YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THEY’D BE THERE TODAY WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!! <face with rolling eyes emoji> <swearing face emoji> <woman face-palming emoji>
MADDIE: Sorry for text-yelling. This is why I didn’t want to be in the same room with you.
DECLAN: I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think it would be a shitty stressful occasion. I mean, all family holiday dinners are, but I didn’t want you to worry about it.
MADDIE: Thanks for dropping me in the deep end of the pool with no floaties, boss.
DECLAN: Anytime, Cooper. Always looking for fresh new ways to infuriate you.
MADDIE: Okay, I know it’s dumb to ask you this in a text. But I don’t think I can handle seeing your face right now… Are you still in love with her? With Hannah?
DECLAN: No. I’m not, Maddie. We were off and on for the last few years. I got her to move out to New York with me a year and a half ago. She broke up with me after last Christmas and moved home because I didn’t spend enough time with her.
MADDIE: When was the last time you talked to her or your brother?
DECLAN: Haven’t talked to Brady since he called to tell me they were engaged. Around half a year ago. Haven’t talked to her since I found out.
MADDIE: Did she try to get in touch with you?
DECLAN: Yes.
MADDIE: Declan! So you’re still mad at both of them? Are you going to make a scene?
DECLAN: I don’t make scenes, Cooper. I solve problems. Sometimes I solve problems by avoiding them. I know this may shock you, but I’m not perfect. And I’m not as mad about anything when I’m with you. Which is why I wanted you around. Sorry if that was selfish of me.
DECLAN: Anything else?
MADDIE: <crying face emoji> Everything else, Declan. Everything else. Also, do you think your parents would like a pair of shot glasses with the Cleveland skyline etched onto them? They’re sort of pretty.
DECLAN: I’m coming downstairs to kiss you now. <nerd face emoji>
Twenty-One
Declan
HAVE A JOLLY CANNAVALE CHRISTMAS
“You grew up in this house?” Maddie asks as the cab drives off and we walk, hand-in-hand, up the long driveway.
They’ve got the usual Christmas lights up. Clear white around the roof because my nonna insists colored lights are ostentatious. Colored lights around the covered porch because my ma thinks white lights are boring. It doesn’t look like Aiden and Brady are here yet, so I breathe easier. “Yeah. They don’t need a house this big anymore, but my dad refuses to move.”
“Stubborn?”
“Secretly sentimental, I think.”
I can feel her soft gaze on me as I stare up at the house.
She squeezes my hand, reassuring me when I’m the one who should be reassuring her. I’m an asshole for not telling her about Brady and Hannah sooner, but I didn’t want her to come because she felt sorry for me. I just wanted her to be here. With me.
“It’s a nice house,” she says. “Seems like a nice, quiet neighborhood.”
“Yeah, well. We’ll see how you feel about that when you’re inside with my family.”
She guffaws. “You clearly have never been to Christmas dinner with my extended family on Staten Island.
