As it did often, my mind melted away from the act. An expert by now. What she thought of me. Though, I didn’t have to put much effort into it, as only a minute or so later, he let out a choked sound as he came, ejaculating into the back of my throat, moaning. “Oh, fuck, yes.”
Then it was over, and as I fixed myself, the sly smile on his face only revealed the truth I knew to be true. That there were sick people even in this world. The one my mother threw me away for.
There was part of me that wanted Milton to burst through that door and gun Scott down like some dark guardian angel. He’d call Blake, who would ride down here, only to see me on my knees with another man’s seed thick in my throat. He would spit on Scott’s dead body, but the fury he’d have for me would’ve been my main goal.
He’d put the tip of his gun against my temple, pull the trigger, and the nightmare would be over.
But none of that happened.
After tucking himself away, Scott left me on the balcony and returned to the party. I felt dirty. Disgusting. There was no Milton. No Blake about to kill me. I was just the whore they molded me to be. The perfect victim…and I was sick of it.
Days blend together since Milton left, and nothing has happened. I come to the realization then that maybe he’s not coming back at all and was just making me think he was so that I’d torture myself.
I should be relieved, yet there’s an emptiness inside of me that’s too hard to ignore. He’s gone, and I hate him for it.
Another morning arrives, and sunlight beams inside my room. The human alarm clock next door has been wailing since seven. Every day at seven. She then woke the psychopath opposite of me, who screamed at her to shut the fuck up, or she would rip her throat out. While usually, both would irritate me, I’m distracted, my mind haunted by the man who has always been an enigma since the moment he walked into my life.
Flipping onto my back, I pull the blanket over my face to shield the brightness. Although it’s November, my room is like a sauna this morning with the central heating and sunlight. There’s no air, and my body aches from the heat.
Grabbing the end of my nightdress, I scrunch it between my legs, trying to ease the pulse there. But the material chafes against me, and I groan from how nice it unexpectedly feels. Licking my dry lips, I squeeze tighter, and gasp.
“Do it.” His voice punctures my thoughts. And while I know he’s not truly here, I imagine he is. Lifting my dress, I run my finger along the top of my panties, throbbing for me to touch myself. To relieve whatever he started. “Go on. You know you want to.”
Slipping my fingers down my panties, I moan as I touch myself, surprised by how slick I am. How wet. Grazing my fingers over my clit, I focus on the area Milton was licking before pushing two fingers inside of myself.
I whine, my insides soaking and hot. “There you go. Now come for me.”
Biting my bottom lip, I do what I did again. Circling my clit and pushing my fingers inside of me. Each time, I go deeper, the pleasure building.
I think of Milton. Think of what it would be like to kiss him, his lips against mine. Hands touching me like I wanted him to do all those years ago.
My skin dampens as I tug the button of my dress open and touch my breast, gasping when I twist my hard nipple in my thumb and finger.
I’m close…just a little…more—
“Morning, Heidi.” The door flies open with a thud, and I yelp in shock. Quickly pulling my hand away from between my legs, I poke my head out from beneath the cover. Vera stands in the doorway, taking in my tousled state with her eyebrow raised. “It’s only me. Time to take your meds.”
“Right.” I’m flustered and embarrassed as I sit up. Ignoring the violent ache rippling my core, I take the tablets and a cup of water she gives me. Putting them in my mouth, I swallow them down after taking a gulp of water, just wanting her to go away so I can die from embarrassment.
“You have a meeting in half an hour,” she says, jotting something down on her iPad before leaving. When I know she’s gone, I fling myself back down on my bed and breathe out in frustration.
Fuck sake. The only thing I’ve done is made myself worse.
Eventually, pulling myself out of bed, I get dressed. I’m uncomfortable and need a cold shower, but I won’t have time. After eating a quick breakfast in the cafeteria, Vera comes for me again, taking me to Dr. Rogue’s office. My heart sinks when I see her as I walk inside her brightly lit office.
“Heidi.” She smiles that annoying fake smile that makes my insides clench with hate. She’s sat in her usual fancy chair, perfect as ever, wearing all white. “It’s good to see you again. Come in.”
Walking inside, I take a seat, something she’s shocked by. So am I. Since when do I make it easy for her?
“How are you?” All I can do is stare at her, the painting I hate taunting me from the wall. I try my best not to look at it, scared of what I will see this time.
Instead, I watch as she grabs her stupid pen and begins writing down shit in a brand-new folder with my name on it. “What are you writing?” I ask darkly. “That I’m not paying attention?”
She lifts her gaze to look at
