‘And she didn’t think to mention it to you?’
‘Seems not … but that’s not the worst of it. She’s invited Sadia to drive back up to Scotland with us tomorrow.’
Alice shut her eyes. ‘Nooooo…’
‘Yes … Don’t know what the hell she’s playing at.’
Alice snorted. ‘Oh, I do, Gus. She’s trying to set you up with Sadia again. Now that Patti’s out of the picture, she thinks you and Sadia might get back together.’
‘That is not, I repeat, not going to happen…’
‘Me thinks the Gus man doth protest…’
‘Shut up, Al.’
****
Ignoring the slight hangover that pulsed behind his eyes, Gus enjoyed the walk through Heaton Woods up to his parents’ house. Alice, unexpectedly, had been awake and opted to come with him – no doubt to see Sadia again – was Gus’s uncharitable thought on that. So, with Bingo careering about as they walked up the slope, Gus allowed the fresh air and morning quiet to soothe him. The last thing he wanted was to be cooped up in a car with two women he didn’t want to speak to and a bumbling forensic psychologist who, no doubt, would be oblivious to the tension and natter on incessantly.
For someone so attuned to the workings of the criminal mind, it amazed Gus how oblivious Carlton could be when it came to his colleagues – probably a bloody act – he’s probably assessing and analysing everything we do and say. That thought didn’t sit well with Gus, for who knew what gems of wisdom the psychologist would extract from them during the four-hour car journey. Not that Gus had anything to hide. He wasn’t the one keeping secrets.
Popping on sunglasses as they entered the driveway, Gus tried to evict the squirming maggots that had taken up residence in his belly. It’s just the whisky gurgling in my stomach. Once the bacon butty Al cooked for me settles, I’ll be fine.
Allowing Alice to lead the way towards the quartet of people grouped round his mum’s car, Gus watched. His dad cupped his mum’s cheeks in his huge hands and was talking earnestly to her – whispering sweet nothings no doubt. Carlton, livelier than Bingo, was almost jogging on the spot and in that instance, Gus thought he looked just like Compo – the same effusive enthusiasm.
Under her breath, Alice said, ‘I thought the glasses were for your mum and Sadia’s benefit, but I think you might need them anyway.’ She grinned and nodded towards Carlton, who had opted for subtle blending-in apparel – with red tartan shorts, green tartan socks, and a purple polo shirt, he was blindingly ‘out there’.
Increasing her pace, Alice rushed forward. ‘Sadiaaaaa…’
Arms outstretched, she grabbed Sadia and pulled her into a hug. ‘You’re such a bitch not to keep in touch, Sad. I’ve missed you.’
A spike of jealousy halted Gus. Why couldn’t Alice be more loyal? She didn’t need to make a fuss of Sadia. She should be on his side. Realising he was behaving like a child, Gus, lips curled, moved over to the back of the car and slung his overnight bag in. Now, Alice was hugging his mum – Talk about bloody Judas!
Moving away from the group, Gus just wanted to get into the car where he could snuggle in the back, close his eyes, and block out this entire nightmare for the duration of the car journey at least. His dad sidled up to him, his round face suffused with colour, his voice gruff. ‘Should’ve told you, Angus. About Sadia, I mean. We should have told you, but we didn’t know how. You took it so badly when she left, it seemed … Kinder … Yes, kinder not to say anything. If we’d known she’d end up back in Bradford, I swear we would have told you.’
Studying his father’s morose expression took the edge off Gus’s anger. He loved his parents and they loved him. But they had this annoying habit of wanting to protect him from everything and that inevitably resulted in them making decisions to withhold information. He gripped his dad’s forearm. ‘I know, Dad, I know. But you and Mum need to realise that I’m not the same man I was after Greg and Billy died. I came through it. I’m strong enough to face unpalatable truths. You can’t protect me, and you have to stop, because this last lie was one too far.’
Fergus McGuire’s shoulders slumped. ‘I know, laddie, I know.’
They stood side by side in silence for a few seconds. Then, ‘You’ll look after her, won’t you, Angus?’
‘Christ, Dad – course I will. But, I’m not quite ready to put this behind me. It’s been a shock to see Sadia again and realise you’ve been in touch all this time. I need time – and space, but I’ll take care of Mum. I always will.’
Fergus McGuire squeezed his son’s shoulder and wiped a tear from his eye. ‘That’s good enough for me, laddie, good enough for me.’
Gus smiled. His dad was such an old sop, he could never stay angry with him for long.
Chapter 51
Bellbrax Psychiatric Facility, Scotland
One two three four … They’re all there. The drawings of the woman with the dark hair and brown eyes are all there. All present and correct. I push the folder back under the bed.
The voices are murmuring, but I can’t hear the words. I want them to stop. ‘Stop it.’
Jeannie, the cleaner, pops her head in the door. ‘You OK, Rory? You need something?’
The words in my head turn to laughter. ‘Ha, ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha’
Stop it! I don’t say it out loud this time, but they keep on laughing. ‘Ha, ha, ha ha ha ha,ha ha ha.’
I prefer the words. At least I know what they mean. I fold my arms up and over my ears, clasping my hands over my
