“I love you back, Patrick Steel.”
Chapter 22
“Look for a way to lift someone up. And if that’s all you do, that’s enough.”
~Elizabeth Lesser
Savvy
He wants to scream it from the rooftop, but I want it to stay between us. He knows I hate labels. I think he gets that, but I also know it’s because I don’t want shit from everyone who has heard me profess to liking girls.
Truth be told, I’ve never been with a girl. I just knew I hated men. But I hated men mostly because of my horrible experiences with them growing up, and because of the way I absorbed that from the people I used to be around. I still hate capitalism and men who use their money and position to hold people—women—back. But I have to admit there are women who do the same, so …
Patrick and his family, even Justice, who is an asshole, aren’t men who seem to fall into that category.
I’ve already lived a lifetime before this one, a full lifetime of springs, summers, falls, and winters. A lifetime that had a beginning, middle, and an end. I came to this lifetime with more knowledge than most, due to my constant reading; and more enlightenment, due to living in so many communities. But with all of those things, I admit I also carried baggage and scars, prejudices and stereotypes. I held onto those things as if they were treasures that would remind me I wasn’t alone. But now she’s gone, and I’m still here. And, unlike her, I will choose to live.
Patrick’s family, the one in which is apparently going to become my community at some point in the future, are truly precious and as strong as their last name, Steel.
Over the past few weeks, so many things have gone on, things that would have me backing myself into a corner, and even though he knows I am not ready to be involved, he keeps me in the loop.
Truth and Tobias are together. They’re actually the most perfect and also most coveted couple at Seashore. I love that for her but hate the bitches who smile in her face yet would gladly be on Tobias Easton’s arm.
Tobias is handing over the torch to Justice, and apparently, he’s taking it … reluctantly, and only because he doesn’t want Harrison to become king shit, on a mountain of his own making. I know how they run things, and I know Tobias—although not legally, per say—made it so the rich kids basically help those who were not, by setting up parties and fights that they worked and made untaxable money by making everyone want invites to them and had to pay for the privilege. Justice also had to agree to date Gabrielle, Queen Bee, the richest and meanest of the girls here. Patrick said he’s not happy about that at all.
I have paid a bit more attention in the classes I have with them, and I think there’s more to it. The way she looks at him, and he at her, when the other isn’t paying attention, is much different than the hate-mance that Patrick talks about.
About a week ago, two more boys were born into the Steel family, and all I have to say is, Look out, world.
Today, after school, there was a baseball game against their old school that Amias and Justice played in. Amias is the stronger player of the two. I watched from the hill behind the field, sitting in the trees, and I used binoculars. Sounds freakishly odd, borderline stalkerish, but I wanted to see the dynamics. I was a bit shocked when I saw Gabrielle sitting with the family. And I felt for her when I saw her expression half the time. She was uncomfortable.
Makes me feel sick to my stomach that, one day, very soon, I will be in that position, and someone like Gabrielle is much more apt to handle it than me.
Their old school lost, and they all celebrated with them all going to dinner. Apparently, the other family with them has decided to enroll their children here next year. I can’t wait to see the look on Harrison’s face when he realizes he’s going to be even more outnumbered. Fucker.
Sitting in the art studio, music going, I am finishing up the last batch of plates for the fundraiser next week.
I know the Peace Corps has always been my calling, but taking four years of art classes would be cool, as well. Pretty much anyone will take me, and because of my GPA being a 4.6, I’d get a full ride.
When two hands cover my eyes, I barely startle. I know those hands, and I know that smell.
I turn off the wheel and lean back.
“Need any help?”
I smile as he leans down and kisses me.
“How was your dinner?” I ask when he steps back.
“Always a joy.” He winks. “You think you’ll have these all done by next weekend?”
“Yes, one hundred percent sure.”
He pulls up a stool and sits behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder, his legs against mine. “Can you work like this?”
“I think I can manage.”
“Good. You mind if I take a nap?”
“So, you’re using me as a place to rest before you go to Gabrielle’s party.”
“Come with me,” he says, kissing my exposed shoulder and sending goose bumps up and down my arms.
I hit the button on the floor with my foot and turn the machine back on.
Chuckling, he tugs my earlobe with his teeth. “I think you should stay with me tonight.”
“Yeah?” I laugh. “And how would your parents feel about that?”
“They’d actually be fine with it. I told you they would like for me to live with them forever and ever and ever, which is why they redid the pool house into a Patrick palace.”
“You left out the whole when-you’re-eighteen part.”
He wraps his arms around my waist. “So fucking close. I’m sure they’d be chill, Savvy.” He runs his hand up my shirt and cups one
