Eugene served us our lunch, which looked fantastic. I’m not sure what he’d surprised us with—sandwiches of some sort and maybe potato salad—but my stomach grumbled. Eugene and John laughed, I blushed, and Eugene retreated to the kitchen.
After I’d polished off about half the meal, I ventured into the deep waters where I wanted to be.
“What’s going on with you? You’ve been distracted and unhappy the last few days. Tell me.”
He licked some of the sauce off one of his fingers. “You’re not the only one who’s got to make some hard decisions.”
“Oh, yeah?” I tried to keep my voice casual, but I could hear the curiosity and tension in it. Whatever he was about to say was life-changing for him. I could tell.
“Over a year ago, Adam asked me if I wanted to take charge of the kitchen sometimes so that he and David could go on trips. I said yes.” His frown told me this wasn’t going to be a happy story. “I was excited, you know? I’d get a chance to try out some of the plates I thought customers would like. I was prepared for the fact that I wouldn’t pull in the numbers Adam did, but that was fine with me. I mean, I thought maybe word of mouth would help me build a following.” He laughed humorlessly. “I even thought some of the customers might think my cooking was better than Adam’s, especially considering how many nights he’s just dialing it in when he’d rather be with David doing something else.”
“So how many times have you subbed for him?”
He wiped his lips on the paper napkin and threw it on his plate.
“That’s just it. Never. Not once.”
“Ah, shit.”
“Yeah. So I’ve been trying to decide what to do. I have a rep as Adam’s sous. But is that enough to get me another job in a high-end kitchen?”
He was looking down at his plate, but he wasn’t in the restaurant with me. He was somewhere far, far away.
“The alternative?”
He shook himself out of his reverie.
“The Limelight Bar’s about to close. I could start a diner in Old Town. Somewhere people could go for a reasonable meal, maybe breakfast and lunch only. Leave the gourmet stuff to Adam. I don’t know.”
“You’ve got the money to buy the bar?”
His eyes shot me a look as his lips turned up a tiny bit.
“Well, as long as I’ve got the exorbitant rent coming in from my lodger, I could.” He sighed. “But it looks like he’s ready to get out of town.”
“I don’t know if I am or not. I don’t know.”
He frowned down at his hands.
“You don’t have to do anything because of me. You have to live your life for you, not for me.” He was serious, and I was stunned. Okay, I wasn’t exactly Mr. Relationship, and I wasn’t clear on the rules. But didn’t we have to talk about shit like this? Wasn’t this a joint decision? Or weren’t we as close as I thought we were?
I put my hands over his and leaned in toward him over our dirty plates.
“I think you’re wrong.” I whispered it, but he still heard me.
“What?” His head shot up and now he was staring at me. “What do you mean?”
I took a deep breath. Time to put the cards on the table. Fish or cut bait. Grow a pair. Some other shit saying that meant one of us had to make the first move and put his heart on the line to be whacked.
“I thought we were a couple. You know, like boyfriends, only without dotting every I with a heart. I thought couples were supposed to talk about this stuff and make mutual moves. That’s where I thought we were.” I blew out the breath. “Am I wrong? Am I just a holiday fuck?”
“No, no, shit, you’re not wrong. It’s just…” He looked around.
Monique’s was starting to fill up with a minor lunch crowd. With the outdoor seating closed for the winter, it didn’t take many people for it to feel like we were going to be the noontime floor show if we didn’t bring the discussion back to the house or somewhere else private.
My body said loud and clear that we needed to hit the bed first and then talk. I looked down as John stood, and I saw that his body agreed.
Chapter 12
The next day, Beth had us all meet midmorning in the storage area of Cuttings. What little was left of Christmas consisted of broken odds and ends, and a tiny pile of small unmatched gifts—like a single candlestick or one napkin—that Beth said were going to the mother of the boys who’d teased me. The woman was a nurse and used the gifts for her patients. I volunteered to wait for her and lock up afterward while the rest of them left for the day.
Kate started the short staff meeting by bringing us up to date about the business and our parts in it.
“Okay, I’ve given each of you catalogs for your particular areas and a budget. I need to have them back by next week so we can start ordering for later in the spring. In the meantime, Beth’s shipment of houseplants and household accents arrives tomorrow, so we need everything cleaned up today. This afternoon Fen’s going out to the Silver Star and meeting with David Fairbanks about plants for the restaurant. So in the coming year, we’ll be expanding by becoming the local decorative plant supplier for area businesses. Thanks, Fen!”
Beth, who’d been nodding on the sidelines, took over from Kate.
“We’ve hired Ricky full-time as off-site plant keeper. After Fen chooses the plants for a business and we deliver them, Ricky will be in charge of keeping them alive and beautiful. He’s also setting up a permanent kids’ corner here in the nursery. Welcome, Ricky!”
We all clapped and smiled at Ricky, who jumped up and down, laughing and crying. You would have thought he’d won an Academy Award
