There’s a bit of murmuring, and a hush falls over the room.
“I don’t mean to bring this up in a weird way,” I assure the guests. “As some or all of you may know, Hannah and I dated on and off for a very long time. And as some or all of you may know, I was not the world’s greatest boyfriend. I wasn’t the worst—but I wasn’t the great guy she deserved. Brady told me that he’d had a crush on her ever since the first time I brought her home for Thanksgiving. That was over a decade ago. That’s a long time to sustain a crush. But he said he knew he was in love with her when he found out she’d left me and moved back to Cleveland, and his first instinct was to call her and not me. He said he talked himself out of calling her right away. But for the next week, she was all he could think about. And then, seemingly out of the blue, Hannah sent him a message on Facebook. She asked him the name of the book he’d mentioned at Christmas a couple of years ago. Which, as we all know, is code for ‘I want you. Do something about it.’”
Pause for murmuring and laughter.
“He did something about it. He felt guilty about it. Hannah felt guilty about it. But there was no denying how they felt about each other… I was not super chill and full of grace when I found out about this. But right now, I’m about as happy as a man can be that his brother decided to date and then marry his ex-girlfriend.” I look directly at Brady. “Because you knew how rare it is to find someone that you can sustain that kind of feeling for, for over a decade. Because you both probably had feelings for each other for over a decade. But you’re such classy, considerate people that you didn’t act on it until I had finally blown it with Hannah for good. Because you didn’t want to waste any more time not being her husband.
“I get that. There’s a woman I had a crush on ever since the first time I saw her too. Ever since the first time I spoke to her on the phone, to be honest. She had been all I could think about for over two months. And I know without a doubt that she will dominate my thoughts for the rest of my life. I know that I’m crazy in love with her. The problem is, I’m nothing like Brady. I’m not considerate of other people’s feelings. I’m not patient. I don’t think with my head and my heart. I grew up wanting to be like Brady—sorry, Aiden,” I say to my other older brother. “You were cool too, but Brady was the one who’d tell me a watermelon wouldn’t actually grow in my stomach after I swallowed those watermelon seeds. Brady was the one who didn’t tell Ma that I egged that asshole’s car that one time. Anyway…I don’t blame you for liking Brady more than me, Hannah. And I’m going to try to be more like him again. For the woman’s sake and for mine… I forgot to bring my drink up with me, but here’s to recognizing love and to respecting it enough to go after it with your whole heart, even when you aren’t drunk.”
I go over to hug Brady and Hannah, to shake hands with Hannah’s family and everyone at their table. And then I head for the exit because I’m going to try calling Maddie one more time. But I stop in my tracks when I spot the most beautiful woman in the room, and she’s staring right at me.
My brain is still a little slower than usual, but my feet start taking me to her immediately.
Or maybe it’s my heart that’s finally leading me in the right direction.
My head is screwed on straight again.
Oxygenated blood is coursing through my veins again, but most of it’s going directly to my cock.
I’m awake and alert and at ease.
Because there she is. The woman I love. She’s still wearing her winter coat. Her shiny brown hair is up in a bun, her lower lip is quivering, and her big brown eyes are about to spill over with tears. The woman I’ve wanted to call and text and see again and again, ever since the first time we spoke. The woman who has handled me exactly the way I’ve always needed to be handled. The woman I should have said this to on Christmas night: “I love you.”
I take that gorgeous face in my hands and kiss her on the mouth. Hard and fast, because I’ve been dying to do this for so long. And then slow and tender because I know that I’ll be kissing this woman every day for the rest of my life. “I love you,” I say again between kisses. “I’m so in love with you.”
And then I remember that I need to listen to what she came here to say.
“I love you,” I say once more. “I’m not going to have the last word—you talk now. Hi.”
Thirty-Seven
Maddie
LOVE CRAPTUALLY
I sort of just want to hear Declan Cannavale tell me he’s in love with me about a thousand more times before I start talking, but he’s looking at me so intently, still holding my face in his hands, so what else can I say to him other than: “I love you too. I heard your speech. I loved what you said. All of it.”
“You heard the whole thing?”
“You were just picking up the mic when I walked in.”
He keeps staring at my mouth. “Are you hungry? Do you need to eat?”
“I stress ate all morning and at the airport, actually.”
He rubs
