I turned to watch him as he sat in the armchair, flipping through his laptop with a frown on his face. His guilt was still rippling off him in waves. Not only for what had happened today, but also from what he’d said to me earlier about not deserving the Silver Star. He’d been the reason any of them had come home. He’d been the reason families had bodies to bury.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Going through the personnel files again.”
“Do you really think it’s someone on the team?” I asked, my heart sagging at the thought.
“Not sure yet. I do know there was no way she was in that restaurant today.”
I didn’t argue with him because I certainly didn’t want him to feel more responsible than he already did.
He closed his laptop. “I feel like we’re missing a piece, which just reinforces the need to split up.”
“Won’t it put Brady in a worse situation?” I asked, worry coursing through me.
“If someone from Brady’s group is involved, and they want us to believe it’s Fiona acting alone, they’ll have to take a step back while he’s in hiding. Otherwise, it’ll just expose them more and have us deep-diving into everyone’s lives.”
It was all too much to think about on top of everything else I’d been through. I was exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. I wanted to step away from it all as more than just a survivor. I wanted to be resilient and strong. But right now, I needed sleep, and hopefully, when I woke in the morning, I’d truly step out from the ashes and start again.
Nash
STILL BREATHING
“I've been running all my life.
Just to find a home that's for the restless,
And the truth that's in the message,
Making my way, away, away.”
Performed by Green Day
Written by Armstrong / Pritchard / Wright III / Slack / Spiller
Dani came out of the bathroom in a pair of cotton shorts so tiny they barely covered her butt cheeks and a tank which almost showed as much as it hid. They were clearly pajamas of some sort in a print almost childlike. Cupcakes and unicorns. Things I’d never associated with a grown woman before.
Dani lay down in the bed where she’d slept earlier. Her eyes were so tired they looked bruised. When she closed her eyes, I got up and turned off the lights before sitting back down in the chair. I slouched, resting my neck on the chair back, staring at the ceiling.
I was pretty sure I wouldn’t sleep.
Not with Dani in the bed in front of me in almost nothing. Not with Dani needing protection from some obsessed maniac. I’d already locked every single lock on the door and checked the windows. The vents were far enough away with a weave on the grate small enough it would be almost impossible to slide a scope through. It was overkill. But my mind had been programmed to think this way, and the worst thing you could do was to take your enemy for granted.
My thoughts from earlier swirled through me again. None of the notes had been signed. Nothing truly tied the attacks back to Fiona. Images of our time at the restaurant replayed in my mind. Every inch. Every face. Every body. There’d been five men from the detail there. The super twins, two I barely knew, and Tanner. Tanner was an asshole, but I was pretty sure that was just because he hated me taking over and showing him his failures. It had nothing to do with Dani, but then again, this had started with Brady, and I wasn’t sure what any of their relationships had been like before Dani and I had come on board.
“You don’t have to sleep in the chair,” Dani’s voice broke into my thoughts. “You can sleep on the bed.” Her eyes were closed, and her voice sounded slow, slightly slurred as she started to fall asleep.
“I’m good,” I told her.
“I’m not contagious. I don’t have cooties. You can’t catch Dani cooties from sleeping in a bed with me and clean sheets,” she said, her lips quirked up at the corners like she was smirking at me even half asleep.
My lips quirked a return answer, even as the truth settled in. I already had Dani cooties. There were all kinds of Dani cooties crawling under and over my skin. And damn if those cooties weren’t enticing enough to make me want to forget reality, a promise to a dead brother, and promises to myself about my job and relationships. It made me want to forget everything but the skin of the woman who smelled like sunshine and honey and a childhood I’d all but forgotten about.
A childhood spent at a home I would be sharing with someone for the first time in my adult life. I’d never taken anyone there. Darren had known about it, but he’d never seen it firsthand. Not once. It wasn’t a place I chose to spend my time. I hadn’t been back in three years, even when Maribelle had begged.
Guilt hit me at thoughts of Maribelle.
While I watched, Dani’s smile softened, followed by her entire face, until I knew she was asleep. The slow rhythm of her chest against the sheets was like a timepiece waving in front of my face, hypnotizing me, pulling me under until my eyes closed, and I let myself doze off. A few minutes of surrender before I’d be on high alert again. At least, until I got her somewhere safe.
When I woke, the room was still dark, but since we hadn’t shut the curtains, I could see the
