‘Where’s yours?’
‘In the car.’ He looked at me deadpan. ‘I won’t be staying here.’
I scrunched my mouth up and looked around at the vastness to the house again. ‘Right.’ I had been used to being on my own at the other house. This wouldn’t be much different, except you could fit three of our old houses into this one.
‘Where will you be then?’ I asked, but not really caring.
‘I can’t say. Not far.’ I thought for the first time he looked mildly sheepish, like even he knew that whatever crooked business he had managed to involve me and my baby in was possibly a step too far and maybe he felt a little out of his depth. But he continued.
‘You know what to do? You remember the plan?’
I nodded.
‘You stick to it for one year. Then we can look at… adapting things.’
I narrowed my eyes at him. ‘And Baby Boy?’
‘He is safe.’
‘When do I see him?’
‘You’ll see him.’
I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I cast my mind back to all the films I had watched, the happy endings. It was all a fabrication. I had bought the dream and fallen for the wrong man.
40
Now
As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, I was hit by a wall of heat and a musty stench that could have been a mix of body odour, urine and unwashed carpets. The hallway was cloaked in darkness. The one window to my right was draped with a dark piece of mock-up fabric that wasn’t properly attached; the sort of thing students do when they have no sense of what went with what or that a curtain pole could be picked up for next to nothing. My body was tense, ready to turn and head back the way I came. But some unknown force still drove me on. I turned left at the top of the stairs, passed a closed door on the right and headed straight for the end of the hallway where I stood in front of a closed door directly in front of me. I was sure this room would have a window that from the outside would boast a wonderful array of purple blooms and also look out onto one of London’s finest rooftop cinemas. I realised I was now more terrified than I had been in many years. I was no longer trying to suppress a compulsion with a behaviour; I wanted to know; I needed to know. But I hadn’t felt real genuine fear like this since the day it happened. Since the day my world fell from beneath my feet.
It took me a moment to realise that my phone was ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw the same number. I had nothing to lose any more. I had to face up to what I had been running from all this time.
I slid my finger along the screen and put the phone to my ear.
‘It’s me.’ My husband’s voice was urgent.
I blew out a long breath. ‘I know.’
‘I need you to listen to me.’
The urgency in his voice had just increased by another 100 per cent. It was a tone I had heard him use a thousand times.
‘I know where you are and you need to get o—’
The line went silent.
41
Now
I pulled my phone away from my ear and saw that it was completely dead. I had meant to charge it properly when I got to uni, but as I had taken an unexpected detour, I hadn’t noticed the battery life wasting away with every unanswered call. Now I had finally answered it, I had heard that tone that my husband would only use when he wanted people to take him seriously. When he knew that lives were in danger.
I jumped as I heard the sound of the front door slamming. I froze to the spot, barely able to breathe as loud footsteps made their way along the hallway downstairs. The tone of the footsteps changed into a higher echoey frequency, the sort of sound that a smart flat shoe would make on a pristine marble kitchen floor. It was too late for me to get down the stairs and get out, besides I had come this far. If there was anything on the other side that looked like the photo lucybest65 had posted on Instagram, then surely there would be somewhere for me to hide, or someone who could offer me some sanctuary, perhaps call the police. I decided I would take my chance with the unknown on the other side of the door. Whether it be Mrs Clean or lucybest65, there was only one way to find out.
I put my hand on the door handle and pressed down. The door clicked and I began to push it open. I could see the beginnings of a dark room, the smell that had hit me at the top of the stairs was originating in here. I put my hand over my mouth and nose to try to stop some of it penetrating my nostrils. I couldn’t hear anyone coming up the stairs behind me, so I edged into the room and closed the door behind me. My hands were itching to reopen and close the door several times, but the need to assess the room I found myself in was greater. Immediately in front of me, I could see there was a large window with heavy black curtains drawn. A small slither of light was casting itself across the room in a thin strip. I grabbed the heavy black pieces of material and began to pull them apart. The late-afternoon light began to stream through. Since I had been in the house, the clouds that had brought with them a chill to the air had now passed and the sun was creeping through and bringing with it a cascade of colours as a prelude to the
