“They’ll ask questions about my parents.”
“And?” Caroline stared at her as if she’d lost her mind.
“What would I tell them?” Beatrice asked.
“The truth.” Caroline leaned forward to cover Beatrice’s hand with her own. “You have nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. I’m certain your mother and father were lovely people, just as you are, inside and out.”
“I don’t feel lovely in the least. Nor do I feel as if I belong at such a gathering.” Beatrice bit her lip, not wanting to sound ungrateful but unable to hide her trepidation. Did she dare tell Caroline what was in her heart? “In truth, I feel as if the fact that I’m ruined is painted on my face. That others will take one look at me and know.”
“Oh, Beatrice.” The sympathy in Caroline’s green eyes formed a lump in Beatrice’s throat. “You are not ruined in my eyes. You were the victim of a horrible scheme run by terrible people. I would like nothing more than to help you put that behind you and move forward.”
“Forgive me, but I have to wonder if that’s possible. I don’t want to live a lie.”
“I’m only suggesting that for now, no one needs to know. I would guess there are other days in your life that you wouldn’t bother to tell people about. Days when remarkable things happened, but they’re private moments you wouldn’t share.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“What if you treat the first few days when you arrived in London much the same? They’re not worth mentioning. I know they had an impact on you. But so did some of those other details you wouldn’t choose to reveal.”
Beatrice understood what Caroline was saying but wasn’t sure she could simply ignore what had occurred.
“I’m not suggesting for a moment that you should or could forget what happened,” Caroline continued as if sensing Beatrice’s hesitation. “All I am saying is that for now, you put it aside. We’ll return to it later and consider how to proceed then. Does that make sense?”
“It does. It just feels as if everyone will know I’m ruined with one glance.”
“Society’s rules are sometimes ridiculous. I know that firsthand. Your reputation is only ruined if others learn about what happened to you. Why not allow people the chance to come to know you before—or if—you choose to tell them the events you endured? What harm can temporarily omitting a few days of your life cause? At least until you’re certain what that life will be.”
Beatrice heaved a sigh. “It sounds so simple when you speak of it. But when I’m alone with my thoughts, all that seems impossible and feels deceitful.”
“Then we won’t leave you alone with your thoughts for long.” Caroline smiled and eased back, releasing Beatrice’s hand. “We shall stay busy for the foreseeable future. At least a week or two. Then we shall decide the best path forward. How does that sound?”
“Are you certain I’m not too much of a burden? You should be thinking about the baby rather than me.”
Caroline chuckled as she placed her hand over her still slim middle. “My thoughts are always filled with the baby. It’s rather nice to have a chance to remember that I’m a person too, not just an expectant mother. I thoroughly enjoy your company, and you’ve been a tremendous help in preparing the nursery.”
“Yes, you have,” the earl said as he walked into the room. “You have my deepest thanks for assisting with that project. I don’t think Caroline would’ve found me nearly as effective.” He reached for his wife’s hand as he stood beside her.
Their easy affection and deep regard for one another was beautiful to watch. Beatrice had never witnessed a relationship such as theirs. Her mother and father had rarely shown affection. Watching Lord and Lady Aberland made her realize what she would’ve missed out on if she had married her betrothed. His stilted behavior toward her might have been merely because they didn’t know each other well. But in truth, she couldn’t see him ever looking at her the way the earl looked at his wife.
That was what Beatrice wanted, she realized with a pang of longing. It had been easy to think she could settle for a more practical match and talk of seeking a husband much like she would a position. But now that she’d seen these two, how could she not wish to have a similar relationship in her own life?
She forced a smile as she listened to them speak about their plans for the day. Finding a man who cared for her enough to overlook her ruined reputation already seemed impossible, and love was a rarity. She might not find either, let alone both.
If she were wise, she’d put aside her longing and be practical. She’d look for a man she could respect and admire. That might have to be enough. Friendship would be a lovely bonus. But love was too much to hope for given the circumstances.
“Good afternoon.” Her heart stuttered as Daniel strode into the room with a broad smile on his face.
Oh dear. Perhaps love wasn’t out of the question after all. She swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. Why did he have to be so thoughtful and handsome? So kind and considerate? Why did he have a charming smile that melted her? And why had his kiss given her heart wings?
“Greetings, brother,” the earl said with an easy smile. “What brings you by today?”
Daniel’s gaze met Beatrice’s and suddenly she couldn’t take a breath. Then his focus returned to his brother, allowing her to draw a quick gasp of air.
She needed to take a firm hold of her emotions. The thought of seeing pity in his eyes if he realized how she felt about him was enough to have her look away. He already felt sorry for her because of what she’d been through. She didn’t want sympathy from him. No.
