‘What about her Corrine – did you notice her … or these few grouped behind the nasty kids? They seem to be shouting at the bullies.’
Corrine took the image, frowning she studied it. ‘I suppose, the hurt stays with you longer than the kindness – it’s what I was used to, you see. I was used to being hurt, so I couldn’t always see the kindness.’
‘Earlier you said you were punished – did you mean the children punished you?’
Corrine shook her head. ‘No. I thought I was punished because I started to speak to Rory. He was the only one I spoke to at first, but it was after I started speaking to Rory that his mum killed herself and I was sent away to a different foster home – at the time I equated it with being blamed for Rory’s mum’s death … It was another year before I spoke to anyone again.’
Chapter 41
Bradford
Gus’s impatience at having to take time out from the investigation faded away on entering the ICU ward at BRI where Jessica was about to have her life support switched off. She was in a private room, with her brothers and Serafina peering through the small window on the door.
As Gus and Alice approached, the three turned to them and Gus was struck by the pain on the brothers’ faces. No easy smile from Imti today and even Shahid didn’t seem to have the energy to summon up his usual frown. Ill at ease in these circumstances, Gus held back, allowing Alice to move forward and hug each of the three in turn. It was only a few minutes till noon and as the seconds ticked down, Gus’s stomach clenched. He’d seen death before and the thought of having to witness it again, filled him with dread. He’d do it for Imti – and Shahid too, he supposed. Hoping it was all over with quickly filled him with guilt. How could he possibly wish that on anyone? It didn’t matter that Jessica herself had decided on this course of action – the fact was, her final decision left behind a legacy of hurt that her brothers would carry with them for years to come.
Serafina pulled Imti away from the door. ‘It’s time for them to go in now. We should wait in the waiting room.’ With tears pouring down Imti’s face, and a pulse throbbing at Shahid’s temple, the trio, shoulders slumped, left Alice and Gus by the door.
‘Let’s get this over with then.’ Alice looked about as happy about the prospect of entering the room as he felt, yet she flung her shoulders back and pushing the door open, walked inside.
Gus followed and waited at the end of the bed as Alice went straight to the chair on Jess’s left and sat down, clasping the girl’s hand in hers. He didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he caught Alice’s glare and realised he’d been staring at Jess. Exhaling, he walked to the other side of the bed, wishing the persistent sounds of the machines monitoring her, keeping her alive, were quieter. Then realising what their silence would mean, he mentally cursed himself. While Alice seemed to naturally know what to do, Gus hesitated.
The girl lying on the bed was a mere shell of the cocky, defiant, often sullen girl he’d arrested. Her complexion was so pale, Gus doubted that she could have any blood circulating in her frail body. Following Alice’s example, he sat next to her and took her hand in his. Despite the warmth of the room, it was cool to the touch – lifeless. Unexpectedly a lump formed in Gus’s throat. What a waste of a life. If things had been different. If she’d been given a different roll of the dice, she could have been happy.
The door opened and Gus tensed. This would be the doctors coming to turn off the life support. Unable to look at them, he focussed on Jessica’s face – her eyes were closed and he wondered if she was aware of their presence since she’d slipped into the coma. Alice was whispering to her. Reminding her that she wasn’t alone. That her brothers were outside thinking about her and that she and Gus were here with her. He wished he could find the words to speak to her too, but nothing came to his mind. All he could see were flashes of memory – her standing with Sadia, when they’d found Jessica’s friend murdered. His dad reassuring her, placing a gentle hand on her arm, Jess digging into the McDonald’s meal he’d bought her as if she’d not eaten for weeks, her scowl and angry swearing when Shahid turned up at her door…
The door opened again, and quiet footsteps moved behind Gus and a respectful voice spoke. ‘It’s time.’
Eyes closed, Gus gripped Jess’ hand as if he’d never let it go and hoped she could sense his presence beside her as one by one the cacophony of beeps, thurrumps, wheezing wafts cut out. In the silence of the room, Gus opened his eyes again and focussed on the rising and falling of Jessica’s chest as the time between breaths grew longer, her breaths shallower … until there was nothing – no movement, no sound – just nothing.
The same quiet voice from before spoke again. ‘That’s it. She’s gone. I’ll give you some space.’
And as he and Alice sat looking at Jessica’s lifeless body, he became aware of someone standing at the foot of the bed. He turned slightly. His heart hammered against his chest and the colour drained from his face, leaving him momentarily dizzy. He tried to rise to his feet but had no energy to do so.
‘Hi, Gus, Alice. Long-time no see.’
He shook his head as if attempting to rid his mind of the image of the woman standing there. She couldn’t be here. Why had no one told him she was back? Across the bed, Alice
