I lay beside him, the sheets pulled to my shoulder because I was cold once he was gone.
He didn’t show affection. He didn’t hold me close. It was back to how it was before—coldness.
He sat up and got out of bed.
I watched him stand straight and start to dress, sheathing his strong body in the clothes, his beautiful skin disappearing underneath his uniform. The cloak was the last piece of clothing, and he secured it in place like nothing had happened.
I didn’t expect him to stay. He couldn’t sleep there, not when people would assume where he spent his night. I didn’t wait for a kiss goodbye or an affectionate touch, because I knew that night was a one-time thing.
He had to be a one-time thing.
He sat in the chair again and pulled on his gloves.
I sat at the edge of the bed, and even though he’d already seen me naked, I covered my body with the sheet. “Can I bring something with me?”
He finished with his gloves then regarded me coldly, like the heat of our passion didn’t thaw his heart.
I grabbed the book by the edge. It was my bible. It was the story that mirrored my own, that made me feel connected to someone outside the four walls of this cell. It gave me hope when I was alone.
He eyed it in my hands before he lifted his gaze and looked at me again.
“This book has gotten me through a lot, and I want to keep it.”
He rose to his feet and extended his hand to take it.
I gave a silent goodbye, my hands aching the second I released it.
He tucked it inside his pants and pulled his shirt back down.
I watched him head to the door—and walk out.
18
The Chateau
I sat across from Bethany in the clearing, eating one of my final meals.
I wasn’t coming back.
And if I was…I wouldn’t sit here ever again.
I was guilty about the women I was leaving behind. While I would make it past the river and to the chateau, their lives would go on like nothing had changed. My successful escape might encourage them to rebel since there were far more of them than the guards. It might give them hope. It might give them strength to fight back.
I felt terrible for leaving my friend behind, after everything she’d done for me.
But if our situations were reversed, she would do the same.
“Do you know when Magnus is leaving again?” she whispered.
“In a few days.”
“What will you do then?”
I wouldn’t have to worry about it. “Not sure…”
She kept her head down and continued to eat.
“Thank you for everything.” I needed to express my gratitude, to tell her how much her friendship meant to be before I never saw her again. “You’re a good person, Bethany.”
She lifted her gaze and looked up. “Don’t talk like that. You’ve survived this long…”
I was dressed and ready to go.
I waited for the sound of footsteps, waited for my final meal to be delivered.
His feet climbed onto the porch. They came closer before he opened the door.
I turned to look at him.
He shut the door behind himself then sat across from me. There was no hot cocoa this time. There was just the tray of food. He handed it to me before dropping his hood and revealing his face.
I started to eat even though I wasn’t hungry.
“Take your time. We need to wait thirty minutes.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see.” He kept his gloves on with his head bowed, barely looking at me.
I ate the dinner in my lap, sitting close to the man who had bedded me the night before. That fire hadn’t returned, probably because we were both focused on the next part of this plan. “If I don’t get a chance to talk to you again…I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Like always, there was no acknowledgment of my words.
I shouldn’t have to thank him for what I was entitled to—freedom. But that was the world we lived in.
I finished everything on my plate then set the tray on the nightstand.
Now we just sat together, the minutes trickling by.
“I’m afraid.” I let the words escape my lips, abandoning all pretense because he knew me inside and out at this point. He knew me in a way no one on the outside did, not even my sister.
He lifted his chin and looked at me, his brown eyes trying to read further into my words.
“I’m not afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I’m afraid of losing this…of losing this chance.”
He regarded me with his signature hard gaze. “Then cross that river.”
I gave a slight nod.
“You have the map?”
I patted my thigh.
He rose to his feet and returned the chair to the wall.
I knew it was time.
He moved to my tub and pulled out a tool from his pocket. Then he started to slam it down onto the faucet, breaking it from the wall until the metal clanked into the bottom of the basin.
“What are you doing?”
He grabbed the faucet then turned back to me. He came closer to me until he grabbed my hand and placed the piece of metal within my grasp.
Still confused, I never took my gaze off his face.
“Dinner is finished so there shouldn’t be any guards around. But someone will find me sooner rather than later.”
“Find you…?” My voice broke because I already suspected where this was going.
“When I open the door, you’re going to have to hit me with that.” He spoke so plainly, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. “Hit me in the head. Knock me out. Then go.”
I lowered my hand to my side. “No…”
He released a deep sigh. “It’s the only way—”
“I’m not going to hit you!”
“If you don’t, they’re going to assume I helped you escape. You need to hit me, and you need to hit me hard enough to make this believable. I’m
