Chapter Nine
Zee
My hands shook as I tried to push the buttons to call Jackie. I needed to get it together and fast. I needed some distance to do that. The ringing through my blue-tooth ended abruptly and the noisy sounds of the bar filled the line. I wondered if Delaney was dancing with Alex again.
“Hey, are you heading home?” thank goodness for Jackie. She was great at cutting to the chase and right now I didn’t need any bullshit.
“Yeah, sorry, I just had to get out of there,” I cursed the tears I could feel burning in my throat. I would not cry. It was not that serious.
“I get it,” I could hear the pity in Jackie’s voice, and I couldn’t deal with that right then. I quickly got off the phone with her as I pulled up to my apartment building. Delilah’s car wasn’t home yet, and I was happy to be off the hook. I really wanted to spend the night thinking. I drug myself into the house and collapsed on my bed.
I wasn’t this girl. Guys didn’t get under my skin. I dated, but there were never feelings that scared me, like what I felt with Alex. A week was not enough time to become attached to someone. But still, no matter what I tried to tell myself I knew I had feelings for Alex. Not love, that would be crazy, but something that could become love if I let it.
Watching him with Delaney had almost driven me to a girly fist fight with the snotty girl. My first thought had been, He’s mine! I seriously considered clocking her in her perky little nose when she put her hand in his pants. I was so angry at him for bringing Delaney to the bar, and angry at myself for caring so much.
When he walked into the alley, I’d been ready to take all my anger out on someone. He seemed the best target, too, since he’d started all of this. Then he had to go and spill all his feelings. What kind of guy did that? It was amazing and aggravating, because all my righteous anger disappeared, and I let him kiss me into a melted puddle of forgiveness. The growl had been my undoing. I had no idea that a growl could be so sexy. Then he pulled away like an asshat. His eyes were the brilliant amber that I never understood, and they were full of so many emotions. I couldn’t comprehend it all and I had to get away from him.
There was just too much going on in my head and I finally flipped out my bedroom light and collapsed on my bed. I hoped that sleep would help me find some perspective about this whole mess. My sleep was restless, and I woke up feeling no better about my situation. I shuffled into the kitchen in my lounge pants and tank top to find Delilah eating a bowl of cereal at the small kitchen table with a book in front of her.
“Saw you were home when I got in last night,” Delilah observed. I poured myself some coffee before facing my sister. I knew she would have questions, or an opinion and I needed to be awake for it. When I turned around, Delilah was eyeing my ratty appearance.
“I kissed Alex yesterday,” I blurted out. I waited for an explosion of excitement from her, but she just nodded thoughtfully. “I mean we kissed on our date in the morning, but last night he pissed me off. He let some girl hang all over him all night. Then he had some lame story about being responsible for her and her just being a friend. But really, what kind of friend sticks their hand down your pants in front of God and country? Then he had this spiel about why he liked me. So of course, I fell for it and kissed him. It was… amazing.” I sighed and collapsed in a chair and laid my head on my arms on the table.
“Look, Zee, I don’t like to butt in, but maybe Alex is just too complicated,” Delilah’s book thudded closed and I looked up to find her looking at me. “How well do you even know this guy? It wasn’t so bad for some friendly flirting, but a relationship?”
“So, you were fine with me sleeping with a perfect stranger, but now that I’m getting to know him and have feelings for him, you don’t think it’s a good idea?” I asked her angrily. She’s the one that pushed me at him in the first place. “I know more about him than past boyfriends. He’s been open and honest with me, and he’s incredibly sweet. I’m not going to quit dating him just because some snooty bitch is jealous of me.”
Delilah’s face broke out into a sunny smile. She flipped her book back open and went back to munching her cereal while she read. The little brat. She’d gotten me to admit my feelings, and to how ridiculous I was being.
********
I was a nervous mess when I walked into the bar. I had no idea how I would explain how I had acted to Alex. I didn’t even know if he would show up. Maybe he decided I wasn’t worth the drama. His normal seat at the bar was empty, and when I glanced around, I didn’t see him at any of the tables. I hoped he would show up later.
My night was a busy whirlwind of guys grabbing my butt, beer, and shitty tips. The music was blasting country all night and
