“What the fuck?” My hands are itching to get on that fuckin’ bastard, especially now I know the shit he’s into. Such instruction goes against the grain.
Prez ignores my interruption. “Niran, Curtis. You want to go on a stakeout tonight?”
“Yeah, ‘cause we’ll be hidden by the dark. We’ll blend in.” Niran shows there’s no animosity behind his comment by his wide grin.
“As long as you don’t smile, Brother.” Blaze can’t help getting his dig in.
Lost slices his hand through the air, and the ribaldry stops. “No. Not because of the fuckin’ colour of your skin, but because we don’t want Devon to know Satan’s Devils are after him, and he probably doesn’t expect us to have Black members.” His eyes fall on Niran, then he looks at the prospect. “And, because, you’ve both got the skills needed. You’ve done surveillance before when you served.”
Curtis had been a member of the military police. He’ll know what to do, and Niran? Well, he was a Marine.
“I’ll get Pennywise and Connor out of the house. They can make sure it looks untouched. Token…”
“I’ll sort the alarm out, get it reset.” Token doesn’t look happy as he answers the prez, but he’ll do what he has to.
There’s a moment when we all continue to watch Lost, but as he seems to have said all he needs to, most start to wander out. Dart steps up, frowning, and I, hanging around, overhear.
“Swift? How’s that going to go down, Prez?”
Lost shrugs. “She’s a member, she’ll get due respect.”
But as he says it, I wonder if it’s going to be that easy. Sounds like tomorrow we’ll have a woman sitting around the table in church, and I, for one, am not sure how I’ll take it.
“Grumbler?” Lost notices I’m still there.
“You need me, Prez?”
His eyes soften. “Nah. Not until the morning. Sounds like there’s nothing more we can do until then.”
It’s probably a good move not to send me to watch out for Devon. I’d find it hard to follow instructions just to follow him and keep my hands to myself.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Grumbler
I killed men when I served, but they were the enemy, nameless targets I pointed my gun at following orders. Did they deserve it? Well, it was either them or us- so clearly, they did.
When I first joined the MC, it was far more violent than it is nowadays, and we had to fight for our turf, again, a case of survival depending on who shot first.
For the past three years I’ve been sergeant-at-arms, willing to kill for the safety of the club or, as in this case, justice. Poke, for years, had acted as executioner for Snake. I’d watched on as he killed in cold blood, ending lives almost on a whim. I’d accepted that if there was a need, I could be like him, though I wouldn’t approach the task with anything like pleasure.
I’d felt nothing when Shark had died a few months back, tortured first of course. He’d been one of the members who’d followed Snake and who had turned up working for Alder of all things. It was the whole club dispatching Shark to meet Satan, everyone wanting to get their punches in. Lost had fired the bullet, but in my view, Shark was probably dead by then.
Today was the first time I personally took the life of a man in our brig. Not coldly, fuck, I was irate with rage. I out of everyone had the most reason to want him dead, but it still gets to a man, ending a life of someone who can’t fight back. I’ve no doubt I was right to do it, nor that my reasons were just. But there’s still an unease inside me. Maybe the smell of cordite sent me right back to dark days when I was serving my country.
There’s one thing I know. I’d do the same thing again and again.
Does the fact that my hands are now shaking make me weak? Fuck no. Dart had confided when he was drunk one night that the scary-ass motherfucker of an enforcer, Blade, from Tucson, always threw up after he’d done some torturing. It’s a natural reaction and won’t last long. I should be celebrating that the earth’s rid of scum like Owen, not trying to justify why it had been at my hand.
In some ways, I feel cheated. I’d expected his death would wipe the slate clean for Alicia, but it’s an empty resolution where she’s concerned. First, she must never know about it, more importantly, second, even if she did, it wouldn’t negate the fact that it happened and that he’d deceived her and robbed her of her innocence. Then there’s the fact that the film of her is still out there, and someone could be watching it right now. A willing young girl? That could be on any porn channel, not even one hidden on the dark web. That’s what I’ve got to make right for her. What I can’t stomach most is that I can’t throttle the truth out of Devon tonight. That’s what’s making me vibrate with anger.
I dispatched Owen to meet Satan, but he was only a substitute for the man I want worse. That fucking video Token had found—it was beyond sickening. Trouble is, try as I might, I can’t get it out of my mind.
Kids should be kept safe, cherished, not abused, and certainly not to satisfy the depraved appetites of twisted men. I shake my head trying to clear it, but the little I’d seen replays in my head on a loop. How did Token watch the whole thing? I might not know how he stomached it, but I’m grateful he did. Even hearing about how it ended had broken me.
Now I’m told I have to wait for retribution until tomorrow. It’s too fucking long to wait.
Exiting the brig, I take a moment to breathe in
