COLLECTOR
enters with lumbering difficulty, looks around, takes control. The power she radiates is somehow guaranteed by her grotesque form. Her body is a huge damaged tank operating under the intimate command of a brilliant field warrior which is her mind
:
MARY
waits, appalled and intimidated.
)
COLLECTOR
:
I knew there was people in because I heard music. (
MARY
cannot speak.
) Some people don’t like to open the door. I’m in charge of the whole block.
MARY
(
recovering
): Are you collecting for something?
COLLECTOR
:
The United Fund for the Obese, you know,
UFO
. That includes The Obese Catholic Drive, The Committee for Jewish Fat People, the Help the Blind Obese, and the Universal Aid to the Obese. If you make one donation you won’t be bothered again.
MARY
:
We’ve never been asked before.
COLLECTOR
:
I know. But I have your card now. The whole Fund has been reorganized.
MARY
:
It has?
COLLECTOR
:
Oh yes. Actually it was my idea to have the Obese themselves go out and canvass. They were against it at first but I convinced them. It’s the only fair way. Gives the public an opportunity to see exactly where their money goes. And I’ve managed to get the Spastic and Polio and Cancer people to see the light. It’s the only fair way. We’re all over the neighbourhood.
MARY
:
It’s very – courageous.
COLLECTOR
:
That’s what my husband says.
MARY
:
Your husband!
COLLECTOR
:
He’d prefer me to stay at home. Doesn’t believe in married girls working.
MARY
:
Have – have you been married long?
COLLECTOR
:
Just short of a year. (
Coyly.
) You might say we’re still honeymooners.
MARY
:
Oh.
COLLECTOR
:
Don’t be embarrassed. One of the aims of our organization is to help people like me lead normal lives. Now what could be more normal than marriage? Can you think of anything more normal? Of course you can’t. It makes you feel less isolated, part of the whole community. Our people are getting married all the time.
MARY
:
Of course, of course. (
She is disintegrating.
)
COLLECTOR
:
I didn’t think it would work out myself at first. But John is so loving. He’s taken such patience with me. When we’re together it’s as though there’s nothing
wrong with me at all.
MARY
:
What does your husband do?
COLLECTOR
:
He’s a chef.
MARY
:
A chef.
COLLECTOR
:
Not in any famous restaurant. Just an ordinary chef. But it’s good enough for me. Sometimes, when he’s joking, he says I married him for his profession. (
MARY
tries to laugh.
) Well I’ve been chatting too long about myself and I have the rest of this block to cover. How much do you think you’d like to give. I know you’re a working girl.
MARY
:
I don’t know, I really don’t know.
COLLECTOR
:
May I make a suggestion?
MARY
:
Of course.
COLLECTOR
:
Two dollars.
MARY
:
Two dollars. (
Goes to her purse obediently.
)
COLLECTOR
:
I don’t think that’s too much, do you?
MARY
:
No no.
COLLECTOR
:
Five dollars would be too much.
MARY
:
Too much.
COLLECTOR
:
And one dollar just doesn’t seem right.
MARY
:
Oh, I only have a five. I don’t have any change.
COLLECTOR
:
I’ll take it.
MARY
:
You’ll take it?
COLLECTOR
:
I’ll take it. (
A command.
)
(
MARY
drops the bill in the transaction, being afraid to make any physical contact with the
COLLECTOR
.
MARY
stoops to pick it up. The
COLLECTOR
prevents her.
)
COLLECTOR
:
Let me do that. The whole idea is not to treat us like invalids. You just watch how well I get along. (
The
COLLECTOR
retrieves the money with immense difficulty.
)
COLLECTOR
:
That wasn’t so bad, was it?
MARY
:
No. Oh no. It wasn’t so bad.
COLLECTOR
:
I’ve even done a little dancing in my time.
MARY
:
That’s nice.
COLLECTOR
:
They have courses for us. First we do it in water, but very soon we’re right up there on dry land. I bet you do some dancing yourself, a girl like you. I heard music when I came.
MARY
:
Not really.
COLLECTOR
:
Do you know what would make me very happy?
MARY
:
It’s very late.
COLLECTOR
:
To see you do a step or two.
MARY
:
I’m quite tired.
COLLECTOR
:
A little whirl.
MARY
:
I’m not very good.
COLLECTOR
:
A whirl, a twirl, a bit of a swing. I’ll put it on for you.
(
The
COLLECTOR
begins to make her way to the record-player.
MARY
,
who cannot bear to see her expend herself, overtakes her and switches it on.
MARY
performs for a few moments while the
COLLECTOR
looks on with pleasure, tapping out the time.
MARY
breaks off the dance.
)
MARY
:
I’m not very good.
COLLECTOR
:
Would a little criticism hurt you?
MARY
:
No –
COLLECTOR
:
They’re not dancing like that any more.
MARY
:
No?
COLLECTOR
:
They’re doing something altogether different.
MARY
:
I wouldn’t know.
COLLECTOR
:
More like this.
(
The record has reached the end of its spiral and is now jerking back and forth over the last few bars.
)
COLLECTOR
:
Don’t worry about that.
(
The
COLLECTOR
moves to stage centre and executes a terrifying dance to the repeating bars of music. It combines the heavy mechanical efficiency of a printing machine with the convulsions of a spastic. It could be a garbage heap falling down an escalator. It is grotesque but military, excruciating but triumphant. It is a woman-creature proclaiming a disease of the flesh.
MARY
tries to look away but cannot. She stares, dumbfounded, shattered, and ashamed.
)
COLLECTOR
:
We learn to get around, don’t we?
MARY
:
It’s very nice. (
She switches off the machine.
)
COLLECTOR
:
That’s more what they’re doing.
MARY
:
Is it?
COLLECTOR
:
In most of the places. A few haven’t caught on.
MARY
:
I’m very tired now. I think –
COLLECTOR
:
You must be tired.
MARY
:
I am.
COLLECTOR
:
With all my talking.
MARY
:
Not really.
COLLECTOR
:
I’ve taken your time.
MARY
:
You haven’t.
COLLECTOR
:
I’ll write you a receipt.
MARY
:
It isn’t necessary.
COLLECTOR
:
Yes it is. (
She writes.
) This isn’t official. An official receipt will be mailed to you from Fund headquarters. You’ll need it for Income Tax.
MARY
:
Thank you.
COLLECTOR
:
Thank
you.
I’ve certainly enjoyed this.
MARY
:
Me too. (
She is now confirmed in a state of numbed surrender.
)
COLLECTOR
(
with a sudden disarming tenderness that changes through the speech into a vision of uncompromising domination
): No, you didn’t. Oh, I know you didn’t. It frightened you. It made you sort of sick. It had to frighten you. It always does at the beginning. Everyone is frightened at the beginning. That’s part of it. Frightened and – fascinated. Fascinated – that’s the important thing. You were fascinated too, and that’s
