Buzzy was still writing the first quote.
Which meant what Miss Crabapple said was directed toward me.
Just to make sure of it, she pushed herself from her chair and stood up.
She walked to me and pointed a finger right at my face.
“I know,” I said. “That was for me.”
“More than that,” she said. “Go do it. You love that gorgeous man and he loves you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh, it’s not? So you’re just giving up on everything now? Your business? Your music? Your love?”
“It’s…”
“These excuses will kill you,” Miss Crabapple said. “Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t you supposed to be somewhere tonight?”
I had a gig with Carla and Faye. But they knew I wasn’t coming. They understood why. They supported my staying home. They were good friends like that.
“I can walk my dying ass home,” Miss Crabapple said. “You go, right now. Those are your people. Your friends. You’ve been hiding so long, Emily, it’s good to see life in your eyes.”
I looked over at Buzzy.
She was still writing.
“I’ll get the kid home too,” Miss Crabapple said. “I don’t need to be a victim here. I have cancer. I’m dying. Big deal. I still have some life to live. You have a lot more than me, Emily. Don’t waste it.”
So what was I supposed to do?
Just show up to Ernie’s club and walk on stage and sing?
Maybe that’s exactly what I was supposed to do.
Dozer smiled when he saw me and ushered me right in.
I had my guitar strapped to my back and felt out of place. Like the first time I entered the club.
The place was packed.
The stage was empty.
My heart raced fast.
I tried to keep along the side wall, looking for Carla and Faye.
The first person I spotted was Ernie.
He stood at a table, engaged in a vibrant conversation.
When he saw me, he patted some guy’s shoulder and pointed to me.
I put my hands up and approached him.
“The best damn singer I ever heard,” he said. “She’s back.”
“Ernie, I’m sorry…”
“Never be,” he said. “Tell me you’re getting up on that stage tonight. If not, I have to open the mic and who knows who will get on stage. I don’t need a bunch of drunk chicks singing that Journey song like it’s a fucking wedding.”
I smiled. “Right. Do you know where-”
“Emily!” Carla’s voice yelled into my left ear.
I turned just in time for her to hug me.
I started to laugh.
Faye was close behind.
“I expect you three on stage in ten minutes,” Ernie said. “Oh, by the way, Emily… I want you to do a solo show. Just you and the guitar up there. Okay? I can pay you for that one. See what kind of crowd we can get.”
“What?” I asked. “I would never do that without Carla and Faye.”
“I told him to offer it to you,” Carla said.
“You did?”
“You three can talk this out,” Ernie said. “Ten minutes.”
I looked at Carla. “What…”
“You’re the best,” she said. “You need to do this. Like, seriously. You’re going through a lot of shit in life. Music will save you.”
“She’s right,” Faye said. “You really are the best, Emily. Sorry about everything going on.”
“You’re sorry?” I asked. “I’m sorry. I’ve bailed on you two so much lately.”
“Nobody bailed,” Faye said. “We’re friends. We’re always there for each other.”
“I can’t believe this,” I said. “I feel like I’m going to cry…”
“Come on,” Carla said. “Follow us.”
We walked to the stage but went to the side part of it.
There was no real backstage area, just a hidden side part.
There I took my guitar out of my case.
A piece of paper fell to the floor and Carla swiped it up.
“What’s this?” she asked. “A poem about Liam’s dick?”
“Not funny,” I said.
“Whoa. This is a song.”
“I wrote it last night.”
“You write songs too?” Faye asked. “You’re amazing.”
“I don’t feel it.”
Carla put the paper back in my guitar case and shut it. “Okay. We’ve got to sing in a few. But here’s my speech… what the fuck are you going to do? Wait around and do nothing? Let this guy slip away? Even if he’s wrong… even if you don’t see yourself with him for the rest of your life… you have to face him. Face it all. Just like you face this stage.”
“And with a broken heart, write more songs,” Faye said. “I mean, if your heart is broken.”
“Even confused,” Carla said.
“I think I get the point,” I said. “Right now, I just want to be Emily, the singer. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“Good,” Carla said. “I’m so happy you’re here. That you showed up.”
“Me too,” I said. “You two mean a lot to me.”
“I thought we were going to have to call Robin,” Faye said. “She’s grumpy as hell right now. She’s got morning sickness all day.”
“Ouch,” I said.
“I hate throwing up,” Carla said.
“Then stop sleeping with Ernie,” Faye teased.
“Be quiet,” Carla said. “I think Ernie is sexy.”
“Sure,” Faye said.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Dozer can bench press a car. Big deal. He has no brains.”
“I don’t care about the size of his brains,” Faye said.
“Just make sure he stays away from the steroids,” Carla said. “I heard they can make things smaller.”
“Dozer has a few inches to spare before I lose interest,” Faye said.
I took a deep breath and shook my head.
These were my best friends.
Life was crazy like that.
Ernie’s voice announced us and we walked to the stage.
I felt like everyone was clapping and looking at me.
I looked around at everyone.
I smiled.
I felt tears fill my eyes.
I fought them off.
Tonight, I didn’t need Liam to find my voice.
Chapter Forty-Three
Liam
I shook hands with the interns and told them they were all recommended for a full-time job within the company.
Then I kicked them out of my office with more work to do.
As for me, I was out of there.
I shut my office door and ran from the building like it was
