“Okay... what exactly are you getting at here Logan?” he takes the sandwich I’ve been holding away, grasps my hand and entwines our fingers, I tear my gaze away from him to look down at our joined hands. The electricity I can feel is strong enough that I ought to be able to see actual sparks.
“What I’m trying to say Alexia, is that I can’t lead, I can’t be the Alpha of the Blackmoon Pack without my mate by my side. Without you standing and leading with me, as equals. I am the future Alpha of this pack, and you are the future Luna.” His other hand goes to behind my neck to hold me in place; I can feel my self swaying a little at what he has just said.
I think I’m about to throw up.
I don’t say anything.
I don’t know what to say.
“Alexia... tell me what you’re thinking right now. Your heart sounds like its about to explode.”
I still don’t say anything.
I still don’t know what to say. I’m human, five hours ago I didn’t even know werewolves existed and now I’m being told that I’m supposed to lead them? How is that even possible? But if I say I can’t then if what Logan says is true, then he can’t either. How is that fair?
“How?” I quietly whisper, but he hears me.
“How what?” he says as he pulls me into him, but I place my palms flat on his chest and push away from him, I don’t want him to calm me, I don’t want to be calmed, I want to have a clear head. I can see the hurt and confusion in his eyes as I push him away.
“Don’t do that Logan.” I say, my voice steadier than I expected it to.
“Don’t do what Alexia? Don’t hold you?” he reaches out to me again and I take a step back.
“Don’t touch me, don’t do that thing that you do, that makes me feel what I feel. I just need... I just need a little breathing space Logan. Being near you, touching you, clouds everything and blurs things together. I need to process.” He doesn’t say anything, just walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.
“How am I supposed to lead a group of... of? To stand equal to you. I’m not... I’m human. I’m not equal to you. I can’t even say the word.” He is in front of me faster than I can even see him move. He is close to me, but as I asked he isn’t touching me, but he is close enough that I can feel his breath on my face.
“Don’t ever say that Alexia. You are my equal, the only person who is. You are stronger than you know. My pack will love you, they will follow you and they wont care that you are human, they would die to protect you.” His eyes are burning gold, and they don’t leave mine as I step back from him.
“Die for me? Die for me, I don’t want people dying for me. Is that meant to be a reason why I say yes to you? Why I should let you mark me, which by the way I still have no idea what that even is, or how you do it, but if it has anything to do with you peeing on me then my answer is no. When I woke up this morning I didn’t know anything about..... werewolves and now you're throwing all this at me? And its not only my life that I have to choose about, oh no, what I decide affects you too. How am I supposed to make sense of any of this?” I know I’m ranting, but I can’t help it. My mind is so full right now of a thousand questions and thoughts.
“Why do you think I fought this for so long Alexia? It's why I kept my distance from you, why I put myself through hell, this, this for us, is the last thing that I wanted, I...” He doesn’t get to finish.
“I’m the last thing that you wanted? Well I’m sorry that the stupid Goddess woman paired you with me, that you got stuck with me.” I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.
“No Alexia that’s not what I ...”
“Well I’ll make it easy for you. This whole, whole, whatever you call this, is crazy. I’m leaving.” I stomp toward the door, expecting him to stop me. Thankfully he doesn’t. I walk out into the hall and head toward the top of the stairs, I make my way down them, relieved that he is letting me go. I pass a few people near the bottom of the stairs and they bow their head to me, I just look at them in confusion. I spot the main front door and walk toward it with my head held high, suddenly remembering that all I’m wearing is an oversized t-shirt and no shoes. No time to be embarrassed now, I’m in a house full of wolves.
I open the door, only to have it slammed shut by a large hand over my head. Another hand goes around my waist and I’m pulled into a hard body. I don’t need to look who it is.
“Don’t leave.” He says roughly.
“I wont follow
