“Really?” She tsked. “I thought we talked about it earlier? Anyway, doesn’t matter as long as we’re going. I’ll take my magazine and make some notes on ingredients along the way. Do you know where we can get some cannabis-infused butter?”
“No, Gigi.”
“I guess we’ll have to make it, then. Maybe they have some dishes like that at the Chinese restaurant. Wouldn’t that be a hoot.”
“A total hoot.”
Suddenly, an evening of Samson and Tris glaring at one another seemed more normal than one having noodles with my grandmother. I washed my face, combed my hair, and prayed Hunan Palace didn’t serve anything controversial.
Chapter Thirteen
“You rang?” I asked in my best Lurch voice, popping my head into Samson’s office a few days later. He was on the phone but used two fingers to wave me in then pointed at the sofa against the wall instead of my usual spot in the hot seat right in front of his desk.
Weird.
I sat on the sofa and watched him do his alpha thing. He scribbled some things then argued with whoever was on the other line he didn’t believe whatever they’d suggested was the best course of action. His shoulders were broad and strong, and I wondered what it would be like to have those arms wrapped around me. Yeah, he was Tris’ twin, but for some reason, I knew being with Samson would be completely different than being with Tris.
I shuddered just thinking about it.
“Is it cold in here?” he asked, breaking me out of my bubble.
“No, not at all.” Gods, he must’ve seen me shiver. Men were so oblivious to what things really meant. “What’s up?” I asked, not able to deal with this tension between us anymore. It was almost easier not to see him—almost.
“I needed to get some things off my chest.”
Ooohh…shit. Here we go.
“Come sit down, Samson. You’re too far away.” I patted the seat next to me, and he complied, sort of, but sat a half foot away.
“I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, Christie. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Even when I’m trying to pay attention to meetings or a TV show, it’s no use. All my thoughts go to you.”
My breath caught in my lungs, and my entire body went rigid. This was it. He was finally letting go of his hang-ups and would be mine. My wolf rejoiced and rolled over inside me.
“I don’t see that as a problem.”
He pulled his hair at the roots. “I do. You’re mated to my enemy. What am I supposed to do?”
My heart fell out of my chest and smashed onto the floor. Not literally, of course. Just when I’d thought there was some progress between these two knuckleheads, they both acted like this. “Tris is not your enemy. And I’ve known for quite a while both of you are meant for me. You think all of this can be handled by just one man?” I waved my hands down my body, attempting to shatter the glacier between us and failing.
He didn’t crack a smile.
“He is my enemy, Christie. He betrayed this pack, and, when I took the alpha oath, I meant it.”
I put my hand on his, and, thank the gods, he didn’t pull it away. “We both know you didn’t know those words were going to be added to the oath. That was really sneaky of your father. You think anyone in this pack will take you less seriously because you overturned an antiquated manipulation of your trust?”
“Yes. It’s my nightmare. All I am is an alpha. I’m not mated. I have no children and no family. I’m alone in this world, so my pack’s trust is all I have. It’s all I have to hold on to.”
“Samson, you have me. You have Tris. I am your family.”
He swallowed and took his hand from mine to scrub his face. All of this was taking its toll on my mate, mentally and physically. Something had to give, or else I was sure he would pop from the pressure.
“It feels like betrayal. But not being with you feels like I’m betraying my mate. That’s supposed to be your first priority, your mate, and it makes me feel like I’m sinking. I can’t betray you, Christie. You’re everything.”
“But…” I prompted and then felt like a turd. What we should be doing is kissing or mating. Instead, we were having a therapy session. Everything with Samson felt like one step forward and ten steps back.
“But I just can’t yet. I…” He got up, and I could tell Alpha Samson had returned and in full force. The stern brow. The grinding jaw. They were all back. “Did you want to go with me later and search for the girl? Maybe find a trail and some clues?”
“Sure.” I mentally picked myself up from the floor, feeling like I’d been beaten.
“Christie, I’m sorry. I would understand if you gave up on me.” His words were so soft I barely heard him.
“It sounds like you’ve already given up on yourself, Samson. But the thing is, I’ve known you were to be my mate since…well, a long time. I loved you then, and I love you now. I will wait. You might give up on yourself, but I never will. Just don’t wait until we’re old and gray, okay? I’d like to have some of your kids one day.”
I didn’t wait for him to stomp on my heart anymore—didn’t give him the chance to answer. I simply left and shut the door behind me. No slamming. No stomping. Just quietly left him to his own misery.
Chapter Fourteen
I was upset, disgusted, and somewhat despairing, but that
