“But you escaped before anything truly untoward occurred. The right man won’t care about any of that. Besides, none of it was your fault.”
“You know that doesn’t matter.” Beatrice shook her head. “And as far as the right man not caring, you only say that because your sisters have amazing men in their lives. Lord Aberland, Mr. Raybourne, and Daniel—”
“Daniel?” Margaret raised a brow. “Are the two of you on such intimate terms?”
“I mean Mr. Walker.” The slip of using his given name was one she didn’t want to make again. She couldn’t deny that she thought of him often and on a personal basis. She felt a connection with him that surprised her. But no one could know that. Certainly not him. She’d already burdened him overmuch. “The three of them are unusual compared to most men. Surely you realize that.”
“Does that mean you’ve met someone who made you think the opposite?”
Beatrice bit her lip, wondering how much to say. But she needed to talk over her thoughts with someone. “I was betrothed for several months until shortly after my father’s death.”
“You were?”
“When he realized Father didn’t provide a dowry for me, he declared his love for another lady in a nearby village.”
“How dare he!” Margaret’s outrage on her behalf made Beatrice feel slightly better. “What sort of man would do such a thing?”
“He had to be practical and think of his future. His own prospects were limited, and he was counting on a dowry.” The pang of hurt wasn’t nearly as strong as it had been even a month ago. Yet she couldn’t deny that with all that had happened, she was in no hurry to open herself to risking more of the same.
“My goodness. You have had more than your fair share of loss, haven’t you? Well, in my opinion, you narrowly missed marrying the wrong man. Who wants to be tied to someone who won’t remain by your side no matter what tragedy befalls you?”
“Most, I would venture to say.” She’d always had a practical nature and recent events hadn’t changed that. “Perhaps I should treat finding a husband more like seeking employment.”
“How do you mean?”
“Rather than relying on emotions to make my decision, I should rely on the qualities of the man.” Wouldn’t leaving emotions out of it also keep her from being hurt?
“What sort of qualities?” Margaret’s doubtful expression made Beatrice more determined to convince her, and therefore convince herself.
“Things like his ability to be a good provider and whether he likes children. If he has a temper. How he treats others. Whether he has any poor habits.”
“But not love?”
“Love is for those who can afford to allow their feelings to take precedence. I cannot.” Doubt rolled through her. “Mayhap I should try to find a position as a governess or a companion instead. That seems much simpler.”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but wouldn’t you also be considered ruined by those who might employ you?”
“True. Which means there’s no difference between a husband and an employer.”
Margaret stared at her, obviously confused. “That wasn’t what I meant.”
“What on earth are the two of you discussing?” Caroline stood in the doorway with hands on hips, a frown marring her brow.
Somehow Beatrice couldn’t answer without feeling as if she’d disappoint her. Caroline obviously believed in love. But the tender emotion was no longer within Beatrice’s reach. She’d consider herself lucky if she found a man she could like and respect.
“Miss Linfield is pondering her options.” Margaret nodded at Beatrice as if to encourage her to tell Caroline.
“I know you are already aware of this.” Beatrice sighed. “But I’m ruined. What man would have me for a wife? Surely it would be better to hope for employment. If an employer discovered the truth, then I would only have to find a new position.”
“We don’t need to tell anyone anything,” Caroline advised. “Why does anyone need to know the whole story?”
“Can you imagine keeping something from your husband your entire married life?” Beatrice waved her hand to emphasize her point, and the gown fell to the ground in folds around her feet. It felt like a sign that she was right.
“I’m not suggesting you keep the secret forever,” Caroline protested. “Only until he comes to know you and will understand that nothing happened and none of it was your fault.”
Beatrice covered her face with her hands as worry filled her. Such an occurrence seemed impossible. She could easily see her previous betrothed’s horrified expression if she told him recent events. He wouldn’t want to be in the same room with her, let alone consider marrying her.
She felt gentle fingers on her wrists, pulling her hands away from her face. She opened her eyes to see Caroline looking at her with sympathy. “I know this is frightening and filled with uncertainty.”
With another sigh, she gently twisted her wrists to hold Caroline’s hands. “You have already done so much for me. I don’t want you to risk your reputation either.”
“Don’t worry for a moment about that.”
“It’s only that I have difficulty believing any man would have me.” She swallowed against the embarrassment filling her. “As you may remember, I was betrothed before my father’s death. And I can easily imagine the horrified reaction he’d have at hearing my story.”
Margaret stepped forward. “I think she’s lucky she didn’t marry him. He sounds like a terrible person.”
“I would have to agree.” Caroline’s outrage comforted Beatrice. How lovely it was to have someone angry on her behalf.
“It wasn’t a love match,” Beatrice felt compelled to add. “But I thought we were friends. I thought we might have a good life together.”
“You deserve to have a good life, but he didn’t deserve you.” Caroline tipped up her chin. “Margaret is right. A man like that is not the right person for you.”
“I
