“It’s cool. I didn’t really know how to tell you. But after that, I just kept an eye out. Besides, you were always nice to me. When we had to work together in class. And in seventh grade, you helped me pass a math test.”
“And now you want to come to California with me to stop me from getting beat up by bullies?”
“And to help you in case this piece of shit car falls apart on the way.”
“I wish I had known. I wish…I didn’t even suspect. I just thought…I wish I had known. We could have actually been friends. Or something.”
“I think we’re friends now.”
“Well, yeah. But I meant…I could have at least shown more appreciation since you were apparently my guardian angel.”
“It wasn’t a bad job. Especially after we started high school and you didn’t really have a big target sign on your back anymore.”
Ed reacted without thought, reaching out to take Sammy’s shoulder. He squeezed it lightly, wishing that there could be more contact. Wishing there didn’t have to be such a distance between them. They had been closer than Ed had ever imagined, and yet, he knew he couldn’t do what he really wanted to do.
“Sammy…”
“I didn’t creep you out, did I?”
“No. I mean, that’s what everybody wants, right? Somebody who will always have their back.”
He wasn’t going to move his hand until Sammy made him, but his fingers were starting to tingle from the contact. Sammy’s shirt was still damp, but his skin was so warm through the material that it almost felt like he wasn’t wearing anything at all. Ed imagined himself leaning forward and inhaling, catching the scent of rain on his skin. His mouth watered to taste the clean, salty tang of his neck.
Lightning slashed across the sky, cutting it in two. Ed hadn’t realized how dark it was getting until the flash illuminated Sammy’s face, and he saw something in Sammy’s eyes that he hadn’t noticed before. The boom of thunder shook the car, and sent a new shiver down his spine. He hated thunder. He hated loud noises in general, but this was worse. Being stuck in the middle of the desert in what amounted to an oversized tin can during the worst rainstorm of his life made the thunder so much worse.
“You shouldn’t worry about the thunder. There’s not a safer place you can be in a lightning storm.”
“I know. I still wish I was in a house. Hell, I’d settle for some little hotel room at this point.”
“With a bed?”
Ed swallowed. “Well, most hotel rooms do have beds, right?”
“Something you can stretch out on and watch the rain roll down the window.”
“I suppose you could watch the rain here, too.”
“We could lay down in the back.”
“You could. I don’t think we’d both fit in the back seat.” Ed said it lightly, like it was too ridiculous to ever take seriously.
“No, I meant all the way in the back. We could probably fit back there.”
Ed finally released Sammy’s shoulder—it was ridiculous to keep such a tight hold on him—and looked over his shoulder. Sammy was right. They could fit back there. It wouldn’t exactly be comfortable because they were both a little too tall, but the back of the station wagon was empty. They could crawl back there and…
And what? Just lay there and pretend that they weren’t touching each other in a tiny, cramped space? Watch the water sluicing down the back window and silently follow the patterns? It seemed like a silly way to pass the time. Worse than that, it seemed like a maddening way to pass the time. There would be no avoiding or ignoring Sammy’s natural, musky scent. Or just how good his chest looked covered in a damp, thin T-shirt.
“Come on.”
Ed didn’t even have a chance to protest before Sammy was climbing over his seat like a monkey. He nearly kicked Ed in the head in his excitement.
“Are you really serious?”
“Yes. Do you have anything better to do? Besides, we could be stuck here for a while. We might as well get comfortable.”
“I’m comfortable here.”
Ed glanced in his rearview mirror in time to see the tight curve of Sammy’s ass. It was so nice, it didn’t need the wet denim clinging to it, but that certainly helped.
“We might as well get more comfortable.”
Ed decided to stop arguing. Partially because he didn’t actually have another argument against moving. Partially because there was no point pretending that he didn’t want to. Especially since they were probably going to get cold as the storm raged on and the night approached. The fear of being trapped on the side of the road, in the rain, for an entire night momentarily overwhelmed the thrill of being so close to Sammy. If he had been fantasizing about being trapped with Sammy, he’d probably hit on something close to this scenario. But the fantasy and the reality were too far apart, and as he climbed over the back seat, he found himself wishing all the harder for a hotel room.
“There,” Sammy announced with satisfaction. “That’s better, right?”
Perhaps. For some definition of better. They were both on their sides, facing each other, their knees bent in order to accommodate the narrow space. Over Sammy’s shoulder, Ed saw another flash of lightning. From his new angle, he could see the true expanse of the dark, angry clouds stretching across Nevada. Maybe as far as California.
“This is so weird,” Ed murmured.
“Why?”
“Why? Because I never thought I’d have to drive clear across Utah to get in the backseat of a car with you.”
“You’ve thought about what it would take to get in the back of a car with me?” Sammy asked.
“I…that came out wrong.”
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
“What did you mean then?”
“Just that…I didn’t expect to be in the backseat of any car with you.”
“But you thought about it?”
Ed blinked. Sammy looked at him with an open face, his eyes without guile, his smile teasing the corners of his mouth. This was a setup. He knew it
