Nell thought she’d done a pretty good job of it. “I’m fine. I needed some alone time. I haven’t felt well.”
“Really?” Laura stared down at her. She proved that motherhood had nothing to do with the physical act of delivering a baby because she had the mom look down. “You’re going with that? You have nothing to say about the whole Henry-used-to-be-a-CIA-operative thing?”
“I don’t know that it’s anybody’s business.” She wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not even with her friends.
Laura sighed, a deeply relieved sound, and sat down opposite Nell. “You knew. I was so worried that this blindsided you, but if you’re this calm, then you knew.”
“It’s okay.” Holly smiled as though she was relieved, too. “I would normally say you should have told us, but I understand why you wouldn’t. It’s important to keep that particular secret. No one’s upset. Everyone will understand you couldn’t break your husband’s confidence.”
“Mel’s already bugging him about opening up the ‘vault,’ as he calls it,” Laura admitted. “Apparently Mel believes the CIA has a vault filled with knowledge about alien encounters. He also made Henry take a shot of his special beet-infused whiskey. It’s horrible. Seriously, if I was an alien, it would keep me away, too.”
Henry hadn’t mentioned that, though every time he tried to talk about anything other than what they needed to do around the house, she shut him down. She couldn’t listen right now. She was in some kind of purgatory where she couldn’t quite tell him to get out and she couldn’t do the things they needed to heal the wound.
She wasn’t sure the wound could heal.
“I’ve always known you two had some kind of big secret between you,” Laura admitted with a smile. “You’re going to think this is crazy, but I decided you and Henry write romantic novels under the name Libby Finn.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “Nell wouldn’t write romance. I told her. She made me read those books and not one of them talked about recycling. Although some of the characters are oddly close to a few people we know.”
“Her latest book was about a woman named Heidi, a doctor named Calvin, and a former Ukrainian mobster named Andrei,” Laura said. “She’s here in this town. I swear. Or she’s someone’s sister and hears all the gossip. I would say it’s Callie, but Callie can’t keep a secret.”
Oh, but Nell could. Still, she hadn’t even known the biggest secret of her life. “I didn’t know. Not until last week. So I take it the word is out to everyone now?”
She’d been hiding from this all week, but it was time to face it. After all, it wasn’t like she’d done anything wrong beyond being unable to see what was right in front of her face.
Both of her friends simply sat there for a moment, staring at her like they didn’t know who she was.
“You didn’t know.” Laura seemed to have to say the words in order to believe them.
“I’m not anywhere near as smart as you two seem to think I am,” she said with a humorless chuckle. “I had no idea until I watched my husband kill a man.”
“Henry killed someone?” Holly’s question came out loud, seeming to ping around the room. She flushed and lowered her voice. “I thought that was a joke. I mean, he was CIA, of course, but he worked in an office, right?”
Nell shook her head. “Nope. He was a license-to-kill kind of guy. And he was in the Army.”
Holly’s eyes managed to widen even further. “He was a soldier? We’re talking about the US Army, not some group that calls themselves an army, right? Like Wildlife Warriors? I could see that.”
“He was Special Forces. He was so good at it, they recruited him into the CIA.” He was everything she’d believed was wrong with the world. Not the idea of a soldier. The world needed soldiers and protectors, but that wasn’t necessarily what the CIA did. On the surface, yes, but history had proven the CIA mostly watched out for the CIA.
Holly turned Laura’s way. “You’re supposed to be a hotshot profiler. How did you not see this? I am Suzy Sunshine and tend to think everyone is awesome until they prove themselves to be awful. You’re supposed to be smarter than me. Smarter than us. You’re obviously the brains of our friendship, and you have failed.”
“Hey,” Laura began and then deflated. “I didn’t see it at all. He’s good. I should have gotten something off him. I used to find actual serial killers.”
According to Henry himself, he practically was one, though all of his kills had been sanctioned by the US government. Or Nate Wright.
Maybe she should protest Nate. It had been a while, and he seemed to have forgotten that there were procedures to be followed.
Henry could have died. It could have been Henry on the floor of the Feed Store Church, his lifeless eyes staring up at her.
“Hey, you just went pale,” Laura said.
“I’ll get Caleb.” Holly stood up.
Nell reached for her hand to stop her. “I’m fine. Rachel’s in there right now. At least I think she is. She had the appointment before me. Caleb likes to get all the pregnant stuff done at one time.”
Holly sank back down. “I’m so sorry. This has to be hard on you.”
Laura had sobered as well. “Are you all right? Please don’t give us a bullshit answer. We’re your friends. You’ve been hiding. You need to talk about this.”
But if she talked about it, then it would be real. She would have to make a decision, and she wasn’t ready for that yet.
“She’ll talk about it when she’s ready,” a deep voice said.
Holly started and Laura turned around to face the newcomer. Henry stood just inside the door of the clinic.
“I didn’t hear you,” Holly said. “The door makes a noise when it opens.”
Henry simply shrugged. “It doesn’t have to if you know
