‘How uncouth,’ I muttered to myself.
I took down a couple of ramekins from the cupboard above my head and filled one with some roasted peanuts and the other with salty pretzel-type things. I then put the empty packets in the bin even though the whole kitchen was a write-off. I wondered who would take on the brunt of the cleaning the next day and I already suspected it would be me. But it was fine, I would need the distraction. I found a plastic cup and filled it with water from the tap. I pushed my way past a few huddled bodies and found my way to the back door and headed to the summerhouse. A group of gaggling girls and one lad had already found their way out here. I noticed one of them was smoking. I looked at my newly purchased furniture.
‘I’m afraid there’s no smoking in here,’ I said before I had a chance to prepare which tone of voice I was going to use. Judging by the looks on their faces, I realised I must have used my least warming voice. One girl gave me such a foul look then stood up and pushed past me whilst the other muttered something about me sounding like her school headmaster. The lad took a moment longer to leave, but before he did, he flashed me an embarrassed smile.
I fell onto the sofa and laid my head against the fabric.
‘Enjoying a moment of solitude?’ A voice arrived in the room. For a moment I thought it was the lad who had just left, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Steve standing in front of me. I squinted a little as I tried to get him to come into focus.
‘I see you’ve had a couple of drinks. It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself.’ Through my drunkenness, his voice bore even more of a repellent quality, and I wondered what exactly it was that Karen saw in him. He sat down on the chair. I laid my head back against the sofa again, but I kept my eyes open. We sat in silence for what felt like hours but could only have been minutes, or even seconds.
‘Are you enjoying the party, Regi?’ came Steve’s voice again after I had hoped more than anything that he was just going to disappear from the room and leave me to enjoy some sanctuary. I imagined myself falling asleep in here. I sat up and looked at Steve. His short hair looked even shorter today, as though he might have had it cut just for the occasion. He was wearing a tight black T-shirt, even though he was not very well built at all. I would even go as far as to say he was bordering on skinny, a look that perhaps hadn’t served him well in the army.
I knew Steve was drunk too. I could feel the air between us was charged.
‘How long have you and Karen been together now, Steve?’ I slurred.
He shook his head as he tried to think. ‘I’d say just over a month now. But I’m not very good at keeping count. That’s more you girls’ jobs, isn’t it?’
‘That’s a rather sexist comment to make.’ My voice came out small and rough, but not as offensive as I had anticipated.
‘Well, you think about that kind of stuff more than us. I’m sure Karen has put it in her diary or something. I don’t know. What about you, Regi, no man on the scene?’
I shook my head and leant back against the sofa again. ‘I’m very happy on my own, thank you.’
‘It’s good that you have made that decision and you are comfortable with it. There’s nothing worse than being with someone and knowing they aren’t quite for you.’
I glanced across at Steve, wondering why his words sounded weighted with sadness.
Steve caught my glance and held it. ‘It’s probably best to wait for the right one. Cos when you know, you just know, don’t you?’
It wasn’t even a question; it was a statement. I couldn’t gauge the connotation. I was too drunk and too tired. I suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable, half lying back on the sofa. I realised this was the longest conversation I had had with Steve without anyone else in the room.
‘Hey,’ came a voice from the doorway and we looked away from one another and towards the door, to see Karen standing there sounding and looking breathless as she looked from Steve to me and back to Steve again. ‘Why are you two skulking around in here?’ I couldn’t deny there was a hint of paranoia to her tone.
I looked over at Steve and went to say that it was he who had followed me in here. Perhaps it was our brief conversation, or the sour look on Karen’s face, but something stopped me from saying anything.
As Karen moved closer she began interrogating Steve as to where he had been. My senses rose above Karen’s interrogation and past the open door, where I heard the distinct raised voices of the couple next door again. I stood and left the summerhouse, past the heightening tones of Karen’s voice and into the cooling
