Snuggling down in the blankets and drifting off to sleep, I can’t help but smile a little to myself. I had a good time. I enjoyed myself. And I’m excited for tomorrow.
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I’m sat in the back seat of the car with my eyes closed. I have some random pop song playing on my phone, my earphone buds pushed tightly into my ears. I love that smell, the ocean. I could breathe it all day. I open my eyes and look out my window. The beautiful coastline flows by. I can see people on boards in the surf. I never really learnt how to do that. Tammy could surf really well and tried to teach me a few times. But I just preferred laying on the sand soaking up the heat.
I feel something lightly tap my knee and look up while pulling my earphone out. My mum smiles at me.
“Your dad and I were just talking, thinking about when we go to Italy in the summer, if maybe Tammy wanted to come too? Your older now and we don’t want you to be hanging around us oldies all the time. What do you think?” What do I think?OMG I can’t wait till I tell her. She is gonna go crazy.
“I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.” I say excitedly. I pop my earbuds back in and lay my head back and close my eyes again.
I can feel something tapping me on the leg again. I open my eyes and realise I must have been asleep for a while. It’s dark and raining out side. I turn my head to face the front to hear what my mum wants now.
“What’s wrong mum?” I say.
Then the screaming starts. A loud agonising screaming. That doesn’t stop. It just goes on and on. It’s hurting my head it’s that loud. Lights are flashing, red and blue lights are surrounding me.
Now I’m stood on the side of the road. I see my parents car upside down and mangled up with another vehicle. I run over to it expecting someone to stop me. But no one will. I know. I’ve been here many times before. No one ever stops me. Because I’m not really here. I wasn’t there that night either. I was safe at home.
I reach the car and get on my hands and knees. I’m looking through the windows to make sure my parents aren’t still in there. But they are. Their eyes are glassy, and staring straight ahead. They aren’t moving, or talking. They aren’t breathing. They are dead. The screaming gets louder in my head and I have to crouch down and put my hands to my ears trying to block it out. But it doesn’t work. Feeling heat on my face I look up, I’m stood further away from my parents car. I don’t know how I got here, but it’s a dream, I don’t have to know.
There’s a bright orange glow in front of me. The heat is immense. But it doesn’t burn me. Just my parents. And the three strangers in the other car. I never got to see them after they left that night. They were ‘un recognisable’ according to the police support worker. The screaming starts again and I can feel it vibrate all through my body. I know it’s coming from me. But something is different in this dream, different to the ones that I’ve had countless times since that night. There’s another sound. It’s louder than the screaming. But it’s comforting. It’s an animalistic sound. It’s howling and it’s getting louder and louder.
I jolt up in bed quickly. Despite the cold weather outside my body is sticky with sweat, and my face wet with tears. The screaming from my dream has gone. But there is still a low gentle howl I can hear. I get out of bed and go over to my balcony doors I just need some fresh air. Although it was just a dream I can still smell the smoke. It felt so real. I need to let fresh air fill my lungs.
I stand on my balcony in my boy short pjs and vest top. Goosebumps cover my skin and I start to shiver but I welcome the cold. It’s better than the feeling of the fire. I look down and sat directly below my balcony is my black wolf. I’m not sure I should call him that anymore. I know what Logan said about the attack most likely to have come from a bear but he could still be the one who killed that hiker. I don’t think he is though. He’s too calm He’s just sat looking straight at me. It almost feels like he’s checking on me.
“Thanks for waking me up. I never did like that dream.” I say quietly to him. Unsure why I’m talking to an animal. But some animals are meant to be quite smart. Maybe he heard me scream and that’s why he’s sat there. Either way I’m pretty sure his howling woke me up and for that I’m thankful. I’m usually stood watching the fire burn much longer than I did tonight. The wolf seems to have understood me yet again and nods his head once and then lays down in my yard, seeming intent on staying there a while.
I feel like I have protector sat watching over me. I shiver once more then turn and go back to bed. Back to a dreamless yet peaceful sleep.
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My alarm goes off at 6.30am. It takes me a
