“Touch her, and I will end you and everything else.”
Raphael stared into my eyes. “You mean it.”
“I mean it. Leave my Court.”
Raphael breathed heavily. Maybe he would strike her, maybe not. If he touched her with his power, I would declare a war with his Court, one his Court wouldn’t survive. Perhaps he knew that, because he lifted, and I opened the roof. In a blink, he was gone.
One step at a time, as if the exercise exhausted me, I climbed the stairs, Julia quietly crying in my arms. I almost felt her pain. Almost. I hadn’t felt pain for as long as I could remember. Upstairs, the light benders stayed silent as I carried her into my room. With her in my arms, I sat on the chair and stroked her hair. “It’s going to be all right.”
Obviously, she was special because she was mine, her soul granted to me as a gift, for which I was grateful. I intended to keep her soul, not send it back. Meaning, not send Julia into the Heavens. I needed her alive and well and here on Earth with me for as long as her time allowed, which was, sadly, only a tiny fraction of the time allotted to me.
Depressing thoughts of my immortality and her mortality swirling in my head, I stared at the Sword of Creation boxed inside a pile of rocks and covered in wintergreen, appearing as if it belonged on the lawn with all the other wintergreen bushes around it. Lucifer couldn’t sense it, and even if he could, even if I left it shining right in the middle of my Court, he wouldn’t be able to wield it. Very few of us could.
“Julia,” I said.
She ceased crying but didn’t answer.
I decided it was time Julia understood me. Most people couldn’t, but if she was to breed with me, I must share parts of myself with her. “Every angel out there wants to be elevated,” I began. “Either in power or grace or skill. They train, they fight, they watch how I move and replicate my movements. They swear they can do what I do, and yet, most aren’t granted higher rank. Do you know why? Because when it comes to managing a crisis, they don’t know what to do. They can’t make decisions.
“In a time of crisis, a leader must remain calm and in control so that those under him can rely on his ability to handle the crisis. It is often at the time of crisis that one has to make quick decisions, and the wrong decision could cost them three times as many people. It takes courage and great resolve to make hard decisions. While everyone wants the power to change the world, not everyone dares to make hard decisions, and, more importantly, own those decisions, face his people in the aftermath. Most people want easy. They like easy, and that’s fine. I like hard. Leading is hard. Winning is hard. Making the right decisions that will affect the masses is hard. The thing that separates Raphael, me, Gabriel, and sadly, Lucifer from the rest is that we are willing to do whatever it takes. Sometimes it takes having no mercy. So, Julia, if you expect apologies from me with regards to the hall, you will receive none. It is simply a decision I made out of a need to contain the crisis. My conscience is clear.”
Julia looked up and nodded.
I squeezed her hip. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but I care that you understand me.”
“I saw them running to the doors. They weren’t Marked.”
“They were soldiers in my Court, brave and unmatched, ready to die for the world. In the front lines, they don’t falter, and neither shall I. Tell me what happened that night when you met Lucifer.”
She looked away, eyes red and swollen. “Is he dead?”
“No.” I recognized her evasion.
“You can’t kill him, then?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s immortal.”
“But I’ve seen angels kill each other.”
“Those are lesser angels. The kill rules don’t apply to Lucifer.”
“Or you.”
“Or me.”
“Because you’re two sides of the same coin.”
“In essence.”
Julia sat up on my lap, and when I thought she’d tell me of the night she met him, she proved me wrong. One leg landed on the floor, followed by the other, and she stood before me, somehow changed. She touched my hair, threading the strands through her fingertips. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. You’re also an angel of great power and on a mission I could never understand. You’ve destroyed my life and the lives of everyone around you. That can’t be good.”
“And yet it is.”
“How do you know?”
“I know what’s behind the Veil. Something much worse than Lucifer. Something the world can’t imagine.”
“What could be worse than the devil?”
“Are you sure he’s the devil?”
Julia shook her head.
“Forgive me,” I said.
She smiled. “You’re ordering me to forgive you?”
“Yes.”
“Well then, you have a lot to learn about forgiveness.” She walked away, but I couldn’t let her go. The locks clicked. Behind me, she tried opening the door. When she couldn’t, I heard the bed dip and the sheets ruffle.
On my way out, I glanced to see if she’d changed her mind.
Under the comforter, Julia stared into space.
If she wouldn’t tell me what happened, Lucifer would. The door opened, and I exited quietly, closing and locking all the doors and windows behind me. Outside, I locked up the entire House before flying to the former chow hall. Mortals and angels alike gathered there, whispering. I hovered over the bunched metal and spread my arms. The collapsed building lifted, and with my power, I shook it as one would shake flour over a strainer. Broken
