When I glance up at her, she isn’t smirking and she isn’t smiling. She isn’t staring at me with heavy-lidded eyes and heaving breasts. She isn’t even frowning at me in that way that makes me want to tug on her hair and really give her something to frown about. She isn’t doing any of the things I like to see her do in response to me. She’s frowning at me in an entirely new way that I don’t like at all. I know that frown. I’ve seen that frown on another woman’s face, and the words that come out of that frowny mouth next are never good.
“You okay?”
It takes her a moment, but she snaps out of her unpleasant musing and answers, “Yeah. Let me know when you’re ready to roll calls. I’m just going through the Hamptons contract for you right now.” And with that, she leaves my office and shuts the door. One second later, she opens the door again. “Sorry, did you want this open or closed?”
“Open.”
“Right.” She goes back to her desk and doesn’t look over at me once she sits down.
Which is probably fine.
Either that or it’s terrible.
I mean, I did tell her we wouldn’t be discussing our extracurricular activities at the office.
And I don’t have time to wonder what’s up, because of the shit-ton of calls and emails and the half a shit-ton of contracts I have to go over before we leave for Cleveland. Maddie knows this better than anyone. Which is why she’s leaving me alone to let me work instead of getting into a discussion about her feelings. Which is why she’s the best assistant I’ve ever had. Which is why I don’t want to lose her.
* * *
After a few hours of powering through the most urgent calls and emails and skimming through a few contracts, I get up to stretch my legs. Standing just inside my doorway, I wait for Maddie to look up from her computer monitor. She doesn’t seem to be typing or reading. She’s just staring ahead.
“Should we order lunch?” I ask, startling her.
She contemplates this for an excruciatingly long time, like I’ve asked her if she ever wants to eat lunch again for the rest of her life. “Hang on,” she finally says. She stands up and rounds her desk, heading toward me. She gestures for me to step aside, walks into my office, and shuts the door.
“Well now. I wasn’t talking about ordering that kind of lunch, but let me close the blinds…”
She sighs, a long, sad sigh.
“Dec. I’ve been thinking about this a lot for the past couple of days, and I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
And there it is. The other shoe.
Most days, I’m beyond grateful to have the mind of a legal professional. Most of the time it keeps me out of trouble because I’m always thinking ahead, looking at things from every possible angle. I wish I could say that I didn’t see this coming, and I wish I could say that I hadn’t planned a response for it. But I did, and I have.
Here we go…
Thirty-One
Maddie
YOUR NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
Declan studies my face for about a year, and I can’t for the life of me read his expression.
Fucking lawyers.
I’m finally ready to have an actual discussion about my real feelings and what I want, but I can see the wheels turning in his head. He’s going to present his closing arguments to the jury. I’m about to get run over by the attorney train.
He crosses his arms in front of his chest and says, “Yeah, I know. Too good to be true, right? Just a matter of time before things get complicated.”
“Declan…I just can’t—”
He cuts me off and starts pacing back and forth. “No, I get it, you’re right. Let’s stay ahead of this. The whole point of that document was to ensure that we don’t let this interfere with our work and our dynamic here at Sentinel.”
“Exactly.”
“Exactly. So as long as you aren’t planning to sue me for sexual harassment, then we’re good.”
I scoff and roll my eyes, shaking my head. The usual response to his baloney general counsel personality, but Jesus that stings. “Is that really all you’re worried about right now?”
“I’d like a verbal reaffirmation that you won’t be taking this up with HR, Maddie.”
“I won’t be taking it up with HR, Declan. But I would like to shove that document up your—"
“Don’t worry, I won’t force you to come to the office while I’m attending the rest of my family events alone. So you’ll have nothing to complain about.”
“Hah! Beg to differ.”
His eyes, usually an intoxicating warm shade of whiskey brown, are now iced black coffee. The kind that give you a headache and diarrhea. The kind that you eagerly consume for a sudden burst of energy and then causes you to question all of your life choices when you crash and burn. I can’t look at him.
Declan Cannavale has always made my blood boil for a variety of reasons, but now that there’s love in my heart, I don’t know if it can handle this. Apparently the secret to being his assistant and dealing with his bullshit was believing that there was nothing to him besides the bullshit. Even now, all I see is the guy who sat on my aunt’s sofa watching a romantic comedy with my dad. I don’t think I can stand Office Declan anymore.
“I’ll just go to Cleveland by myself tomorrow, then. Do you have any requests as to what kind of lie I should tell my family regarding the reason for your absence? Fear of flying? Food poisoning? Or should I just tell them we broke up?”
I whip around
