I was on board with Grumbler’s suggestion not to keep this quiet. I’d also given in to his demands for a wedding—not that that was going to be anything like my first. When I’d married Dave, I’d had a dream ceremony—a white dress, a big cake and a reception full of friends and family. The only guests I was inviting this time were Kristen and Terra. Just a quiet exchange of vows, that would be enough for him, and sufficient to give Grumbler what he wanted, me taking his name officially.
That he’d managed to grab a cancelled slot had brought forward the agenda, another couple backing away before tying the knot had granted us the opportunity.
Today, Grumbler’s telling his brothers everything, and wants me to become more of a part of the club. Strangely enough, the men no longer scare me, not when I’m going to be officially part of his life.
These past few weeks, Grumbler and I have kept to ourselves, needing no one else’s input while we make our life-changing decisions.
Now, I’ve one more hurdle to jump. My hands are sweaty, and my heart’s beating fast. “Alicia?” I call up the stairs in the house which has so quickly become home. We’d gone back and forth about telling her, but with me starting to be sick in the mornings, and tiredness already taking its toll, soon she’d be aware things weren’t normal.
“Coming.”
I don’t know what it is. The change of scenery? The fact Grumbler pays her so much attention may well help, providing a buffer between mother and daughter who go head-to-head so often. Or it may be that he’s bought her a car. Whatever it is, Alicia’s been a pleasure to live with since we moved to this spot. It does help that Marisa likes to stay here a lot, being envious of the huge room and private bathroom my daughter now has.
“Whatcha want, Mother?” Some things never change, I muse, watching her make a beeline for the cupboard and pulling out a bag of chips. Her eyebrow cocks when she sees the smirk on my face.
“Sit down, I’ve some things to discuss with you.”
“Uh oh. Sounds serious.” Suddenly her hand stills even though it’s in the bag. “You and Grumbler aren’t splitting up, are you?”
My eyes roll. “You think?”
She shrugs. “You can’t keep your hands off each other, so I’d like to say no, but adults are so damn confusing at times.”
I swallow hard. “You like him, don’t you?”
She nods, unable to speak as she’s resumed eating the chips.
“Would you mind if we got married?”
“Well, duh. Of course not.” Her brow furrows. “Though shouldn’t he ask me for your hand or something?”
I’m sure that can be arranged. “Actually, he’s managed to get a date at the courthouse… next weekend.” My voice rises, making it almost a question.
Her eyes snap to mine. “That fast?” She digests that for a moment, then, says with a laugh. “Is there anything I should know, Mother?”
I didn’t raise a stupid daughter, she’ll know, especially when a blush appears on my face.
“Oh my God, Mom. There is. Don’t tell me you’re pregnant?” Her eyes study me, waiting for a denial I can’t give.
“Mom!” Her voice is so shrill it’s like fingernails on a blackboard.
Damn my expressive face and my reddened cheeks. “Alicia, you know those talks we had about sex. How I always told you to be careful.”
She shakes her head. “Time and time again. Are you going to tell me you didn’t take your own advice?”
I bite my lip. “Grumbler and I have been careful, but not careful enough.” I glance up at her through my eyelashes.
“You’re really pregnant?”
For a response, I nod, then hold my breath as I wait.
“Is that why you’re getting married? Is that what you want, or because you were careless, and he knocked you up?”
“We weren’t careless.” Well, maybe Grumbler was by not checking the expiration date on the condoms. “We were unlucky. But no, Grumbler and I would get married, whether I was pregnant or not.”
“Christ, Mom. I don’t know what to say or think.”
It’s hard to tell whether she’s disgusted, or pleased, or something in between.
“So, I may have a baby brother or sister?” Her brow furrows as she ponders on that, and I watch while she comes to a decision. “Cool.”
“But, I’m not young, Alicia. I could lose the baby. The doctor doesn’t give very good odds.”
“Mom.” Alicia puts down the chips and moves closer to me. “Is it dangerous for you, at your age? Would it be safer to terminate? I don’t mind what you do, Mom. I’m just worried for you.” She’s the adult now, taking my hand and squeezing it, then she looks into my eyes, examining what she reads there. “You really want this, don’t you?”
“It’s crazy, sweetie, and sometimes I think I shouldn’t. But I do. Grumbler does too.” I still can’t work out whether she’s happy or not, or worried for me.
“Just promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“If the doctor advises it, you won’t carry on. I,” her voice breaks, “I’ve lost my dad, I can’t lose you.”
That’s an easy assurance to make. “I’ll do everything the doctor says, Alicia.”
Her head bows, and again I can’t read her. But when she looks up, a grin lights up her face. “I want a sister. Not sure about a brother, but I suppose I’ll put up with him. I hope it works out, Mom.”
Relief floods through me as the sound of a motorcycle reaches my ears. Grumbler’s home.
Alicia jumps up, ready to greet
