Just as I was about to answer him, the sprinklers kicked on. We’d ran out of there laughing and screaming and soaking wet. I forgot to say yes until much later.
Colin, loving you was so easy. The kind of ease that comes with first love. Loving Ashton was like pulling teeth! But somehow, it went a bit deeper. He’s got more scars, more depth, more to lose, and that made me love him in a way I couldn’t ever love you. You and I were perfect, perfect love. Ashton and I were like tempered steel, constantly being put over the flame and pounded into new shapes, yet stronger with each strike.
I thought he was the one … I thought he might be the one to save me.
I hadn’t realized until now. I came to Nashville to say goodbye to you but I stayed to be saved, to save each other. I saw something in him that could fill the gaping hole you left behind.
Oh how wrong I was. That hole just got bigger. Now I need to let both of you go in order to survive.
I love you, Colin. Until we meet again.
Always yours,
Millie
Tears streamed down my cheeks at the finality of my last letter to him. I sat there for a long, few moments, just breathing deeply, letting the tears flow. I was so absorbed in the letter I didn’t notice anyone had walked in until they cleared their throat behind me. I jumped a little, spinning to see Gran.
I quickly wiped at my eyes, putting on a fake smile.
“Hey, how’s Ashton and Wayne?”
She gave me a sweet smile.
“Well…” She took in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “Wayne still needs a liver and Ashton’s body needs to stop rejecting Colin’s heart. But I’m hoping they’ll both make it.”
I froze.
Colin’s heart.
She said … Colin’s heart.
“He told you.” My voice was small as my head hung with shame. In such a short time I’d grown to love this woman too.
Gran nodded. “You wanna talk about it?”
I blew air through my teeth. “Yeah, let me get us some tea.”
Gran nodded and then sidled into the booth in the back. The new glass door was put in but I’d have to run a vacuum over everything before more customers started showing.
Making two cups of tea, I placed them on the tray and then grabbed my signed copy of the restaurant sale agreement Gran and I had signed in her office.
When I got out to the booth, she was just sitting there looking at me quizzically. My stomach tightened with nerves. She hadn’t walked in yelling at me and calling me a psycho, so that was a good sign.
I set the tea down in front of her with the contract, and then plopped into the seat. She looked at the contract and then looked up at me. Picking up her tea, she took a long sip and then looked at me again.
I swallowed hard. Clearly she wanted me to start talking.
“I fell in love with Colin when I was sixteen. We eventually got married, and two days after our wedding, he died in a car accident in New York City.”
She nodded, lips turned into a frown, but didn’t speak a word, so I went on.
“I was so … lost. That was my future, my plan. No Colin meant no children, no growing old together, no more takeout for two. I was … broken.”
She reached out and grasped my hand but didn’t speak. “A year passed, and they said it would get better with time … but it didn’t. Not while someone was walking around with his beating heart in their chest.”
A tear rolled down my cheek and I swatted it away. “So I got Ashton’s details. I borrowed a stethoscope. I was going to ask him if I could listen to Colin’s heart beating and then I was going to go. I had a flight later that night, you have to believe me.”
Gran nodded. “Why’d you stay?”
I gulped. “He was smoking, drinking … he had such a bad attitude, his bar was failing. I don’t know. I guess I thought I could fix him. Do right by Colin.”
We were both silent a moment.
“Love will make you do crazy things,” Gran finally said, and I wasn’t sure if she meant love for Colin or love for Ashton.
I tapped the contract, pushing it across the table. “As soon as he’s discharged from the hospital and can get back to running the bar, I’ll go back to New York.”
To my shock, Gran pushed the contract back over to me. “I think you should stay.”
I shook my head, adamantly. “He wants me to go. He called me a psycho.”
She shrugged. “I was married thirty-four years. My husband called me a psycho more times than I can count. So what?”
I grinned, but then saddened. “It’s not the same and you know it.”
Gran patted my hand. “Ashton does angry really well. Ever since we lost Jenna, he’s been mad at the world. Now he has an actual person he can be mad at and I’m sure he loves that. I’m sure you’ve got a bullseye on your forehead for all of his anger, but he’s not really mad at you, honey.”
I shook my head. “Trust me. He is.”
Gran tapped the tabletop twice. “No. He’s hurt. There’s a difference.”
I shrugged. “Well, either way, I’ll be gone before he comes home.” I slid the contract back to her and stood, just as someone walked in through the doors. It was the perfect reason to walk away from the table and not listen to whatever else Gran was about to say. “Thanks for coming by. I really appreciate it.” I gave her a weak smile and greeted the newcomers.
It was a young couple interested in our nine-dollar avocado toast. A smile graced my lips, and I couldn’t wait to tell Ashton, until
