“I haven’t eaten in days…” I took a moment to focus my brain, to tell myself that I could do this, that I had to do this. This was exactly what he wanted, to make me so weak that I would be the next victim on that noose…unless I gave him what he wanted.
“Fuck.”
I used my entire body to pick up the box, swaying from the weight, and turned around and slowly made the journey to the table.
The other girls obviously had been watching, so when I came closer, the girl closest to me discreetly helped me get it onto the table, like they’d noticed I didn’t get lunch yesterday and the guard was purposely starving me.
“Thank you,” I whispered under my breath.
When I turned around, my gaze locked on Melanie.
She looked heartbroken, her eyes wet from the tears that quickly evaporated.
I promised her we would get out of here, so I had to keep going.
I had to.
When lunchtime came around, I didn’t get a tray.
Again.
I watched Bethany eat.
She didn’t try to slip me food, because my guard was waiting for the first opportunity to bring someone else down with me—and make me feel even worse. He even came over and stood at the edge of the table, just hovering over us, like he wanted to make sure Bethany didn’t successfully give me anything.
Because he wanted me to break.
I probably wasn’t the first woman he’d done this to.
He didn’t get off on rape. He got off on submission.
If I didn’t want to be the next victim, I’d have to suck his dick.
I literally had to suck his dick to save my life.
I wanted to tell myself that I could keep going, that I didn’t need any food, but if I didn’t get lunch or dinner…I would pass out.
We got back to work, and I was growing weaker by the second. I wasn’t sure how I made it to the end of the day. Time passed so slowly. Every time it felt like three hours had gone by, it’d only been three minutes.
The girls rose from the tables and prepared to return to the cabins.
Bethany walked up to me, a few of the girls at our table coming close and standing nearby. Then Bethany emptied her pockets and stuffed food into my pockets, moving as quickly as she could without dropping anything.
I wanted to cry.
It all happened within ten seconds.
And then the girls walked away…like nothing happened.
In the privacy of my cabin, I ate everything they’d given me.
It was way more food than the contents of a single meal, which meant that several women had given up parts of their meal and handed it over to Bethany to donate to me. There were several pieces of chicken, slices of bread, even a protein bar, grapes, and an entire apple.
Within minutes of finishing everything, I felt better.
I felt alive again.
If I didn’t want the guard to realize what was happening, I had to pretend to be weak, but not so weak that I couldn’t do my job. I couldn’t be the strongest one in the herd, but not the weakest either.
I felt a bit guilty because by not being the weakest one, that meant someone else was, and that meant I would live…and they would die.
But I pushed the thought away. I had to survive.
I had to survive…for my sister.
At dinnertime, the guard entered my cabin with a tray of food. He obviously thought tonight would be the night I would cave. If Bethany hadn’t given me the food, he would have been right.
He pulled up the chair again.
I lay on the bed and didn’t get up, pretending to be too weak to sit up.
He set the tray on the edge of the bed. He sat there in silence, as if he expected me to sit upright and inhale the food. He’d counted his eggs before they hatched.
I turned over and faced the other wall.
He was still.
I didn’t want him to figure out that someone was slipping me food, so I had to be weak instead of defiant, too weak to give him a smartass comment.
He rose to his feet, and then a loud crash sounded.
Because he threw the tray against the wall.
I jolted slightly but tried not to react.
He stormed out and left.
His anger was a blessing, because he probably regretted throwing that tray at the wall so there would be food on the floor, but he had too much pride to pick it up. He left it behind.
And bought me some time.
When I got to work the next day, I felt strong again, because of all the calories I’d been able to ingest. I didn’t hesitate to pick up all the food off the floor and eat it, because Bethany’s food made me feel better, but my hunger hadn’t been completely satisfied. Though, I still pretended to be tired.
Bethany stood at the table, working on her first box.
I stood beside her, doing my best not to get emotional, to give our game away. Bethany had shown me kindness in a world where kindness didn’t exist. She made me want to live during the times when I thought living was pointless torture. “Thank you.” I ripped off the tape on the box and folded down the sides.
“We got you, girl.” She lifted the box and carried it away.
I stalled for a bit, masking the emotion on my face, and then turned around and got to work.
The guard stood over us to make sure I didn’t take Bethany’s food.
He was paying attention to the obvious, when he should be paying attention to the less obvious. I could tell he wasn’t the smartest guy in the world. He was probably the dullest tool in this shed.
There was a sudden change in energy all around us, like something was happening, something was coming.
I lifted my gaze to look at the other side of the clearing because all the
