The Russian opened the back door and nearly fell out. “Come, Noah. We have good food and you tell us why you screw up so much.”
Noah let out the longest sigh in history and trudged behind the group. A woman in a black apron was waiting for them and led them to a table near an open kitchen.
“You know I don’t actually care about any of this, right?” Noah said, dropping like a grumpy teenager into a chair.
“That hurts my feelings,” Mack said. “We’re making memories.”
The woman in the apron returned with a tray of mimosas. Noah ordered water instead.
Mack sighed and waited until the woman walked away before turning his attention to Noah. “We have about ten minutes before they bring the food out. So let’s hear it. What the hell did you do?”
“You assume this is all my fault?” Which, of course, it was.
The guys exchanged one of their annoying looks and then burst into laughter. “Of course it’s your fault, dumbass,” Colton said.
“We need all the details,” Malcolm said, “so we can fully understand the situation.”
“The details are little fucking personal.”
“We understand—”
Noah interrupted Malcolm. “And we’re talking about Alexis here, okay? I’m not exactly comfortable talking about her like this.”
Mack sighed. “You’re part of book club, Noah. Being uncomfortable is part of book club.”
“Just get it all out fast, like ripping off a Band-Aid,” Malcolm offered.
So, with a deep sigh, Noah rattled off as few specifics as possible. When he was done, silence greeted him.
“Let me make sure I have this straight,” Malcolm said after a moment. “She initiated it? As in, she kissed you first?”
Noah’s chest got warm and tight all at once. “Yes, she kissed me first.”
“Did she, like, throw herself at you with, like, arms and legs?” Colton asked.
“Or was it more tender, like a nudging of the mouth?” That was from the Russian, who didn’t look like he could possibly even understand the word tender much less display it.
Noah looked away. “Tender, I guess. At first.” Christ, this was embarrassing. He thought explaining the whole she looked at my nipples thing was humiliating, but this was going to kill him.
Malcolm stroked his beard. “And you stopped her?”
“Not right away. It got kind of . . .” Noah’s cheeks ignited.
“Kind of what?” Mack asked, doing his best and failing to keep the yeah, baby from his expression. Noah was going to enjoy hitting him soon. Hard.
“It became more than kissing?” Malcolm prodded.
“Jesus, yes.”
Colton leaned forward. “Was there nudity involved?”
“What?”
“Nudity,” the Russian explained. “It means naked.”
“I fucking know what nudity means! And no, there was no nakedness.”
Malcolm gave the Russian and Colton disapproving looks. “How long did it last?” he asked, returning his attention to Noah.
Forever and not long enough. “A few minutes.”
Colton grinned. “So, was it just kissing or did you get some grinding action too?”
Noah flipped him off.
Mack jumped back in. “Just tell us what happened next.”
Noah scrubbed a hand over his hair. “She started unbuttoning my jeans. And I panicked, and so I told her we should stop, and the next thing I know, she’s running out of the house.”
Colton gaped. “Why did you stop kissing her? Isn’t that what you wanted? To take the relationship deeper?”
“Yeah, but I wanted to make sure she wanted the same thing!”
“How many more signs do you need?” Mack blurted.
“You guys don’t understand. She’s going through a lot right now. She had just come from her father’s house and was upset. I didn’t want to take advantage of that.” Not to mention the fact that all of his brain cells were lodged in the largest, most painful erection he’d ever experienced.
“So instead you just made her feel rejected?” Colton snarked. “Nice going, whistle dick. No wonder she told you she needs space. You embarrassed her.”
“I wasn’t rejecting her!”
“She came to you after being rejected by her father,” Malcolm said. “She worked up the courage to act on her feelings for you, and you put a stop to it. What else was she supposed to think?”
Indignation merged with shame. “It’s your fault. If you guys hadn’t given me that stupid book and—”
Mack grinned. “So you did keep reading.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Noah dragged a hand over his beard. “Yes, I kept reading. But only because you guys filled my head with these crazy ideas. You screwed up my relationship with her!”
“Dude, you’re the one who kissed her and freaked out,” Mack said.
“And flashed your happy trail at her,” Colton added.
The Russian giggled. “Frank and beans.”
Malcolm waved his hands. “We’re missing a step. At which point in all of this did you tell her how you feel about her?”
The table got quiet. Noah winced and looked at his lap.
“Noah, you did tell her how you feel about her, right?” Malcolm said.
“I—not exactly.”
The reaction that followed could not have been more violent if he’d been caught cosplaying Kylo Ren with a white lightsaber. The group exploded in a burst of swear words and pounding fists.
“You idiot!” Mack finally sputtered.
Colton snorted and shook his head. “You realize you’re a giant fucking moron, right?”
A sour taste stung the back of his throat. “I tried to talk to her,” Noah protested. “She won’t listen to me.”
Mack snorted and looked at Malcolm. “What would you say is your pet peeve about poorly crafted romance novels?”
Malcolm crossed his arms. “That would be when two adult characters avoid having a grown-up conversation that could change the course of the story.”
Two waiters emerged from the kitchen then, balancing heavy trays of what looked like twenty different plates. The Russian clapped and tucked a napkin in his shirt. Noah didn’t share his enthusiasm. His appetite was nonexistent. He picked listlessly at various options but barely tasted the food and ignored the conversation about which items Mack should pick for the wedding.
Malcolm nudged him with his knee. “You know what I love most about the books?”
